Please don't become like me. A warning for all.

Scaredbutgettingcommitted wrote:

Thank you Claire for writing this post and everyone else for sharing their stories! I have just made my GP appointment for a referral to a surgeon but already I know that I will have to see a psych or someone prior to surgery and probably at some point afterwards to manage my food addictions and portion distortion issues. 

Sugar is the main addiction I struggle with...and a gateway drug I find to other crap. I have managed to "successfully" get off sugar completely by myself twice in the past year, unfortunately it really is an addiction for me and once I cave once it is like a tsunami of cravings almost immediately. I have managed to mostly avoid going back to it in the form of everyday foods - my biggest weaknesses though are the worst ones - chocolate, dessert, ice-cream :( 

Hello, i would recommend getting started with a pyschologist sooner rather than later. All those foods you say are your biggest weakness are all the easy ones to consume post operation. So, even if you have the op, you can get stuck into them really soon after surgery.

Thank you Claire for writing this post and everyone else for sharing their stories! I have just made my GP appointment for a referral to a surgeon but already I know that I will have to see a psych or someone prior to surgery and probably at some point afterwards to manage my food addictions and portion distortion issues. 

Sugar is the main addiction I struggle with...and a gateway drug I find to other crap. I have managed to "successfully" get off sugar completely by myself twice in the past year, unfortunately it really is an addiction for me and once I cave once it is like a tsunami of cravings almost immediately. I have managed to mostly avoid going back to it in the form of everyday foods - my biggest weaknesses though are the worst ones - chocolate, dessert, ice-cream :( 

My biggest concern about the surgery apart from the not waking up nightmare that has been hanging around for a few weeks is that it might not work for me, that I will manage to sabotage myself like I have in the past when I have given up through seeing no results. I know that is unlikely to happen although I am finding that the stress of making the decision to look into surgery has left me headed for the confectionary isle far too often in the last month. 

The saving grace (almost) is that half the time the thought of even calling my PHI to check I am covered and asking the Dr for a referral makes me so nauseas I can't eat what I've bought half the time :/

It really has been a crazy month. I am hoping that once I have the referral and have seen the surgeon and hopefully get the not waking up fear dealt with I will have reached my tipping point with the crap food and go back to my normal diet. 

I wish you all luck with your journeys xo

FTF and kas-rock,

Thank you for sharing also.

I too have this addiction, and I know I need to take it really seriously now.

Good luck to us all!

Thank you, Claire

Thank you for sharing your story!

The addictions can be so powerful .... and so destructive.

I battled one addiction 9 years ago (and earlier), I have been free of that  now (for 8.5 years), had plenty of support for that.

In 2014 I got addicted to chocolate, and sweet, fatty, comfort foods. My thyroid disease also had a part in my making my weight balloon massively.

I am only 7 weeks post op, and so far chocolate made me sick, but I am concerned that with time, this may not happen, and I'll be able to eat chocolate without bad effects ....

My worst sweet cravings times are late in the evening or night.

I have the allowed sweet food, but I don't want to go back to the bad habits later on.

I see my team's psychologist and dietician, regularly at this stage.

I considered going to OA (Overeaters Anonymous). I have some of their literature on my iPad Kindle. I'll go back to daily readings, as they deal with the emotions, head hunger and of course the demon addiction.

I too was hoping that the WLS would be the answer, but as you said, it is a Tool.
Without change of thoughts, habits, actions all this hard and expensive surgery/recovery may go to hell, if not careful.

Good luck and best wishes in your journey, Claire

Hi Claire

Thank you for sharing your story. I haven't had WLS yet. But I have been thinking about addiction to food and post op life. Your story is definitely a warning that it is not a cure all, which I am sure many of us are hoping for. Best wishes.

