Having the sleeve with young kids/babies and no husband support?

Why is it any of his business? Just tell him you have to have a hospital procedure. Anything more than that isn't really his concern.

Lisa,
Gall Bladder removal has scars in similar areas to the sleeve. This surgery is very common in oveweight women. You could say that that is your reason. Hope this helps.

You can do it. The egative side (recovery) is only for a short period, but the positive side lasts for the rest of your life.

As I currently work four days my kids are in daycare from Mon to Thurs so that will help things a bit.

I could never go without seeing my kids for a week so I know I am going to have to ask for his help. He will help, it is more that I don't like asking.

I bounced back from my cs fairly well. I hope this is the same although I hear you all about being tired. Will start thinking about leave.

It is great to hear from everyone - the feedback is great. I also love seeing everyones tickers and goals.

Fraggle - unfortuantely his sister has severe endo.... he won't fall for that one LOL

Hi Leesa,

Because I wasn't really keen on telling everyone what I was doing I contacted my obstetrician to see if there was a way I could explain my op using endomitiriosis (which I do actually have) as an excuse. I told her I needed something that would keep me in hospital for up to 5 days and have about a 10 day recovery and this is what she told me:

A complicated laparoscopy for severe endometriosis including excision of endometriosis; anterior resection of sigmoid colon involved with endometriosis would keep some one in hosptial for 3-5 days.

So maybe you could memorise that and use it if he asks.

I hope that helps. Good luck!

Yep Leesa I would go with urgent surgery required for "women's problems"....tell him you need him to have the kids for a whole week to 10 days & that you need him to have the kids of a nightime for a few more days as well .....if you could bear to do that then that might be best (if he'll cooperate)....

I was a single mum too & I know it can be very hard especailly having to deal with the ex...however he is their dad...

You will need some recovery time as it is major surgery. You might find that you recover really quickly, some do, & then you can get the kids back sooner but some people take a while to recover & you need to be able to rest & nap when you need to..

Best wishes

Hi
I just had my op 3 weeks ago yesterday. Op day was Wednesday and home on sat morning. By fri afternoon I was feeling good. On tues I went for my first walk around the block, but Monday I felt lousy.
I have a 2.5yr old and a 9 month old. The 9 month old wad hardest to care for as she was so wriggly and would kick me.
I was picking them both up from the time I got home. I did have help tho, my in laws and my husband were here, I got pretty tired by end of day so was glad to have the others do dinner and bath times.
I actually started painting my house ( still going) just before 2 weeks was up.
My shoulder tip pain was the worst problem for me as I was getting it every other day or so.
I think you will need help def for the first week, week and a half.
I have felt teriffic for over a week now. Everyday the scales make me happy, 12 kg down since starting opti 2 weeks before op.
I'm 33, and I think recovery is a little more difficult the older you are. But, I feel great and am looking after the children on my own now and running the house with no help till hubby gets home.
Good luck, hope I helped.
Rebecca

Ohhh I forgot about the tiredness.......I would fall asleep without realising it. I'd be watching oprah, then wake up during the 5pm news!

Hi there,

I have had 4 c/s and the sleeve was much easier pain wise and the endone they let me take home was awesome! Saying that though you cant look after kids high on drugs. I pretty much slept the first week out of hospital. I would wake up and get up but within 30min be back in bed and fast asleep not long after. I did this non stop and still slept all night! Apart from recovering from surgery you are also exhausted from not "eating" so you are more tired. I would say the first week was the worst,the 2nd I still didnt do a lot and the third better but overall it took me 3 full weeks to feel "normal" again... all the best for your op x

I was in hospital for 4 days (Tues-Fri) and hubby looked after our 3.5yr old, 2 yr old and 5 month old. When I got home I was cooking and looking after the baby no problem but was tired so did go for a few naps. Hubby went back to work on the Monday so the cleaning didn't happen, I sat down when needed and me eldest went to childcare on the Monday & Wednesday. I did suffer my back ache half way through the day from carrying the baby and surprisingly I wasn't too tired must have been the adrenaline.
I haven't had a c section so can't compare but once home I wasn't in any pain after the sleeve.

I'm sorry to hear about your situation it must have been awful. It is great that you are concentrating on you now and you and your children will benefit from the new slim, healthy you!

Pom x

Hi, dont worry about the little one too much, you can sit and cuddle straight away but you just need an offsider to do the other stuff.You will be surprised how quickly you will feel better.
I have had two c sections and the sleeve. The sleeve was a breeze after the c secs for me.
The only thing as a new mum that I would be thoughtful about is that you will feel quite tired generally for a few months as you have very little fuel to burn and you would have had surgery and so be prepared for this as it can be quite frustrating when you are used to being active [as Im sure you are with littlees] Try to rest and dont knock yourself out, believe me this too will pass. Goodluck your gonna be great !

