I hate her! She's ugly anyway!

First topic message reminder :

Ok, so hubby and I were in Sydney over the long weekend! We dropped the kids off with their grandfather, met up with some friends/family and had a big night out (mainly to celebrate my upcoming operation, and to sAy goodbye to my old body)!

My attitude before was horrible towards 'skinny' girls!!!! "Look what she is wearing', 'she looks ugly in that outfit', 'those jeans make her arse look huge'.... Now i'm sure everyone is thinking oh my god, Paity10 is a bitch, BUT that was just me being jelous of the skinny girls and thinking that there is no way i'd ever look like that!!!! No way would I ever say these comments out loud, it was just me saying these things in my head!

Now i'm not sleeved as yet and i don't get sleeved till August of this year!!!! But when I now see a skinny girl, my attitude has changed in a huge way and i'm more self-conscious about my body and being out in public... ' oh look what she is wearing, i wont if i can wear that when i'm skinny', or 'she's pretty', 'she looks nice in that', instead of all these horrible things going through my head!!!!

Had to confess and wonder if anybody else has said the same things over in their head.. If not, i'll just bow my head in shame.

I don't agree either .. sorry .. With my long hair, I get told I look like I am in my 20's (I'm 37) I know if I cut my hair short, I would look a lot older!
I know people my age and have a short hair cut and they look like they are in their 40's even early 50's...
I guess it depends on the cut and how you wear it. Everybody is different and different hair styles suit different people.

Don't agree with you GR; my opinion long hair makes a lot of people look youger, Carrie included. I look at least ten years younger with long hair; though saying that you are right, dib & drab all the time is not refreshing for anybody.

gottarhyme wrote:

...Long hair makes most of us over 40 look OLDER...

Hey, Fraggle, EXACTLY!

I see women who NEVER change their hairstyle for five-ten years, and it looks so TIRED!

Long hair makes most of us over 40 look OLDER. The same with guys! A good haircut, and a shave, or a bit of deliberate rugged stubble looks great on guys, but so many opt for a style they have been wearing for YEARS!

After we lose weight, we need to treat ourselves, buy our clothes from different shops, and get a flattering hairstyle!

As someone who regularly styles people it kills me that you guys don't know how to dress yourselves stylishly. I just want to take you all shopping and show you how it's done. I've seen the mindset shift between the "old" and "new" versions of themselves in people I've made over and it is incredible how one right outfit can change your life.

Hiya,

Well I'm the kinda person who looks like they have been dressed by a blind person...LMAO No sense of colour or style here. So what I have been doing is when I'm in shops if I see someone who is wearing something I really like I stop and ask them would you mind helping me put colours and style together.....LOL. The ladies I've asked are only too happy to help a color style disabled person.......LOL

Have a great evening everyone.....

Andrea

Interesting topic - and close to home for me as I am now able to wear nicer clothes BUT it is now even more obvious I have no fashion sense whatsoever.
When out and about I spend a lot of time noticing what other people wear and how they put clothes together, what looks good on people with big bottoms, what colours go together etc... It's my new hobby.
I worry that at the mall people think I am a bit of a weirdo or a very rude staring woman.

I wasn't offended either Paity10, just offered my opinion as you asked what others thought.

I agree with Big softie, we all come from different places and experiences and have unique opinions.

No offense taken Paity10!

You can express anything you feel here. Not everyone will have the same opinion but that's what makes us unique!

I am not offended. I love clothing and now I look at 'skinny' ladies and think if I would like to wear something like that. Because I could not wear fun clothing for so many years, I am maybe going overboard these days, but since I get my stuff cheap at Goodwill, so what. As long as we practice not feeling malice towards anyone based on size, nothing wrong with looking and planning.

Zoe

Ok, well obviously i've offended some people in sharing my thoughts. I thought I could come here to share my thoughts/feelings and what is going on in my head and with my up coming surgery. Thank you to everyone who left a comment, whether negative or positive. The last thing I wanted to do was come across as being bitchy, cruel or whatever. I can't help the way I feel, because it's just that, a feeling! Enough Said... Goodluck to everyone who has upcoming surgery and to those who have had it done. I'm sorry to those who have been offended by this post!

I think I have always looked at the skinny girls & wished it was me - I would have liked to be one of those girls that can eat whatever & not put weight on!,

I think at times I have looked at women & what they wear no matter their size & made some comment or thought something negative but as I have become older I now think if they want to wear that or look like that then that is totally their business.

I know a few ladies that have had weight loss surgery & become total bitches! They seem to forget they were once fat. They seem to look down their noses at people and have developed personalities that disregard others. It's almost like "now I am skinny & fit in' that's what matters."

I think people should wear what feels comfortable for them, other people's opinions be damned. Hey, if you don't like it don't look, it's not like you're being forced to dress that way.

