Did you lie to anyone about your surgery????????

snowbunny wrote:

The last thing I want is my business plastered all over FB.
I am only planning to tell a few close friends who I know will not judge me and I trust to support me.
My husband knows, but that is it.
I want to tell my Mum and Sisters, but I am not sure how they will react. One of my sisters is a nurse,
and I know she will tell me horror stories of bleeding, infections, etc. I will have to tell them though,
because they will want to know why I am in hospital and need help with the kids.

Snowbunny, my sister is a nurse too and I am expecting the exact same response. And I'm really only telling her because she will wonder why I'm in hospital, and would be hurt if she was my only close family member not to be told. I think I might start off the conversation with "now I'm going to tell you something and I don't want your opinion as it is my choice and my body" - she'll still no doubt feel the need to tell me what she thinks (always has) LOL I've chosen not to tell any of my friends at the moment (this could change later), just my immediate family.

Good luck!

The last thing I want is my business plastered all over FB.
I am only planning to tell a few close friends who I know will not judge me and I trust to support me.
My husband knows, but that is it.
I want to tell my Mum and Sisters, but I am not sure how they will react. One of my sisters is a nurse,
and I know she will tell me horror stories of bleeding, infections, etc. I will have to tell them though,
because they will want to know why I am in hospital and need help with the kids.

raspberryswirl wrote:

most of my close friends know, and those that don't don't even know i'm going into hospital so i'm hoping and praying nobody mentions anything on FB. it's just as bad as when someone knows your csection date and mentions it on there hahaha...

LOL raspberryswirl - FB can be an amazing correspondence tool, but other times it is a big old gossip chain isn't it...I am worried about the same thing. When I tell my sister I'm going to have to stress that she either doesn't tell her 13 year old daughter, or stress to her not to put anything on FB!!!

Good luck for your procedure in 2 days time!!!

Cheers

i work in an office of 13 men and me.. so with men, nothing is taboo.

I hadn't told my boss why i needed a week off, and he thought it was to do with uni so when my request came through as sick leave he asked me why - i said i was going into surgery and he said "ooo what are you having done?"
and my reply "oh just getting a bit of my stomach removed"

end of subject - he stopped asking any questions after that teehee


most of my close friends know, and those that don't don't even know i'm going into hospital so i'm hoping and praying nobody mentions anything on FB. it's just as bad as when someone knows your csection date and mentions it on there hahaha...

i won't be ashamed to tell people how much i've lost either. it's an incredible achievement! be proud!!!!

As time has gone on I have told a few more people. There are actually a couple of women at work, if they asked I would tell them about it. I would estimate they are both the weight I started at.
I really think the sleeve was a good decision

beccyboo78 wrote:

I don't understand why people get embarrassed to admit how much weight they have lost. You should be proud and to be honest, look sillier lying. Dont underestimate people's intelligence. They can SEE our addiction. If you don't feel comfortable answering them, why don't you just say that? Overcoming a weight problem is something to be proud of. Embrace it.

Right on Sista! Life is too short...yadda yadda. And all that.

I told my family,friends and work collegues,including the kids i worked with in my behaviour classroom,they were all supportive and positive.
Yep it really depends on the people around you and everyones circumstances are different.

Starting uni this year i didnt want to tell anyone,i just wanted them to know me as they first saw me.I have since told 2 girls ive met, what ive had done, as one struggles with weight loss and so does her mum and she told me she was worried about her mum,so i told her how much ive lost and how i did it,the other has lost weight and i trusted them.

No body should feel bad or feel they are lying,its nobody elses business,its your body and health,if we had piles we wouldnt feel we were lying if we chose not to tell people,we would just think its our own private business!!!!

shelly

I only told the people who live in my house and a few very close friends. I'm not opposed to telling other people, but at this point I haven't lost enough weight that people are really noticing yet so I'm just enjoying not being scrutinized.