Hi MissLJ,
I was sleeved a couple of months ago and I had a 7yr old, a 3yr old and a 2yr old. I needed help. I couldn't totally do the daily things for them so hubby and my darling sister helped out. I was still there with the kids so they did not miss me - They did while I was in hospy though. I was in for 4 nights (I elected to stay another night due to the kids). I popped the kids into day care for a few days as well, just so I could rest. You do need to ask for help - I only realised this when I fell in a heap..lol.

The op is not as bad as a cs - it feels like you have done a bucket load of sit ups.

I'm sorry to hear of your recent separation. Although, from what you dicovered about his long standing infidelity - you are better off. It is going to be so hard for you, but, just wait until down the track, when you have the sleeve and are smokin' hot!!! you will have the best revenge by being a healthy, happy and smokin woman. He will spit chips!!!!

dear Miss,
When my husband left I got busy and shed 30k naturally out of sheer frustration! He claimed my weight had never been a factor in his decisions. However, you should have seen the look on his face hen I could do pushups with one leg crossed over the other and jog six k daily. Now, for a number of reasons the weight loss did not last and I am a lot older now, but this time I am losing the weight with the sleeve and with someone who will miss the cuddly me.

Not everybody breezes through the sleeve, I had mine a week ago and still feel overly tender and weak. I had a ceasar 13 yrs ago so I may have forgotten, but this feels worse for me. I know that you may not feel you should ask the x to mind the kids so you can look your best, but if the roles were reversed could he ask you for support and how would you feel about it?

If you think it would be a big ask, arrange day care with whomever, and as the other post said you will need help at home, perhaps home help might be an option. Whatever happens you need to have your options open, you certainly shouldn't be lifting the baby, it's hard enough putting on your own socks!!

Some people breeze through the surgery home in 48 hrs and others like me do it tough. But even those who breeze through, don't plan to resume normal duties within the first 2 weeks.

Be kind to yourself you have a lot on your plate, don't be a super mum who ends up in the psych ward. Plan ahead and cover your bases, use all the love and support offfered and weigh up your options, perhaps now is not the best time for surgery? I don't know your circumstances but I wish some love from the universe to help you through this tough time. luv psychomum

I understand.

Um... a good way of NOT letting people know what is happening is to say you have 'women's problems'. Nobody has to know.

gottarhyme - I hear you but I don't really want to rely on him. Things are still fairly raw. I discovered that he had been having an affair for 2.5 year in early Feb and he had no interest in working on our marriage, walking out and leaving me newly back at work, with two young kids, a mortgage and household to run. I do expect him to help but I also don't really want him to know the realy reason for the op. Complicated : )

Lib - I have had 2 elective CS - so I think if I can make it through that then this "should" be easy : ) My mum can help me and my ex can/will help if I ask. It is my little one that I worry about - she is mummy's girl.

Hey Leesa!!

I have had a ceaser. And the sleeve. Obviously. The ceaser was harder. Sarah was 4 when I had my op. I stayed an extra night at my choice. I did just sit on my butt for the first 2 or 3 days home. The recovery is fairly easy.....but I did have family that helped.

I hope that you can find a way to do this for yourself!

And FWIW, I understand your concern. Being newly seperated you are prob still sorting out access and I guess it would be unfair for HIM to expect to take the kids for 2 weeks for you to have a totally optional op.

Excuse me for butting in, and tell me to shut it if I overstep my bounds...I am separated too, my kids were 5 YO twins, an 8 YO and a 12YO. They are all grown now, of course! The eldest is nearly 26! My ex and I have always agreed that we made the babies together, so it is unfair if they become solely MY concern!

Despite the fact that you are separated, your 'ex' is still a father. He is responsible for his kids. You made them together, and even if you are apart, he did not separate from his kids. Simply tell him that he has to care for them for at least part of the time while you are off in hospital. Thats what parents DO. It really annoys me that SOME father's think they can just conveniently forget they have parental obligations!

You will need someone to help you for at least a week after you come home from hospital, as you will be unable to lift, do housework, or cook anything too complicated. Also no DRIVING! So, a Mum or a sister or a good friend (Ask! You will be surprised at the help you will get if you swallow your pride and request it!) staying with you will be a help. You won't be an invalid, but you will not feel well enough a week out to do everything alone, either.

I would say two weeks off work is sound advice.

I hope everything goes well for you, and I know its hard to put things into perspective as a sole parent, but the truth is, those children aren't orphans, they have TWO parents, not one!

Ok I am newly separated and I have a 9 month old and a 4.5 year old. Obviously I am going to need some family support during this time - just trying to work out the ins and outs....

Can you tell me how many days did you spend in hospital?

If you have ever had a csection... how did the op/pain levels compare?

How long do you think you need to have off work?

For those with young kids was it hard to manage?

Thank you
Leesa