menopause..at wits end...any suggestions please?

Interesting question mamacoops.

Funny thing is, my weight loss stopped at almost the same time as my monthlies stopped just over 12 months ago. I have been going through perimenopause the last 12 months, hot flashes, etc etc (Im 49 turning 50 this year - so timing wise that is pretty normal). At first I took promensal (concentrated red clover) but due to its expense switched to a less concentrated red clover. Recently the hot flashes were getting worse and I then I ran out of red clover, so decided to see what would happen if I stopped. Well the hot flashes seemed to have decreased in frequency but have not gone completely. and OMG after some fun on the weekend, I seem to have got a fully fledged monthly. Thought I was through the perimenopause stage (given it has been 12 months with no monthlies, just the odd spotting every now and again).
You have certainly given me some food for thought. Perhaps that is why my weight loss stopped, or it could have been the normal stopping at 70% excess weight loss. Im not sure. I heading to my surgeon tomorrow with mum (her appointment, not mine), but I might ask him the question. Anyway it does seem to be coincidental. Maybe my hormones have played a major role in the weight loss stop. And I do remember during the first 12 months after surgery, my weight loss was tied in with my monthlies. No more monthlies, no more weight loss. hmmmmmmmm

I went through menopause at age 38. I am now 49.

I have had four kids, and lucky for me, I didn't want more. The Doctor put me on a mini pill (birth control) to regulate my period, and suggested I stay on it for a while. It did help, but it made me gain weight. I have NEVER been good with 'the pill' in that regard.

You may be different, and it is worth a try.

The Doc tried me on hormone patches, and they seemed to work, at least for a year I had no hot flushes and I was able to care for my kids, and complete a university degree without going totally insane after my husband left me for the 10 years younger bimbo!

However, one day I couldn't afford the script, so I went off hormones cold turkey. The flushes didn't return, and either did my period, but the moods and headaches did. So I went to the chemist and tried red clover.
It worked with the remaining headache and moody symptoms for me. I went of that a few years back, as I couldn't afford it.

Over the last 6 years or so, I have had no symptoms, or maybe I am just used to being cranky and moody, so its me now

I don't seem to have aged as much as I thought I would. Most people never guess I'm 49. I am not ashamed of my age, but I look at others I work with who are ten years younger who look way older than me!

Good genes I suppose. My Mum is still a stunning woman at 68, who looks like she's a well preserved 55 YO.

I did notice some weird chin hair that I pluck out occasionally! The kind that sneak up on you, and grow an inch a day until you are putting your moisturiser on one morning and run your fingers over it!


It's thick and coarse, and has no business being there! Lord! Why doesn't someone TELL ME????



Anyway, apart from that, I am keeping dowager's hump at bay, and although I have a predilection for black clothes, and can look like an Italian widow who lost her husband in the last war, I am just getting on with my life. Being menopausal is sort of liberating. No more babies! No more messy periods! Woo Hoo!~

Hey...
was hoping to pick your brains... I am, once again, in the middle of a nasty stall... pesky thing!!
Since the end of Jan I have lost 3lb and managed to put those back on... I am bouncing between 183 and 186lb and can't budge below! Yes I am frustrated... anyway, I digress.
I have a very irregular cycle, and I am now something like 75 days late... I started to get symtoms; hot flashes, headaches/migranines, extreme tiredness, emotional (ending in tears, which is NOT like me). Doc took bloods, that have come back showing the female hormones out of synch and suggesting early menopause. I am currently 39 ( symptoms started Nov - Dec 10) will be 40 very soon.

My question is ... do you think that the hormone change has effected my weight loss... has it happened to you?
How has your weight loss been since you've been sleeved?

Not sure if it is related, coincidence or am I looking for an excuse?

Oh, I am following my post op diet still and exercising too... I am just over 8mths post op!

Thanks in advance...

Too true
Its messed up isnt it.

I was a foster parent for years before I had my kids. Handing children back to yet another druggie or mental patient to destroy for the uptenth time is not going to happen for me again. Here in Perth the preadoptive babies all go to just 1 woman who has done it for more than 20 years. I would do pre adoptive in a heartbeat.

