New to the forum - Thinking about surgery

Well, I saw Dr Singh today he's all happy for me to go ahead with the surgery on the 24th, but after thinking about it and looking at work and everything else I have going on, I'm going to put it of until the xmas school holidays. I have been such a baskat case lately worrying about how I'm going to get on after the surgery and get my kids over the line to graduate and not let people down that I have committed myself to do jobs for. That way I don't have to worry about work and other commitments and letting people down and trying to drag kids over the line to graduate.

So hopefully December or maybe I'll bring in the New Year with a new me in January. I will let you all know tomorrow.

Dear Denise- You will now make us an even dozen September Sleevers. I am going to have to think up a longer S title for all of us. Got my fingers crossed for you.

Signed,
Your fellow September Sleever

After I visit Dr Singh on Monday and all going okay with my results for him, my surgery date is tenatively booked for Wednesday 24th September fingers crossed its all okay

That's great, Denise - now spit up the rest of that telescope so you can call for your surgery date!
Chris

oh fantastic denise, thats great news

Congratulations Denise. You'll be on here tomorrow night giving us your date.

steph

I had my endoscopy/gastroscopy today which went fine - I just have a mild case of gastritis (swelling of the stomach lining).

Before I was sent to the twilight zone I asked Dr Thomas when could I book in for the sleeve. He asked me when were the school holidays, end of september but I'd like it done the week before if I could. He said no worries ring the rooms tomorrow book your follow up appointment for this and book the surgery at the same time.

I can still feel myself choking on that telescope, I think they left some of it behind.

Hi Angel,
I have the endoscopy tomorrow. I'm hoping I'll see Dr thomas beforehand and will be able to ask him to get a ballpark idea of when so I can make arrangements for time off work.

Hi Denise,
Surgery comes as soon as Dr Thomas can book you in...provided everything is ok with the endoscopy.

When is it booked for. should be soon? Good luck and you'll be fine! Let us know how you go! :)

Hi Denise,

I'm sure all surgeons are different as my surgeon books the endoscopy and the surgery at the same time. And the endoscopy is always done only a few days, and no more than a week, before the surgery.

steph

Update!!!

I have my endoscopy next week so I should be able to make a booking for surgery at the follow up visit, which I'm hoping will be sooner rather than later . But.....

I'll probably be having the surgery while my Dad is overseas in Dubai for work - what timing - now if anything is going to send him over the edge that will or it could just be the excuse he needs not to go!?

How long do you usually have to wait from endoscopy to surgery??

Hi Denise,

Just wanted to let you know that I think you are very brave to be standing up to your father. Sometimes the people we love the most are the hardest to please and the hardest to stand up to. I'm Italian so...enough said! He he!

Much Love, sweets!!

The hardest part is over now.

Way to go, Denise - so who needs psychs, when we have each other?
Just joking!
Chris

Congratulations on your decision Denise. I'm proud of you.



Now you get

You guys are MINTOX!!!

I went and saw my psyche today and she told me exactly what you guys have been saying. I have to do what makes me happy and healthier and my dad is just going to have go to Bunnings buy some wood build a bridge and get over it!! He will have reservation leading upto and during the intial recovery but once I'm over the other side of that I'm sure he will be fine.

Thanks everyone to you all!!! I'm off to ride my bike

Denise you are making this decision because you want to be healthier and happier..... and all parents want to see their children happy no matter how old they are .......... once you are firm in your own mind what you want to do, ask them to be happy for you, to show their love for you by supporting your choices in life regardless of if they fully agree with them or not ...... then give dad a really big hug and kiss ...... this part will work at least

Denise,

Perhaps your parents need to have a chat with some of the people on this forum. There's nothing better than getting the information they need from people who have already had the surgery and there's not one person on here who is unhappy and regrets having it done.

The proof is in the pudding so to speak.

steph

Dear Denise-

I had a quiet moment to reread your posts more carefully, and I realized that there are 3 issues being addressed at once-

1.Seeking your parent's permission to do weight loss surgery
2.Seeking your parent's approval and reassurance that you are doing the right thing
3.Deciding which weight loss surgery is best for you

Perhaps once you see the problem broken down into the three different components you will find it easier to come to your own conclusions. Try focusing on only one for today, postpone the others till tomorrow.... Now that you only have to deal with one issue at a time... well it becomes much clearer- because #1 is not at all the same as #2.

