Nervous Newbie - is there negative personality/emotional issues?

Surgery is not "easy" for anyone, don't let people take away from the positive steps taken to improve your life.
I find I am more cheerful and happier with the weight loss, maybe due to less pain in the knees, etc. People do seem to be friendlier now maybe due to a smile on my face instead of a scowl.
I still fear gaining the weight back and have forced myself to say thank you when someone comments on my weight loss, instead of the way I used to reply with "oh I still have so much more to lose".

Although I am a much more confident person now I still have anoying fat days and that annoys my husband a bit cause I still critisise my body sometimes and need to learn to appreciate my new body and the work I have put into it a bit more

Hi there,
I don't think I am as try-so-hard happy like I used to be... I probably overcompensated to make up for being oversized. But the wierd thing is that people are nicer to me now that I am thinner. Go figure.

Hubby still finds it hard that I don't eat much and gets frustrated at times. But he just has to cope with that :)
Sophia

I don't think its cheating for me its another weight loss tool just like weight watchers and others.

I haven't told a lot of people about my surgery not because I am ashamed its more than I am embarrassed about my huge size that i needed WLS

Interesting comment about whether your personality changes because my colleague and I were commenting about a lady at my work who has just lost 40kgs in weight and saying she is really bitchy and nasty now. I said to my colleague if that happens to me slap me.
She said she has noticed a difference in my personality but the opposite - she said i appear more tolerant, happy and more paitence than I had before.

I put it down to happyness I feel that i am losing weight

Timetochange38 wrote:

Issi, your openness is appreciated, I have not even considered being a size 8 - my partner would be devasted to loose my breasts altogether..lol. But I suppose that is where the trap is, who knows how I will feel once the weight comes off.

i'll find a photo and post it but at my smallest in 2006 I was all boobs a size 8 clothes and a 10dd or e bra depending on the brand. With weight gain from erosion I'm a 12 d the boobs didn't grow with the regain but I'm sure your partner won't find them too small and if he does he can treat you to some congratulatory implants at goal :)

welcome firstly....... If someone said to me you are taking the easy way out.... my reply would be.... No, I am finding the healthy way out...... I have high blood pressure, borderline type II diabetes, higher end of normal cholesterol etc etc... I would rather have surgery than drop dead! So taking the easy way out... I don't think so I AM TAKING THE HEALTHY WAY OUT!

Good luck with everything..... I am getting sleeved next week and can't wait!

Thanks guys, its great to know there are so many caring people out there. I feel so much more positive and am trying to prepare and start changing my outlook already...not sure how it will go, the small portions are a bit hard at times.

Issi, your openness is appreciated, I have not even considered being a size 8 - my partner would be devasted to loose my breasts altogether..lol. But I suppose that is where the trap is, who knows how I will feel once the weight comes off.

having the advantage of looking out for some of the pitfalls will be very beneficial, might be a good idea to keep a shrink on hand!!

Thanks again....I look forward to sharing more with everyone down the track, and maybe able to help others with my own experience as well.

I was sleeved 11 months ago, and my only major downfall regarding the surgery is that my brain still hasn't caught up with my body.

I still consider/see myself as being fat, and when people compliment me on my wieghtloss/how I look I will find a way to make it into a negative. I was seeing a physcologist (sp?) for a while, but my problems run deeper than just myself (parent/family issues) so I have decided to have a break for a while as I was finding it too emotionally draining to keep rehashing the same old things.

I am very open about having had surgery (initially I wasnt), and to my surprise I have had only one person be nasty to my face (she also happens to be my identical twin sister), most people are proud/happy for me that I decided to take charge and do something about my weight. I guess most of them worried about me, but never wanted to/could bring themselves to say something to my face about my weight.

Good luck with everything, and dont forget there's always someone around here to talk to

xx
Tamara

I completely changed after my weight loss with the band. I think it was for the worst... but hind sight is 20/20. Life is so different when you've been obese all your life and suddenly your a size 8 and getting a lot of attention from everybody. It messes with your head and you do things out of character which you may well live to regret. I heavily regret my behaviour the couple of years post weight loss before I got my head back on straight. Think very carefully before you end any friendships or relationships even if the grass looks like it is greener on the other side - you can never get back what you throw away... and if you get anything back at all it's never the same.