I washed my hands of department when they handed back the 5 year old and her 3 year old I had since babies to their mother because they decided at 5 the oldest one could become her mothers carer and hand out her phyiciatric medications, and in turn care for her little sister.

I am so not an isolated case, Halyey who started this site had just such a nightmare time with the department. It is heartbreaking.

applesauce

Apple
fostering babies could be an option!!!
its a rewarding role,the only thing is sometimes you do have to give them back
but its a thought!!
shelly

I so wanted more babies, I always planed on a dozen of them but 10 years of infertility treatment then twins kinda put things on hold again and again with the cost of going back for more. I had to admit in May turning 45 that it was time to give up that dream and wait for the grandbabies to come along. It really was a sad day and I joe with my family when I see abandonded babies on tv why oh why dont they drop it on my door step I would step over it and say ooooooops it just feel out must be mine hehehe. I have to have a sense of humor to stop the gawd I want one so bad.

applesauce

Oh don't cry my dear. But I know that thinking "if only" or "what if" is hard to stop.

I had twins at the age of 24, and they are the light of my life and have produced 3 wonderful grand babies so far. But I would have loved to have had a second pregnancy (the first one was so much work I didn't really get a chance to enjoy it). But my DH didn't want any more and it does take 2 - I wasn't prepared to have an "accident" and it is probably just as well - although I would have liked a son.

I'm sure you wouldn't have stuffed up bringing up another baby any more than you stuffed up bringing up your son. Your kids desert you between the ages of 18-28 or so, then they seem to grow up and start acting like adults - well in my opinion anyway. So you'll just have to wait a little while.

My relationship with my girls went to another level once they became mothers - they suddenly realised what was involved and started to appreciate me more.

I was sad when I had a tubal ligation in my 30s and sad when I went through the "change", but life goes on and it is what it is.

Hugs
Caz

No not silly at all. I always wanted 2 or 3 children, but alas, only had the one as a single mum, raised him all alone and only now that he is 24 do I have a man in my life (only just moved in this week) and it is way too late for me to have more now at 48 and perimenopausal (nadda red friend now for 5 months except a bit of occasional spotting). But haven't greived yet, ie cried, well I don't think so, well maybe I have. Anyway, all I can do now is wait for the grandbabies. Actually having a bit of a tear now cause I'm thinking about it. Always wanted a daughter as well and ended up with an only son who is headstrong, been in trouble, can be an a....., hates my bf (bf doesn't like him much either for that matter), can be disrespectful, trashed my house, etc etc etc etc etc etc. But love him anyway of course, cause he is my son and he does love me too (just doesn't show it that often). omg. yep definitely have a tear now. OH DEAR. Maybe it is just as well I only had one, cause I think I stuffed that one up anyway.

Oh, hey, not silly at all! I remember when my biological clock was ticking down and a friend was pregnant, and I just sat and cried because I wanted another baby too - even though we'd already decided it wasn't what we'd wanted!
A shame you weren't pre-warned, though...

Thank you Chris, I really would wish that my early menopause is temporary, the effects on reduced estrogen production on the skin alone have me crossing my fingers & hoping it lasts as much longer as possible, but unfortunately early menopause runs in my family (my mother's response when I broke the news to her... "Oh, I suppose I should've told you, I guess I'd better tell your sister too") Apparently it is a pattern in my family to start menopause in the late thirties & for it to last 8-10 years before full stop. Usually in the mid to late fourties. I am coming up 43 now & am hoping to get my full two years of primary weight reduction during the period when my body is still producing reasonable levels of estrogen & therefore retaining significant skin elasticity. Pure vanity I know, but I simply cannot afford surgery to nip & tuck any excess skin so do wish to minimise it as much as possible. I never thought in my life that I would reach a time when I was wanting to keep on getting periods, but I really do. My Dr put me on Progesterone to try & impose some regularity, but it had no effect & I refuse to go on hormone replacement therapy, or even the pill (since I always get fat on the pill it would be rather counterproductive).
I do have to say though, to discover at 41 that my biological clock really was on it's last legs & it would not be long before I would not be able to have anymore children was much more of a shock that i would've thought. Both of my children are with my first husband & my current hubby & I had been together 4 years at the time & were talking a bit about having a child, weighing up the pros & cons. My age (& his) being one of them of course. It was still just an idea at that stage, then suddenly it was a 'now or never' issue. And to have a child simply because I wouldn't be able too soon, when we hadn't even decided if it was right for us.... It is silly to discover that I am still so sad over it 2 years on :(