I had a close friend who had the sleeve done last year, I didn't even know there was an option besides a lap band or bypass (and I knew neither was an option for me) My friend had lost a lot of weight before she told me when I commented on it. Honestly, I was in shock for a little while as she wasn't as big as me and it seemed so permanent and extreme, but when I thought about it for a while, the more it made sense to me and ultimately I decided to go ahead with it for myself this year, which has just been the answer to my prayers, so I'm very glad that she was brave enough to do it herself and generous enough to share it with me even though I might have criticized her.

I was surprised at first also that my friend had not told anyone in advance, but to be honest, I would have probably been a bit cynical about it and I completely understood her choice to keep her business to herself, it's only people who have no boundaries who think other people have to check with them first before they do something.

I'm just going to play it by ear as to who I'll tell in the future, I don't feel like I HAVE to, but I would never lie and put an unfair burden on someone who's struggling with their weight.

I have told my husband my mom and my sisters.Maybe I'll tell my brother after surgery. But I'm not going to tell anybody else. Of course I"m sure I would talk to obese people.

Everyone is different and everybody's situation is different.

Some people believe that it is not there responsibility to discuss the op with obese people and others believe that it would be cruel not to inform someone who was struggling with their weight as to the true nature of our own weightloss.

That's cool! It doesn't make anyone a "bad" person.

I guess I would find it easier to tell an absoulute stranger who is obese than say a school mum who I see everyday and might decide the op is not for her and disclose my business to others. Every situation is different.

I agree notproud.

I give everthing to my kids. I help with support group for disabilty. I am a carer.

I hardly every put myself first. Just because I won't be telling everyone does not mean I am not a giver. I just don't want everyone knowing my business.

Quote :

I suppose that I am not a natural liar, and I cannot in all honesty look a person with weight issues in the face and tell them I dieted and exercised to achieve this loss. I just am not that sort of person, but hey! That's me! I'm a giver!

Honestly I dont think it makes me a bad person. I decided to be sleeved for ME. For the first time it wasnt about my husband, or my kids it was about how I felt and how at age 34 I felt lost alone and uncomfortable and was looking forward to a life that I felt that I was a embarrassment to my gorgeous husband children and family. It sucked I was cranky and bitter and was turning into someone I didnt like.

I am now the old me, the confident, funny one that enjoys life. I jump over cracks in the footpath cause my 3yr old wants too. I jump on the trampoline with my 5yr old and I crawl all over the house with my baby playing hide and seek.

I dont owe anyone, Im a big girl I made this decision all by myself, so can other people :)

You bet I did!!!
I had dealt with negative opinions and unreal scrutiny when people knew I was banded - I was not going to go through it again.

Now, when people ask how I do it, I am happy to tell them about my protein diet, and Optifast, and exercise and seeing a dietitian.
Anything about surgery is my business - and because I had to have a hernia repair, that's what I told them.

It's a very personal decision - and I am glad I've done it my way - I enjoy the accolades without the stress of living up to their expectations.
Nobody knows what we go through in our efforts - and many don't appreciate the efforts we go to.
Enjoy whatever you think will help you keep going.
Best wishes.
Ozzieloz

I have told more people than I had planned to tell. most people have been supportive. Some I have got a reaction I did not expect.

So I don't think I will be telling anyone else.

My job is a customer service role. We get 700 to 800 people through our doors every day. I know some of our regular customers will make comments and ask questions. Even though I have been in my job for a long time I will not be telling any of my customers how I will be losing weight.

It is not my job to save the world, when I raised my weight with my doctor she sugested about surgery and I started investigating the options.

Oh Isis - you will get there! I must admit that despite my excessive weight I have always been a confident person therefore it is easier to be assertive. I understand when people are feeling vulnerable the last thing they need is to feel judged. Each to their own I say. Do whatever you feel will work for you as ultimately it is your business.

Hiya all....

I am being done on the 20th and have told my mum, dad, sister & brother in law, 3 of my close friends and an aunt. Other than that no one knows. I have told work I have GORD and am having this rectified, however, I think they will guess when I go back to work. I am not sure I want to tell them, so am just going to say I am on the baby food diet and go from there.

But in time who knows.

My friend had the bypass and at first she was embarrassed, but now she is not as she made a live saving decision in her own life, which is so true.

So maybe once I'm comfortable with it I may do the same, until then I want only positive people commenting on my weigh loss (I so want a perfect world) but we will just wait and see....