Paity10 wrote:

The other day while walking down the main street, I saw a young girl around my age, 30ish, that was a bigger girl, maybe around 100kg who had a tank top on, with a pair of tights and believe me it wasn't pretty!!!!! That immediately turned me off any meal for the rest of the day!

I don't understand why you would talk like that, it seems cruel. If the worse thing that girl does is dress inappropriately for her size, then she's not doing too bad in the big scheme of things.

OK, well, I have never had those jealous thoughts about the 'pretty' girls, I am just not a jealous person.
I am glad that you are/have turned your thoughts around.

I have to agree with you all about 'dressing for your size', but some of the younger ones who get around, honestly I don't think they look in the mirror before they leave the house sometimes.... I dress for my size, well at least i think i do anyway!!!! Jeans, and a top that will cover my belly and 'hanging' belly! The other day while walking down the main street, I saw a young girl around my age, 30ish, that was a bigger girl, maybe around 100kg who had a tank top on, with a pair of tights and believe me it wasn't pretty!!!!! That immediately turned me off any meal for the rest of the day!

The girls I'm talking about, are the pretty girls who do dress for their size, and they look absolutely fantastic and I know they look great, its just me being so insecure about myself because they look great.... Now that I've realized this, my attitude has changed and i now think, that will be me by the end of the year... Or, ' i would love to get to her size'....

I've turned all my 'negative' thoughts into 'positives' !!!!

I am a firm believer in the "Just because it fits it doesn't mean you should wear it" school of thought. Usually when I'm mentally picking a person apart it's to do with what they're wearing, or how they're wearing it. I don't care who you are, tights are not pants and shouldn't be worn as such.

The other day I saw a girl who was probably a size 12-14, wearing low slung tights with her gut and muffin top hanging out, a midriff top from Supre and uggs and I just wanted to say "Do you have any idea how hideous you look?!". The sad thing is she was really pretty and could have looked so much better.

Paity10, I have to agree with Fishy, I don't think it matters how BIG you are, as long as you dress for your size.

I worked in fashion for about 18 years before I completed my teaching degree, and I have dressed women in every size and shape. The most important thing is to dress them so they look lovely. I never sent someone out of my store in something I didn't think looked good on them. Even if it meant losing a sale for being honest! I had a LOT of repeat customers who only came to see me, because they KNEW I wouldn't let them walk out of my shop looking horrible!

I hate seeing tracksuits down the street on large, or small women. To me it looks as if they have given up, and couldn't be bothered to get changed for the day before leaving the house!

I'm not talking 'dressy sweats' I'm talking Woolies own brand trackies. *shudder*

I can become critical of women my age dressing inappropriately for their age. A woman in her late 40's looks really sexy if she wears classic, elegant clothes rather than wearing something her teenage daughter might wear! Thats my little MEAN inner voice, anyway. I hate the mutton-dressed-up-as-lamb look!

As for being jealous of skinny girls, I do get a bit jealous, but if they are dressed really badly and they look a mess...I can live with them being skinny!

I don't think you're mean. Just human!

My friends and I would look at someone skinny and mutter "bitch" to each other ..
Whole big change coming up for us about to be sleeved, you're right fishyoutofwater, we have not only a physical but also a psychological journey ahead of us.

I can't say that I had those thoughts Paity10, but it is good that you have recognised them for what they were and you have been changing the way you view people.
The most I have ever said/thought is about no matter you size, you can always dress nicely...or not, and this is true of size 8,10,20,26,32 whatever.
Those of us who are very overweight have a long journey ahead, not only physically with the sleeve, but psychologically as well to get our heads used to our new way of life.
Good luck.

Ok, so hubby and I were in Sydney over the long weekend! We dropped the kids off with their grandfather, met up with some friends/family and had a big night out (mainly to celebrate my upcoming operation, and to sAy goodbye to my old body)!

My attitude before was horrible towards 'skinny' girls!!!! "Look what she is wearing', 'she looks ugly in that outfit', 'those jeans make her arse look huge'.... Now i'm sure everyone is thinking oh my god, Paity10 is a bitch, BUT that was just me being jelous of the skinny girls and thinking that there is no way i'd ever look like that!!!! No way would I ever say these comments out loud, it was just me saying these things in my head!

Now i'm not sleeved as yet and i don't get sleeved till August of this year!!!! But when I now see a skinny girl, my attitude has changed in a huge way and i'm more self-conscious about my body and being out in public... ' oh look what she is wearing, i wont if i can wear that when i'm skinny', or 'she's pretty', 'she looks nice in that', instead of all these horrible things going through my head!!!!

Had to confess and wonder if anybody else has said the same things over in their head.. If not, i'll just bow my head in shame.