6 weeks out from surgery and NOW I'm having doubts....

Hi Judy....

Have you seen this topic about hair loss...it's also mentioned in a number of other places on the site...I think mainly in the post-op thread....there seems to be a suggestion it may be linked to lack of protein post surgery...so if you keep the protein up it may not be a problems...

Have a good day today

S
http://www.gastricsleevesupport.com/the-post-op-page-f4/hair-loss-t3067.htm

Hi Diamonds, think I have posted in 3 different places on here tonight I am so confused/numb/nervous/doubting/spaced out/questioning/worried, you name it. Surgery is on 22/4/10 so with one day to go I am also now wondering. I have to keep in mind what I am like now - 5' 2" and 115.5kg - unable to walk far, do housework without puffing, turn over comfortably in bed, fit in an airplane seat without an extension seat belt, having to use a CPAP machine at nite to sleep, taking tablets to control high blood pressure, unable to sit on the floor and play with my grandchildren, can't look at myself in the mirror or in photos without cringing, I hate having to buy size 24 clothes that are frankly yuk and how can you ever look good when you are that big, I have sore knees all the time. Well, that pep talk helped me for 5 minutes, might have to keep repeating it like a mantra! Have asked questions on another thread re hair loss which has been mentioned my doc did not tell me about that, but staying healthy is a worry too when we are supposed to eat so much less, how do we do that when we eat so little after??? So many questions. Repeat mantra. I feel like I am operating on automation at the moment like a robot. Maybe it is just too much to cope with. Repeat mantra. OK I know I want to lose weight but there is a tiny voice in there saying WHAT ABOUT AFTER. Once again, I guess time will tell. Probably not much help to you Diamonds, but these are my random thoughts at this time (12.55am), haven't been able to eat tonite and sleep looks a long way off. Might go watch some TV (if I can concentrate on it). Take care all, thanks for your help.

Hugs,
Judy

Hey Diamonds,

I waited a year before my surgery and through most of it, I was adamant I was getting it done and I was making the right choice. But, about half way through the year one morning I woke up and thought WTF am I doing????? I didn't have nerves, more a feeling similar to getting a new puppy or having another baby. It's like this total dread of commitment. It didn't leave straight away, I think it lasted little over a week, but by that time I had braced my husband that regardless of the waisted cash, I was not going to have it done if I didn't want it. My panic thoughts were that I may never be able to eat normally again. That it would almost be like a disability. Lucky for me he understood and also wanted me to be sure before I did it.
Anyway,I didn't fight it and didn't make up my mind either way, just let my feelings follow their course and eventually I kind of realized those thoughts didn't bother me at all anymore and surprised myself to discover I really wanted it after all. Even if my imagined eating habits were going to come true.
I am really happy I went through this doubt. I am grateful that I went all the way to ' No, I'm not having it' to 'Bring it on!' I feel confident I have explored all those emotions and have been true to myself with my final choice.
I am only too well aware that there are plenty of other mixed up reactions on their way. But I am almost four weeks out of surgery now, have lost 13 kilos and feel great. I can eat more than I expected, I drink without problem and have plenty of energy. The occasional time I am eating in front of others, like a BBQ or Party, I realize most people aren't even aware of how much your eating anyway, and if they are they probably think your dieting-which you are! . So what?
So in summary ( I didn't mean to be this long!) I am happy and confident at present but that doesn't mean in a few months I am not going to get that same dread again. I just know that when something is as life changing and permanent like this , it is to be expected we are all going to have our moments of panic and fear. As Gail so beautifully puts it- "if you didn't then you wouldn't have a pulse!'


Best wishes,

Wrenxxxxx

wow, only 2 days out... Best of Luck and cheers to a speedy and smooth recovery... May the kgs melt off you all. xxoo

totally agree with tempest they feel bigger than butterflies there bats.(Im 2 days away)

What date is your surgery diamonds ?

I'm booked in with dr bovey for the 2nd June I had a lapband done with him in 2008 and had it removed recently.

