Out to dinner with friends that don’t know (3 week post op)

I had my sleeve done over 12 months ago and have and still do go out to many dinners (even been on holidays with people) and just say I am watching what I now eat, small portions etc.

No one has ever queried me and I have always enjoyed going out to dinners etc. People get used to you having smaller portions and just accept your new ways of eating - especially when they see your weight loss results.

Good luck, you can live normally without anyone who you don't want to know about the sleeve finding out - most of my family still have no idea and I want to keep it that way!

Yup, like shelly says... enjoy the socialising! you will find that food isnt the central part of it for you and it will probably feel different! If you're eating out with your curry I found palak paneer (or other paneer/cheese dishes) good when meat still wasn't sitting well.

You really don't even have to comment on it. When someone I knew who had already lost weight (after band surgery) and was barely eating 3 spoonfulls off her plate, you could see the looks on people faces.. they totally noticed and you know it but a lot of people wont comment.. I don't know if it was because of jealousy or if they werent sure or maybe they just werent sure how to bring it up.. either way don't comment on it unless someone else brings it up. =]
Hope you enjoy seeing your friends again,
Gretchen.

Eating out is a problem for awhile after the op, but I think missing out of events is not good.We still have to enjoy other parts of life even if it is going out for dinner but its the socializing thats more important than the food.

its a matter of planning ahead for questions without the need to reveal your surgery if youve chosen not too.

Many 'diets' say to eat healthy stuff before you go out so you could also say I ate a meal that i prepared

for myself before i came so i can monitor my food intake.

just have an action plan ready and go and enjoy yourself!!

shelly

Thanks Isis,
I will try that approach and chew my meat extra well so I don't have to mush it first. Ive told my husband to only half fill his plate and then to secretly swap with mine when he had finished. Then it would look like I was eating normally.

I know I am probably worrying unnecessarily and it is just one of those emotional hurdles I will have to over come. Further down the track when I am at or near my goal and have successfully maintained it I will tell people.

Bev

The other thing I did when I went out for curry not long post-sleeve is say that I was staying away from carbs, so I didn't have any rice. I then just had my curry and ate a lot of the liquid first (cos that didn't take up space and took time to consume so I wasn't sitting around) then I ate what I could of the meat. It worked well and nobody raised any eyebrows... they just believed me when I said I was on a diet.

Thanks so much for your advice! You have all given me food for thought.

I am really freaking out over this and have been considering pulling out of the dinner but my husband really wants to go so I guess I’ll just have to go along.

I am just not emotionally up to justifying my actions to people who are experts on diet, health and fitness. The prospect is very scary.

I may just go with the diet story and hope they don’t notice me mushing up my curry and rice.

Ta again
Bev

I am with the others, for info if you feel you need to teel people you had surgery of some description say that you had a hiatus hernia repair, that's what I will tell people if I feel backed into a corner.

My husband had this done a few years ago and even though he did not need to lose weight he lost 18kgs as his esophagus was so tender after surgery. People who know us seen what he had done and i have always had reflux so not too much of a stretch so hope that does not bring too many questions.

Good luck whatever you decide to say.

AJ

I think you answered your own question without knowing it. "[their flippant comments - “just don’t eat so much”, “all you have to do is exercise”]" Don’t want to lie to them but I tell them "I took to heart what you guys have said before and I am not eating very much and with some exercise I hope it works; as it has been for the few weeks of late".

just say your watching your food intake and because your portions are smaller your stomach must have shrunk so your not eating much lol! its not a lie!!!



shelly

I totally get why you dont want to tell them about the surgery . (I hate having to justify my decisions )

What you could say is that I am on a diet and want to give it a really ,really ,really good go. Back it up with the info that it takes 12 weeks to change any pattern of behaviour (or so i have been told) . Tell them that you are 5 weeks in and are doing exceptinally well in changing diet and behaviours and dont want to sabotage the process. This will give you at least another 7 weeks before you get asked again.

Ok you had surgery but you are truthfully changing your way of eating (yes you are ..to smaller).Suggest a catchup and coffee instead



Not lying just streeetching the truth !

You could say you have had stomach surgery and are on a restricted diet for a couple of weeks more?

I haven't told any of my in-laws and am planning on saying for the foreseeable future that the surgery stole my appetite!

I just say I'm on a diet... you clearly aren't eating much and you are losing weight, so it's working.

When I was on pre-op diet I said I had gallstones and so couldn't eat anything with sugar or fat. I hate lying, but my life is filled with nosy ppl who wouldn't understand and I couldn't cope with being gossiped about and ppl just waiting for me to fail, so I only told my family and about 8 close friends.

We have been invited to a friend’s home for a very informal curry night/ get together. I have made excuses for the last 2 months from the start of my pre op diet and how feel I have to go.

All these people are good friends many of who we have traveled with over the years but I chose not to tell them about my surgery. I know they will not understand as they are all very fit – with no weight problems and have been known for their flippant comments - “just don’t eat so much”, “all you have to do is exercise” (you all know the comments I mean). I don’t want to lie to them but I know there will be questions and I don't feel ready for any negativity.

Has anyone been in this situation and if so how did you handle it?

Bev