Well took the Promensil for about a month, and not sure if it worked or not, but think the hot flushes did subsidea bit. However, I ran out about 2 weeks ago and now hot flushes definietly here again. so maybe it was working. will have to get some more but quite expensive $35 for one month supply (hence why I haven't bought anymore, no cash. :<( ).

Bugger bugger bugger!
Just typed out a big long reply and then pressed the wrong button and lost it all!!!
Okay, so in short:
http://www.menopausecentre.com.au is a free menonpause clinic which will do telephone doctor consultations and prescribe natural supplements based on your results.
In my late 30s, I went through something similar and went to a menopause clinic then, after the GP was no help at all, where I learned that we all have a major hormone shift around that age, and it's like a pre-menopause (although yes, some people do go through early menopause). It can reverse things for you, eg if you've always had PMS you might not have it afterwards, and vice versa (which was me!). After a year or so it went away for me, and was a very good indication of what menopause is like for me now.
However, I've had good results from a product called Harmony Q, bought at the discount vitamin store, but I've seen it at some chemists too.

Yeah, I'd had the symptoms for 5 years before I found out I'm going through an early menopause. It never even occured to me before because who starts menopause at 37-8? But my Doctor has put me on melantonin which has an incredible effect (I forget how incredible it is until every so often I run out & it only takes a couple of days for the effects to disappear).
It took a couple of weeks of taking it before the effects had 'built up' but once there it is amazing, My hot flushes are down to short flashes on specific areas (like suddenly spilling a cup of tea down your leg or wherever) and only last a few seconds, the insomnia is almost gone, & some of the more unpleasant effects (particularly the urinary urgency which had me in a real panic when I was sitting my exams 2 years ago) are gone altogether. In New Zealand it is available on prescription, but is not subsidised. & it can also be found in small amounts in some herbal treatments, particularly those for insomnia I believe.
I take it once daily before going to bed & I love it.

I have seen Promensil work well for some people (and not do much for others..). Maybe worth a try.

So over the hot flushes and the downer feelings (last weekend just sucked, but other stuff going on as well, so who knows), so got myself some Promensil (made from Red Clover I believe) from the chemist on Saturday. The packet says may take 3 weeks before it kicks in, but will let you all know how it goes.

Hi Sue, I tried Remifemin and several other ones from the chemist. Sadly they didn't help.I carry a fan around too. I feel like an old geriatric though. LOL. Got a neat sented one in Thailand a few years ago..my friends laughed at me cos I'd have to get it out every night even though we were in a nicely airconditioned hotel. (older friend had about 8mths of very mild hot flushes so not at all understading...cool, unruffled wench) The other friend started going out in sympathy with me so she wasn't a happy camper & soon stopped her laughing!

Yeah Gail, we do have to live with them *siiiigh* The things we women have to put up with!
Luckily my moods are pretty stable. I really dont want HRT either but if I could perhaps use it like Alex I would. I'm so sick of sweaty heads & a swimming pool between my boobs! What is Transfer Factor? I'd love a pep up!!!!

Hi,
Me too, however I don't worry about it so much anymore. The hot flushes are just something that I live with, the chemist stuff does nothing for me and I won't take HRT.

Started taking Transfer Factor about 4 months ago and it gave me such a fantastic energy boost that the other side effects just don't worry me too much any more.