Hi Denise
Firstly, congratulations on having that difficult conversation with your parents - well done!
And you were right in your expectations, but that doesn't mean it will stay that way.
I was surprised that my mother didn't react as your father did, which I expected - however, she was in tears the day before I went down for the op and I asked her why. and pointed out that she didn't bawl her eyes out 5 weeks before when I went in to have my hand operated on! Her only response to this was "but this is different"!!!
Oh, by the way, the lapbanders I know do not have to stay on mushies forever, so you might want to look at that info again, however I think the rest of your info is accurate.
I agree with the others - make your decision and then just let them deal with it - it's your choice.
Good luck!
Chris

Denise, I am the same age as you, and am extremely close to my parents. It was worse for me really as I needed the money from my parents to go ahead with the operation! Two years ago when I approached the topic of the lap band, they did not entertain it, I was told not to talk such rubbish. But more recent health problems that my father and my uncle have faced made them realise that I was a dead cert to be heart failure victim no.3 in the family! My mother came with me to all the meetings with the Consultant and the nurse/dietician etc. so she relayed all the information to my father. Luckily my sister in law in NZ has a gastric problem and had to have a similar operation (she is a size 8 so not for weight reasons) and this helped to give the family insight into gastric operations. Being so fresh off the operating table, I have to say I understand where your Dad is coming from it is NOTHING like I was expecting! But the girls having bands the same time, were in an equal amount of discomfort! I'm glad I went the whole hog as they say, because if something went wrong with the band, I would be petrified of having to have another operation! (that's my current view!) and the next ope to have is the sleeve! It makes sense to have that done. Like I said, you know it's not an easy choice. My parents have been fantastic since it was agreed to go ahead with the operation and really supportive, I am sure that yours once they are on board with which op you have will be the same. And there is just something about father/daughter relationships...mine is really fiery, and I believe it's because we are so alike. I just stop to think how I would feel if it was my child...
I hope you feel better soon, and manage to come to an agreement. Thinking of you x

Couldn't put it better if I tried---so I won't. You can do this Denise.

Denise you are 36 years old not 16 it is not open to discussion. I am sorry but the options are support me or do not but what I do is what I do. Write them a letter and tell them straight you not prepared to be talked to like a 2 year old and told when and how they will discuss something that you have made a decsion on. You want their love and support not their consent.
I am not a parent hating person either I am as close to my mum, my dad passed away 18 months ago as you are to yours, and yes at over 40 they still had (have) THAT much input into my life as well hehehe. But the reality is the tears will come you will feel 16 again put it in a letter. Not nasty not explaining the surgery again. just tell them you love them but that the decsion has been made and now you want their love and support and expect that from them with no more talk of a lapband your choice has been made and you want to get on with your life with a permant solution to your weight problems.

Denise I have said this ONLY because you have said you have choosen the sleeve over the band. If you have still not made your mind up then go away and work out what you want FIRST. Do not let your parents or us sleevers for that matter influence you in either direction. You have to want the surgery you want for the right reasons that work for you.


applesauce

Well I've talked to my parents.....

OH MY HARRY HAT!

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I told you all there was going to be tears :[img]http://ww . The folks are so concerned that something is going to happen to me and that this is drastic action and should be a last resort since its as my dad said 'not like getting a tooth pulled' - no shit sherlock. I've told them and they know that I've have tried every diet under the sun - I can lose about 20kg (which is the most I have done using optiyuk) and put it all back on and a bit more for good measure, so I am at my last resort.

Dad would rather have the band over the sleeve. From my understanding of the band from what Dr Thomas said and from what you guys have said out there is;
1. the band can slip/corrode.
2. the port site can get infected and move aswell
3. you are basically on mushie food for the rest of your life, unless you go for the easy options of chocolate and milkshakes which just put the weight back on.
4. you can never have bread again - what's the easiest lunch in the world a sandwich
5. can't have steak there goes going out for a bbq and dinner
6. you have to keep going back to the doctor to have the stupid thing filled up or emptied.
7. it doesn't remove the feeling of hunger just slows down how quickly you eat

Yes or no???? I have tried to tell him this stuff, but he doesn't get it even after being there when I was talking to the surgeon. Whereas with the sleeve you can have a normal diet as anyone else just smaller portions.

.... and then did the tears come it's a wonder I didn't drown. Dad can't handle tears so the grumpy bum said until you can talk about this without getting upset we're not talking about it anymore. I trying to make a life changing decision and I just want them to reassure me that I'm doing the right thing. My mum is being much better about it all, I think my dad as mum says is worried because he doesn't want anything to happen to us (his kids) and I think its dredging up his feeling of helplessness when my brother was going through cancer treatment (he's okay now) and Dad couldn't do anything to fix it - similar situation I guess.

I just want to have a "normal" life and be able to buy off the rack, be able to go out and not be embarassed by my size and stick it up all those blokes that have said you'd be the best chick if you weren't so fat etc etc etc.......

Now that I've bored you all to sleep [center] that is my vent for the day.