Claire,
Thank you so much for your heart wrenching post. And also Fat to Fit. I'm in your boat with food addiction/ head addiction so have taken your words seriously. Already I'm feeling its a battle and I'd hoped that wouldn't be so soon. Your honesty has helped me to face a reality that I've not understood before now. That the band (previous success) and now the sleeve are just tools. I hate facing up to this as I wanted it to be more than that. I just don't know how to say no to the things that comfort me - its a long time habit. I've had counselling on and off for this but have yet to see results or maybe I'm just so much in denial. My problem is like yours...... capacity for more food than I need! And I've ALWAYS made sure I feel full as I get anxious if I'm not. My psychiatrist believes I'm rebellious and seem to sabotage myself so there's lots to work on.
Anyway, I can't thank you both enough as it has been a real wake up call. Something just clicked when I read your stories. 
If you are up to it, it would be great to hear more from you.......

Oh, Claire, I'm so sorry to hear that it's been such a struggle for you, but at the same time THANK YOU for posting - today of all days ! I am only 5 months post op, have lost all of my excess weight and more, I've always done  a lot of exercise, but I am a terrible chocoholic, who has, unfortunately, not lost the taste for chocolate post sleeve. This past week I've been pretty bad with snacking on chocolate, and today, I ate an egg & banana 'pancake' with yoghurt & a couple of raspberries for breakfast, and after that, ALL I've eaten is chocolate....and a small pack of m&ms ...yeah, more chocolate . My capacity to eat seems to have increased significantly in the past few weeks, I'm turning to chocolate automatically and I'm so scared of regaining., which I realise is inevitable if I continue with the choices I'm making. I know I have a massive problem with chocolate, I am very much an addict - a perfectly intelligent person who has read every available book on the evils of sugar, and the merits of a paleo style diet (which I would LOVE to adopt, but just can't seem to!) but one who is unable to break the addiction cycle. I have been to the GP a& have my mental health plan, but have been waiting on a call back from a different bariatric practice, as I didn't 'love' the psych at the clinic i went to, but after reading your post, I think I just need to go to someone sooner rather than later. Thanks for sharing, and all the best to you as you continue on your journey.

I have decided to share my story - both as a warning to all, and because I feel I need to say what is locked deep inside. 
I had gastric sleeve surgery 22 of Dec 2014. I weighed 150kgs (330 pounds) and I'm 172 cms (5.7 feet) in height and for the first week weeks / months I lost weight, every second of everyday. So I didn't really think about what I was eating as I'd always kinda eaten healthy; I was just an over eater and an emotional eater.
Everything was going amazingly for the first 6-8 months. I'd lost 50 kgs (110pounds) and I felt incredible. 
My favourite food in the world has always been iced coffee and I was still drinking it everyday and still loosing weight - it my idea of heaven 😎 and then it happened.... 
I'd stopped losing weight. I was only 8 months out and I stalled...... I stalled for 4 months!! Then I started to gain weight😵 I gained 8 kgs (17.6 pounds) over 2 months and my mental state went down hill so fast; I stated telling myself things like: I was a failure. I was nothing. I was useless. I'd failed. I might as well stand I front of a moving train because obviously I'll never be able to achieve anything... You get the point... Not helpful stuff.
Until I decided - being a mildly intelligent human being - that maybe I needed help and to get back to basics. 
So I made an appointment to see my GP (family doctor) who made me a appointment with a psychologist and I reconnected with my dietician and surgeon. I joined the gym and have gone back to walking 10,000 steps a day.

The TOOL you have been given or about to receive; DON'T for a single second think it is the answer to all your problems or a one stop fix. 
18 months since surgery and these days I can eat / drink 250- 300 mils (0.6 pint) which means I can eat a large family block of chocolate in one sitting and not feel sick. I can eat an entire box of cheezels and not feel a thing; no pain no nothing. I can drink a cup coffee from the shop and still be looking for something to eat because I have the room and am hungry. 
The reason for me writing this today, and if you're still with me, is the bit I wish someone had told me. 
Do EVERYTHING your surgeon and dietician tells you to do. Seek help for any mental conditions you have - over eaters, emotional eating - and work through these issues from the very beginning and be kind to yourself.
Think of giving up food habits like quitting smoking or any other kind of drugs - you are an addict and everyone falls off the wagon often until their will power wins the war. But it is a life long battle. 
Best of luck with your journey and I pray for your sake, your journey is an easier one than mine. Xxx