Good luck with it.
Hugs Gail

Meopause is that pits wat i use is Remifemin you can buy it the chemist does me a treat i will have minor flushes at times but the major ones have all gone i know a few others who use it as well and it works for them

Goodluck in finding somethig to work for you i found within a few days i stopped having major hot flushes i used to carry a hand helf fan in my bafg to help me cool but i dont need it anymore

hugs

You have my sympathies, going through the dreaded menopause myself atm, and the hot flushes are a pain in the butt. Boyfriend doesn't know whether to cover me up and snuggle cause im cold or push me away cause Im burning up. OMG what a pain in the a.....s. Not keen on going onto HRT myself and am considering some natural remedies, will let you know how this goes once I have some money to purchase them. Mood wise though not too bad other than being vague as and finding it really hard to focus on work etc and get really tired too. Not grumpy as such, but quite emotional at times.

Hi Alex& Apple,

Alex, I made an appointment this arv to see a specialist mid June. A woman I only work with maybe once in 6 mths was on today & the subject came up cos I kept fanning myself. She said this specialist gave her a script for a cream that has worked wonders for her. So maybe it's something like you use. God I hope so!!!! Sounds good that you only have to use it for a few days. My Dr hasn't been terribly helpful with a few things lately & has been absolutely woeful re DD's PCOD so maybe I just need a new Dr. Shame cos I've known him for so long & he used to be so caring. Think he's burnt out. DD has found herself a lovely female Dr so is a lot happier.

Apple, I have tried the whole tablet...no luck. The pill made me homicidal some years back. Cuda killed anyone who looked at me sideways. Because I cant get in to the specialist for a month (which I know in the grand scheme of things isn't very long) I'm going to ph a naturopath tomorrow and see what she can suggest. Fingers crossed.

Thanks so much for your replies.

Three suggestions tho how little help they might be. First talk to your doctor about upping the dose to a whole tablet if you do not get any side effects from the half you are on now. See if the increased dose gives you enough time to get though the worst of it.

Try a naturalpath, now it will no where be as good as HRT but it will be better than the over the counter chemist stuff. I have seen it work amazing things for some woman and I have to admit total failure for others. But seeing you are pulling your hair out it may be worth a shot.

Third idea if HRT is out of the question then how about the pill , again I have no idea if that presents a problem in those doses for you and migraines. but I do know for some women it masks or reduces the symptoms of menepause until they have passed.

I fear tho you have either tried or ruled out all that I mentioned but I did want to say something incase you had missed any of those.

applesauce

Oh you poor dear thing!

I too, am going through the dreaded meno, but dont have anywhere near your issues with it. I personally wouldn't touch HRT and resisted it from my Dr over and over. However, I could not get a clear Pap smear done because it was contaminated all the time and had to be re-done/re-done over and over, so I accepted some cream from my Dr. I had to use the cream for a week pre pap smear in order to settle my system down. It worked a treat and as a side effect, I found that I was meno symptom free for months afterwards. Every three or four months, I use it again for a couple of days and I feel much better. It is a hormone cream but I found that it was great for use in short bursts. Maybe you could talk to your Dr about it.

Best of luck,

Alex

I dont usually whinge or like talking about my problems BUT I feel like I'm fast approaching my wits end. I feel absolutely drained, tired all the time and am getting REAL irritable
(even with the furkids). I cant even pay attention to the patients when they talk to me if I'm having a hot flush. Not good.

I'd love to rip my clothes off and stand in a freezer and have told people at work if I arrive with a bald head I will have had a menopause moment & shaved it. Even though I have short hair my head gets so hot & sweaty!

I've been having hot flushes for 5 years, have tried different things from the chemist to no avail; Doc wont hear of me going on HRT (that's how desperate I've become) because I get migraines.
I was put on 1/2 an SSRI antidepressant Nov '08 as it has been found in many cases SSRIs have been helping some people enormously with PMT and hot flushes. This worked wonders until Jan this year.

On a bad day I'll have a power surge every 15 mins , especially if I'm really busy at work, and I wake about 20 times a night to fling the covers off then pull em up again. On a good day it's probably every 1/2 hr to an hr between surges & wake about 8 times a night. Even the furkid wont sleep on the bed anymore. Argh!

Can anyone suggest anything that may help?

luv from The Crabby Hot B%tch