Being told not to loose any more weight....

chrisbychic wrote:

Well...you can tell the hospital that you've told over 1000 people now - us!!!

Now that's thinking!

Well...you can tell the hospital that you've told over 1000 people now - us!!!

Very interesting thread.

1) The hospital that is doing my surgery is almost insisting I tell 3 people. Well I have a long term sweetie (6 years together but not married) and he knows. Otherwise I want it to remain mine. I've tried explaining to them twice that my circle of friends all know each other. If I pick even 1, they will all know within a week. A couple of them I love. They are my dear friends. But I know human nature and even if it's just from a "wink wink", they will tell. I do not understand why this is being treated any differently than any other medical condition which would be protected as private by law.

2) Great come backs. I want to remember the response "do you also want to know my age" because I know from past experience that they will ask how much I've lost. I don't think anyone would have the nerve to tell me to stop losing.......or I can't imagine that being an issue for at least 2 or 3 years. I love reading these things here. I check where the poster hails from. It's nice to know that tact is apparently lost on a worldwide basis.

Shifty

Wow, there are some great comments here..... and so so very true!!

I only told the older 2 of my four kids, as I felt the younger 2 (14 & 12) would be more likely to spill the beans to people I would rather not know about it.

I chose not to tell my work colleagues, but had no choice but to tell my boss as I required the time off work and she was more like a friend to me, so I felt I could trust her...... hah - funny how peoples attitudes towards you change when you weigh less than them.

pf337 - fantastic post - couldn't agree more!
Choose who you tell very carefully indeed!

I also get asked in mixed company how much weight I have lost - and you know what, it is ALWAYS only by the people that I know now know that I had this op - never by those who 'just know me as a sorta friend' .......... *sigh* very embarrasing indeed!

I agree with you totally pf337.
I havent, and won't, tell anyone from my work. They are all very opinionated and I just don't need any extra stress. Maybe once I reach goal I will contemplate telling them but to be honest is just isn't any of their business.
I have told a few of my friends but not all of them. There was one friend in particular that I thought would be a little more encouraging, as she is the same weight as I am (oops was LOL) and asked me how I would cope by not eating Christmas Lunch ever again. Strange comment but thats coz she doesn't know anything about the sleeve.
I wasn't going to tell my dad and stepmum but I am so glad I did. They have been really supportive and have read up on the Sleeve on the internet and also found an article in some health magazine.
I think (and this is my opinion) that unless you are a really strong personality and can handle all the snyde remarks about surgery being the EASY option etc then choose who you tell carefully.
Why do people feel the need to tell others to Lose Weight or Stop Losing Weight!!!!

I am so sorry your co-workers said those things. For those who have not been sleeved, this brings up a great thought. Think long and hard about who should be in or out of the loop. After reading many post over this past year......Many people can be mean. We only need supportive people to know our business. Think about who will be the happiest for you and who has something to gain from this. For me, when people say something about my weight now, I take it as a positive comment because I understand they have no idea. Many people are not really happy for anyone unless they have something in common like US........Thin people feel they now have some type of competition. Heavy people feel we have betrayed them by joining the other side. I told my husband, two daughters (16 and 20 at the time of surgery) and my best friend. When I told my best friend, she started on me about....you are not that fat and I said before you start I need you to understand that I am gona do this and I am only telling you this because I need you to be positive and supportive. I let her know how important she was to me, and besides my hubby and two girls, she was the only one I could trust and she almost cried. We r very close. She is thin but very tall. I was very heavy and short. I now weigh less than her but our body types are very very different. Please think long and hard before you spill the beans…..You can always tell people later but once you tell them they have that information for life. Another problem, that we face, is people wanting to know how much we have lost. I have had women (women from my husbands office and spouses of my hubands co workers at social events) come right out and ask in mixed company, how much have u lost. I laugh and look at them and say do you want me to tell you my age also. Point being....You rude women, there are somethings you should not ask people. After a few silent moments I will say, I really have not lost much but I am glad you noticed. Dieting is hard dont u agree. Those skinny women now have the ball in their court and we all know they have to diet to stay so thin. I reread all of this before I hit send......It sounds as though I am mad at the world....I promise I am not. I guess seeing the world from two sets of glasses, has really opened my eyes.....hahaha

its funn i ave heard for so many years to lose weight do exercise blah blah blah and when u start losing people then think they can comment again... bout losing to much weight (hmmm sleevers dont have to much choice to regain weight and the whole reason we had to op in the first place) and we look hagged.. hmmm maybe cause we have nice thin shapes coming thru not the bloated look.....


jane

Can also relate very well to people teling me Ive lost enough and ill be to haggard, well ill be the judge of that, I spent far to much time listening to or worrying what other people thought of me and even then I was still unhappy and now im happy I couldnt care less what people thought of me.... x Jodi

OMG what a fantastic answer. I am sitting here is a fit of the giggles cause of it. fantastic.... i would like to use that one day or if it is someone who is being "bitchy" then to adapt it to I wont lose any more weight if you pull ur head out of ur bum!


Jane

I would just turn around and go... yes I made a smart decision to improve my health......
Don't you just love it when people think they can publically say things.....
I was only telling a few people to start off with and even asked admin to take a photo off of the gallery in case people recognised me... now I feel more comfortable and am telling everyone as I know that I have made the right decision for me, my life and my health!
I feel it is not worth trying to hide it as it is our life our body we can do what we think is best for us and our family! No one elses opinions matter.....

Relle that would make me so mad. Enough to probably turn around and ask them in front of the person, "who gives you the right to publicize MY personal life?"

I'm getting that a bit now as well - I now weigh around 20 kilos less than most of the women in my office and when people comment on how good I'm looking, they either change the subject or rush over to inform them that I am not a saint, but that I in fact had surgery............... I don't tell people as a rule (if they don't already know), as I figure it is my business.... not theirs, so it bothers me that they feel it is ok for them to tell people.

I think it's a jealousy thing as well, and no........ I may not have been a saint to get to this weight now, but I was damn brave in taking the steps I did to acheive it!!

Good answer though........... I will have to remember that one!! lol

im in the same club...
I have people saying to me quite often "your not still losing are you" i say no i have been around this weight give or take a kg for the past 6 months. geeeezzzz it annoys me.

But the comment i love ( or hate ) the most is dont lose anymore or you will look too haggard or drawn.....lol

OMG that is funny....

Im sure that its a jealousy thing hey... One day i hope i get to say that to someone LOL...

ROFLMHO at this one! Yes, I have also been told not to lose any more! I'm still about 16kg overweight, though, and people are surprised when I tell them that.
Of course if I had all the excess skin removed, along with the fat that clings to it, I reckon I'd be right where I should be - better check that lotto ticket, eh? LOL
Hugs
Chris

Would you believe that it has already happened to me and I am still 92oddkgs and particularly with slimmer people. Although I have lost heaps and I am reasonably happy and it is now a very very slow losing program, I still do need to loose more (75 is my goal). I still look in the mirror and see chubby and pot belly (actually I look in the mirror seeing myself chubby now and when I was bigger thinking I wasn't too bad - the denial factor I guess). Maybe I am a threat somehow, who knows???????????? But still, generally those people have been very very supportive and have given me quite a lot of praise, so I guess I can't complain too much.

Am hoping it happens to me!!!

Yeah I have had that too. Unfortunately my body has decided they are right

Oh yes...........don't you remember............you are starting to look haggard line

Lol ... Good come back ... Bet she wasnt impressed ....


Jo :)

Well said!

LOL I will have to remember that one.