I have to say by far my biggest fear with the sleeve- is failure =(

we'll be right- I know it !!!! Especially with the great support from these guys and gals !
S Xx

Diamonds,
What you are feeling is so normal...
Have you ever been to any of the get togethers?This might make you feel better,meet up with other sleevers and see how normal we all are.
Not sure where you live ,but I'm sure they have a meet up somewhere near you.
I was sleeved just over 2 months ago and 13kgs down and I feel great.
NIKE (just do it) you will be fine,best thing that I have ever done.

Sharon

Hi
on my surgery day I sat on my bed in hospital crying, until they took me to theater.
then, I started crying while I was waiting, the when they took me in and was preparing every think around me I was crying.

I just keep going over in my mind, that I had tried ever thing to loose weight, and if I ever wanted to be skinny and healthy, this was my only options.

You will be fine, you know it's the right thing for you by now.

and if you didn't get nervous at some point I think there maybe more of a problem.

Hi Diamonds,
If you weren't nervous you wouldn't have a pulse, so thank god you are a bit nervous.
Adam is right, I actually called my nervous stage bat gut because it stopped feeling like butterflies and started to feel a lot like bats running around in there.

Eternlslady - Funny you should use the wedding / surgery analogy. I have mentioned on occasion on here that I have a couple of ex husbands buried in the back yard. So for me surgery would win every time LOL

Bottom line is you are perfectly natural to feel the way you do.
BUT I bet you love your tiny new tummy as much as we do.

Hugs Gail

I'm with everyone else on this one. I laughed reading about Red Rooter almost jumping off the table, so funny, I can really related to that one.

I also remember lying on the table in the theatre being prepped for surgery and thinking hmm not sure about this. In retrospect, I wasn't doubting the surgery as I would never have lost this much weight without it (have been on the lose 5kg, gain 10kg merry go round for 10 years) but I was scared of the actual surgery and waking up sore. But as it was a laproscopic procedure, I found it ok and I recovered really quickly. Not that bad at all!!

And yep, I also thought I'll never be able to eat xxx again. Well you have to go through the liquid / mushy / slowly introduce solids stage but 8 mths on & there's not much I can't eat. Of course I can't eat a whole McDonalds meal like I used to but who cares? I have lost weight, gained energy & health. I can have a little bit of the naughty stuff occasionally too.

Good luck with the next few weeks

Completely normal. I nearly walked out of the hospital 3 times whilst waiting for my op. Watching all the food ads and thinking I would never be able to eat again. Definately been the best thing ever.

competely natural and you will likely to be more anxious as you get closer. I went through a range of emotions from excited to scared to anxious and lastly relief after I had surgery.

Seriously having the sleeve is the best thing I have ever done. I can't believe I have lost 50kgs since July. I was telling someone yesterday that I had 35kgs to go to get to my goal weight and they said " wow thats a lot" The funny part is that 35kgs is not a lot when you think that I had to lose 85 to begin with. None of this would have happened with out the surgery

Hi Diamonds,
I'm five weeks out and already on opti and feel the same, so I guess it is fairly normal.

Im pre sleeve too- and dont even have a date yet.

But im waking up with nervous excitement about it all!

Ive never been excited about an operation before! Ive had 7 surgeries in my life so im not too worried about the anesthetic or anything.

Maybe its the change factor that you are fearing? (i get that because ive been wondering about it too).

Good luck!

Nat

xoxoxoxoxo

Hi diamonds......

ask Tempest she refers to it as batgut!

completely natural.....

It's a big decision. It's a life changing decision. It's normal to question it. It's also normal for the nerves to kick in as the date draws closer.
Think about the cliches surrounding wedding days! And nobody is putting you to sleep and removing parts of your body when you are getting married. If you can question marriage, you can certainly be expected to be nervous about surgery.
This one will be a first for me, but I have had 2 prior surgeries and had my moments of panic about each one.

Try and surround yourself with positive thoughts and images. Pictures of yourself when you were young, pictures of fashion you'd like to wear, activities you'd like to do.
Focusing on good things will help get you through the hard parts pre-op nerves and post-op recovery.

Of course it is normal, i even thought of running away when i was on the bed jut out side the operating theatre!!!

But what are you really questioning just the fact of having an op? or the sleeve?

I think the majority of people freak out!

Is this normal???

I've been so pumped for this... For over a year... Now finally I am so close, really 6 weeks is nothing but I'm questioning it!!!

Please tell me this is normal???