Why am I feeling this way?

I would believe that, I was in labour for almost 3 days and you should see the size of my sons head...huge! hahaha

Haha - this is definitely easier than that first child!!

thanks Butterflygirl, I am realising that it is just the nerves that have me second guessing. One second Im excited and then the next Im petrified! I cant remember being this scared since I was about to give birth for the first time and thats what gets me through. I think well I gave birth (a couple of time actually) and I got through it, I can get through this.
I forget how strong I can actually be sometimes, bloody nerves...go away already! Im sure Ill drive my family crazy up until my operation!!!!

Butterflygirl, that was a great post...

Hi realme...

they way i see it, is it's a little like Christmas, we wait and wait and wait for it to come close. and when it does, it is never as we imagined it to be.

I bet you thought you would be on top of the world, and feel like the most wonderful thing in the world when you got your date...
instead, the turkey was not perfect, auntie Sarah is fighting with everyone and cousin Dave is passed out under the table...

and it's ok to be disappointed and feel flat.

That is normal.

remember your on a journey, and you need take each step as it comes. and some days will come and be happy as and others will be flat and teary.

It is hard to imagine what life will be like on the other side.... and that can be scary too.

Life is different on the other side. but you are still you, and all the same joys and unfortunately issues will be there on the other side..... but you will weigh less..... and that is great.

Take care of you, don't be down on your for not feeling like you expected. very normal.

I agree with all that was said. I wasnt excited, I looked at it as something that NEEDED to be done.

I wanted to write to everyone who posted here but I would of had too many 'Multi quotes' hehe.

I just want to say that I feel eternally thankful that I have found this site. Each and everyone of you have given me the understanding and most of all strength to make me realise that even though this journey is a very personal one, you all make me feel so accepted and supported in the most wonderful way. Even though I have not had the operation yet I am grateful to have found this lovely GSS family and once again thankyou from the bottom of my heart.

Today, thanks to all of you, Im a little more excited and I say, BRING ON MARCH 28 2011!!!!!

Hello Gorgeous Realme ....... I did see you were a bit worried yesturday ........ and Girlfriend Darling you will be right ...... Try and meet up with the girls that have gone through it recently to give you peace ...... But honestly i can imagine what your going through ......and look at it this way ...You will be a hot Bikini babe next summer .......... Realme i am here if you need anything Ok Chika ......
Bless You ........


hugs and kisses from Lovelyslim


P.s..... Sorry matety ..i felt like a stalker cos i saw you on tuesday and than on wed ...hehehehehehehehe

Thanks for the response Berta your post really lifted my spirits. Everything you said in your post reflects EXACTLY how I am feeling/have felt in the past. The one area I may differ slightly is that I rarely if ever tried diets I just lacked the will power to even give them a go , hence my thoughts of "Can I do this myself" after I lost the initial weight. All that aside your comment about not many obese old people is very true. One of the overriding reasons for me to have this surgery is to still be around for my kids & to see my grandchildren (When they come along).

The permanancy is the thing that worries me but your analogy is absolutly spot on.

Thanks again for your words of encouragment.

Hi Realme and Ellbee,

yep I can confirm that that growing feeling of anxiety as the date for your surgery draws closer is something I definitely felt! I was so excited when I booked my surgery to get the band out and the sleeve done - I was europhoric to say the least. However, as the days drew in and the date got closer, I became very anxious and scared about having such invasive and non-reversible surgery for something I felt I should have been able to control myself.

Then I started thinking about the fact that I've tried everything - literally every diet, pill, potion, fad and lapband to keep the weight off and just couldn't do it. I also realised that for me, being obese was akin to having a terminal disease. Someone else on one of these threads mentioned something their doctor said to them before their surgery - you don't see many morbidly obese old people. That really resonated for me. I just knew that I was going to die young(ish) unless I finally confronted this demon.

The other thing I thought about was the permanancy of this surgery and how scared I was of that. I was very nervous about not being able to undo "the damage"of the surgery . Then I thought to myself, you know what? Every time you make a decision to diet, or exercise and you start a program - you should be starting it with the belief that the change will be permanent. As we all know on here, the only solution to obesity is a permanent one - which is exactly what you're getting with the sleeve. Permanent change is a great thing!