Sweet x

I wish that would work for me! But I find that saying "i'm not comfortable discussing it" makes people offended and they just keep hounding me and hounding me about it anyway. A few people might surprise me and be nice if I told the truth about having surgery, but in my general experience the world is a nasty, lonely, hurtful place and being open about things leads to getting hurt and humiliated some way or another! I know enough about my failings without having people throw them in my face. Even 3 of my close friends weren't supportive, but I wanted them to know in case they thought I had developed an eating disorder or something when I wasn't eating a lot.

I'm glad for those of you who are confident and feel safe enough to tell lots of people, or have someone caring in your lives to help you through the odd negative feedback. Hopefully I will be like you one day!

I must say, I do agree that if you choose not to tell, it's easier to just say "I don't really feel comfortable discussing it" or something similar rather than making up a story, if only because it's easier to remember who you've told what.

I told everyone.

I did not tell anyone about my intention to sleeve (except for close family) until 1 week pre-op...then I just told everyone...Ihave been sharing the news ever since, cos sometimes it works better and squashes gossip etc if u just name it and put it out there...not everyone has the confidence for that and u do take a risk that people will judge...but quite frankly it has been good for my self-esteem to not give a damn what people think...which is an absolute first for me and probably for many other people with weighty issues (for that matter)...
so far, everyone has been supportive and excited about my weight loss, have not heard anything negative (not to my face anyway) and as I said don't care either...will tell them to keep their opinions to themselves

I don't understand why people get embarrassed to admit how much weight they have lost. You should be proud and to be honest, look sillier lying. Dont underestimate people's intelligence. They can SEE our addiction. If you don't feel comfortable answering them, why don't you just say that? Overcoming a weight problem is something to be proud of. Embrace it.

I just wanted to agree with what Emily says...

I knew a lady who was looking into the operation, but hadn't made up their mind. I asked my brother (who has had the sleeve op and had great results) if he minded sharing his story with her and another friend also researching.

Up to then he had kept it a secret from the public as he knew that there are some nasties about. Unfortunately after helping these 'ladies' with info, they then went and told everyone they knew that he had had the op.
He had been telling people he was eating a lot less and exercising (both true) as he didn't want to be judged.

Unfortunately like Emily says, it's not just skinnies that can be nasty (or bigmouths more to the point of this story)!!! I was very disappointed as I had convinced my brother to help and felt a bit responsible for the leak of info due to my bad judgement of character.

Sometimes you think you're helping but could end up with a big kick in the guts as thanks!
From this experience I won't be uttering a word to anyone sorry.

I suppose that I am not a natural liar, and I cannot in all honesty look a person with weight issues in the face and tell them I dieted and exercised to achieve this loss. I just am not that sort of person, but hey! That's me! I'm a giver!

Hi all,

my advice, is go very slowly with who you tell, because as we all know, you can't 'untell' someone, and one day when you have reached goal and life is going along nicely, you may want to put it all behind you, and you may be happy that not everybody knows.

I did not tell work because there was a girl I knew who did tell her workplace, and they thought she had the band and got confused and made comments about her food etc etc A lot of Drs (GP's) don't even understand the difference between a band, sleeve and bypass let alone lay people.

As for telling overweight people, I would confide in someone who was disclosing their weight concerns to me if I didn't know them very well, but I still stick by my original point, I am glad no one at work knows, (they think it was gall bladder) All they know is I go to the gym and watch what I eat, (all true) and I get positive feedback from everyone. I think it's good to be a bit discreet, because I don't know how I will feel in 3 or 4 or 10 years time. I think I might be glad that I kept some stuff to myself.

Saying that, I have some wonderful friends who I met through this site, great hubby and supportive son, you do have to have some people who know to support you.

Janelou

True... I am lucky that my work is a community of skinnies and my students are students - they won't ask and I won't volunteer the info. I do regret telling two workmates that I have lost 45kg, it does sound pretty obscene. I just hadn't devised a plan for how to answer that question - it was the first week back after 3 months of earthquake-induced working from home for us all so I did look pretty different.