Friends become bitchier when you lose weight, you are no longer the fat friend or the eating buddy and you become a threat to a lot of your friends that you would never have thought would behave like that themselves. It's a right nightmare. I had several friends husbands make the moves on me and I was hurt and disgusted. I lost my best friend because her idiot boyfriend dumped her with the excuse that he was more attracted to me and then he tried to be with me - i said absolutely not but she didn't care - she said she'd never be able to trust her future boyfriends around me because she'd seen too many guys try to stray. I never reciprocated anything but I was still blamed for it because clearly my weight loss was to steal husbands... not for my own health.

In a lot of ways I as happy to gain back some weight with the erosion and to stop being seen as a threat. I never want to get back to a size 8 because of how bad my experience was in hind sight my weight loss ruined the life I used to have, but it also gave me a whole new life. I am still mourning my old life. But you can't turn back time and we have to live with what life deals us... so just make wise well thought out decisions... and pray you don't end up too attractive to the opposite sex other than your own partner if that is possible as it just causes too many complications.

Hi TTC38, my motto is *$%# them....unless they have experienced your life and all the challenges and limitations that your weight has place on you...then they don't know what they are talking about. The old saying about not judging a person until you have walked a mile in their shoes would be good for all those 'helpful' friends and family to remember. My Dr did tell me that it would take two to three years for my mind to catch up with my body post surgery...so my mind will still regard me as fat and 'different' for a while after I have ceased to be. Also there is a thread in 'finding love after weight loss' about the impact of WLS on relationships...worth a read! Good luck and know that even though some of those around you may not be supportive...you always have us and we know! Cheers,

Thanks everyone..... I feel so much more positive after finding this site. Will be organising the next step ASAP.
Look forward to catching up and chating more down the track.

Haven't been sleeved yet but on the issue of cheating....

If you smoked two packs a day and they came out with an implant you could have
placed in your throat that would make the cigarette smoke taste horrid and it made
quitting smoking 90% easier than without it, would people consider it "cheating"
to quit smoking that way? Probably not. There's just something about being
fat that gets to people.

I'm older. I'm wiser. If someone thinks this is cheating, let 'em have at it. I
only have about 15 years left. I am not turning them over to be wasted by
being too fat to enjoy life. I only wish I'd not lost so many of the ones in my
past.

The phrase used in my first seminar was "taking the easy way out". I'm also
okay with that. If someone wants to believe this is an easy decision and easy
way out, let 'em. I will take that as a compliment. I'll tell them I was too smart
to keep trying the same way that hadn't worked over and over and over.

Hello and welcome to the forum.

I haven't been sleeved yet, my surgery is next Monday, so I am day 13 on my Optifast Diet.

Like Kyles my top weight was 127 kgs, and my body had given up, so to speak.
I have lost 20 kilo pre-op and I feel so much better and happier than I have been in years.
I am very good at losing weight, just can never keep it off, no matter how well I am and good I feel about myself, hence this is why I NEED this surgery.
I had pain 24/7 in my feet, knees and back, all of this has improved 75%, just with the loss of the 20kgs, so look out after the surgery, I will be a new woman! He he!!

Good luck with your decision.......I love this site, I have read and read and read, and still reading.

Well hello there TTC38 :)

I am still new to the sleeve but wanted to let ya know that for me a new person is definately emerging...I havent seen a negative sign as yet (I am sure that even if I get to goal tho there will be something I wont like about me...lol I'm a woman..lol)

Definately dont feel I cheated...I tried almost everything out there to lose weight and could shift about 20kg then I feel good about myself and it all piles back on...my heaviest was 129kgs not all that long ago!! and if anyone says I cheated then sucko to them...they arent me...and are probably jealous of me...he he he

I take so much more care of myself now...I actually like me again and feel its worthwhile to look good

best of luck with your decision...there is so much info on this site, even negatives and always someone around to help you if you get stuck...just holler

take care
xx Kyles

Hi Everyone

This is my first post, I am currently in the process of deciding to push ahead with the sleeve surgery...been to the first appointment with the nurse. I have read enough from this great site to understand the joys and possible troubles that can occur but wondering about any negative personality and emotional changes.

Has anyone's attitude towards their family/partners/friends changed for the worse, does anyone feel more miserable even though they are overjoyed at weight loss (sounds impossible I know)??

I have known people who loose major weight loss (not through surgery) but some seem to "loose" their happy/fun side with it.

Also, did anyone feel they were "cheating" by having surgery? I have trouble getting those closest around me to understand why I am considering it but maybe people can't understand unless they live with all this extra weight??

Hope to hear from a few of you....