Don't worry about not feeling excited - your adrenalin will kick in just before you head off to the hospital and within 2 to 3 days after surgery, you'll be excited about the fact that you have made a fabulous decision to save your life!

Sending you lots of hugs and will be thinking of you on your day!

Cheers for now,
Berta x

Hi Realme,
I totally get where you are coming from. I get sleeved in 5 days & I have to admit to being a bit [email=S@#t]S@#t[/email] scared of life on the other side. As we all know this is permanent & no going back if you change your mind after the op. Its this thought that freaks me out the most. I had to lose 10kg for the op to proceed & I lost almost 12 & I kept thinking "can I do this myself" , but I have fallen off the wagon quite often since the doctor gave me the green light so I have consoled myself with the fact that if I didnt have the op Im sure I would eventually put the 11-12 kg back on.

I also understand the lack of euphoria. The day the doctor gave me the green light I was over the moon but as it has gotten closer & closer the feeling of anxiety has grown. Having read many posts on this forum I think the feelings of anxiety & fear are pretty normal ,(Is that right other sleevers ?)

Having said all of that I am sure this time next year we will all be glad we took the "Leap of Faith" and there will be no looking back.

Good luck with everything in the future.

Hey Realme....

as your name suggests , you are searching for the "real me" and now you have your date, It is scarey to know that the " real me" will have the chance to come on out and meet the rest of us....Its ok to be scared!

remember the day you came and visited me in hospital, I may have appeared to be all good, but I was sooooo scared and worried about what I had done....and you know what , I am feeling better and better everyday! I have now lost 17kgs and with the love and support of family and friends I will continue on my journey....

As for you its all good! Stay focused and remind yourself why you started this journey in the first place, I am sure its because the " real me" wants to come out and PARTYTEE......

KEEP SMILING PRETTY LADY ....and we will catch up again soon!
.

Hi,
Forgive me I have had a glass of wine but will try to explain what I think it is anyway.

You cannot maintain the excitement, the adrenalin that surges through the body with excitement is just not sustainable in my opinion. There is also a little of the "I am a failure and not good enough becuase I have to be doing this" thing I think.
I went through it as well. "What is wrong with me" and feeling a bit flat.

Every mood that we go through does pass, it is human nature. There is also a little grief thrown in there as well, you are probably grieving for the life that you have now in the assumption that it will be different on the other side.

My advise is just go with it and try to stay focused, you don't have to be bouncing off the walls. Just trust yourself, the rest will come.

Hugs Gail

I've been the same way - particularly some crushing realisations (I'm not just "plump" was one of them). Facing up to surgery is the most courageous thing - but for me it means acknowledging other things haven't worked, and all the "shoulds" come flooding in. "Should do this on my own" "Should have better control" "Should be more like those people who are naturally skinny"

I've cried as much as I've laughed since booking in surgery, but I tend to only show the happy face to people.

I intend to get my crying out of the way before surgery and focus on the "ah well it's done now, let's make the most of it afterwards". That way, it can only be all good.

But I feel for you. This is not an easy thing, we all feel a little deflated when preparing for changes like the sleeve, I reckon.

I think it's perfectly normal. You can only sustain excitement for a certain amount of time! I had a break from this website for a while before my surgery, and it was a good thing. As the date came closer I became more nervous, but really I think just plod along, have your surgery and I can guarantee that six months after the surgery you'll be excited by it again. ;)

Well I went to see my surgeon yesterday and Im a little dissapointed. Im dissapointed with myself because after waiting almost a year to finally get a date I feel rather......flat and un-excited by it all.
Whats wrong with me? I should be so pumped but Im not! I dont know if its nerves or if the reality of it all but I dont feel the least bit excited. I have 13 weeks to go to the operation is here and I even feel a little .....sad. I waited so long to see my surgeon and even my family was asking if everything was ok.
Is this normal? I read through the posts here and I feel that all of the people that have had the operation are amazing to have gone through such a life changing experience. I know I have to do it and I wont back out but I just cant understand why Im feeling this way???