Two weeks to go, today I started my shakes and reality has hit me in the guts!!!!!

Hey GCGirl, hope everything went fine, you're on your journey to a new you now! All the best, keep us updated!!

  

~Alana

Hello everyone,

Well just wanted to say my day has finally arrived, feeling pretty calm, not looking forward to the recovery part but just focusing on the positive.

I'm feeling quite exited and maybe a little emotional.
It's been a long hard slog to get to this point in my life, a very long rd of self hatred, and a big part of me feels so sad for that young girl Lindah that I hated so much.
Not anymore though, I have wasted so much energy worrying about this fat that covers my body, worn it like an armour at times not to let anyone in.

Life is quite amazing if we let it be, and we stop telling ourselves lies about ourselves. We are not disgusting , I am not disgusting , I never was. 

This is the beginning of a new life, one filled with exercise , healthy eating, healthy thinking, and healthy believing. 
I am worth it and I deserve to be happy with my body, I don't have be damaged goods anymore.
Feeling so brave and feeling my strength of 44years of a tough life.
Hip hip hooray for me and for all of you, this is a second chance at life and I'm going to cherish all the moments.

Feeling a lot of love in my heart for myself at the moment, and it's been a long time coming, feels nice to finally be my own best friend, to cheer for me rather than put myself down and criticise.

I keep saying to myself, I can't keep expecting change if I don't do something different. 

Big hugs all round , I so hope your all loving yourself more everyday. Your worth it.

Lindah XO

Hi all,

Thanks Alana Kay, found your blog, I love the sound of your job !

So just wanted to say time seems to moving quickly now, went and saw psychologist yesterday as last week, first week on shakes was terrible , lots of tears and anger and felt I should talk about it , wow do I feel Better today.
I guess before I would eat my emotions down now I can't and have to deal with what I'm feeling .
This sleeve is going to be a life saver in so many ways, I'm feeling really grateful and thankful that I have this opportunity, life is going to change so much and so am I.
My biggest hope is that I start to love and embrace EXERCISE , if that can happen then I have won the lotto.

Hope everyone is travelling well.

Lindah xo

Hey gold Coast girl, underneath my posts you'll see a big "WWW"  button, if you click that, it'll take you to my blog :)

Hi girls,
How are you all ?

Alana-Kay thanks for the encouragement, needing all I can get at the moment . I'm going with Dr Greg Nolan he is Pacific Private but operates at Pindarra and Allamanda, I'm going to Allamanda because I'm also having endometriosis removed at the same time but done after sleeve is completed by my IVF specialist , otherwise I think Dr Nolan mostly works from Pindarra. Are you from the Gold Coast ?
Good luck with all your appointments, great to hear your on your way, it is very exiting !
I'm still navigating this site , haven't found your blog yet , any hints, is it on this site or somewhere else ?
Thanks again for saying hello. Xo

JolieC , you get it ! That's why this site is invaluable , to have others know where your at and understand is half the battle for me, it's just a feeling of support and acknowledgment , makes the world of difference, so thank you.
Have been monitoring blood pressure morning and night and have come to the conclusion if this doesn't happen on the 11th February as planned it won't be too far away.
Am seeing psychologist Monday as last week I was a wreck, and I have said from the beginning that this op for me is like rehab for a fatty, "I say that with love" , when a drug addict deals with their addiction they go to rehab and have a team of people help them so this for me is rehab, and my team is my surgeon , dietician , psychologist, and down the track personal trainer, so it's time for me to start utilising my team.
No one else is going to do this for me, it's now my time to take care of me like the precious gift that I am, I know that sounds so up myself, I'm not really, just trying to embrace myself for the first time in my life and really love me, which has been a long time coming........ahhh insight isn't it wonderful, very exiting really, a chance to become more of who I want to be .
Will definitely get that diary entry in soon.
So where are you at in your journey , are you yet to be sleeved or are you on the other side ? Please tell me a little about you , would love to know.
Thanks for your support .xo

Hi there swayback,
Thanks for the hello , how far are you into this process ?
Looking forward to hearing more. Xo

Thanks again for the support so far, I think I'm feeling a lot calmer today so onwards I go.
Hope your all travelling well and happy.

Big hugs all round. Lindah xo

That's why I chose my new avatar. To remind me to stop stressing.

Lindah, hang in there! I think you've been very perceptive about your feelings of anger. And it makes sense - you *are* making a huge lifestyle change, and withdrawal from the old ways is natural, albeit bloody annoying!
Bring on the meditation! And I think a mantra that acknowledges your body's struggle whilst reaffirming the reasons why you are doing this (and how much happier your body will be down the road) is a great idea! 

Please let us know if you start a diary - would love to follow along!

Hey Lindah, how exciting for you! Which surgeon are you going through? I'm about to get the ball rolling on getting my op done, have to do super forms and GP and surgeon appointments and stuff, so a little off for me yet. Anyway, good luck, and a diary would be a great idea, I have a blog myself, if you click my [WWW] link you can read it :)

Hi Tarnie and JolieC,

Thanks so much for your encouragement, it's so appreciated.
It's only the beginning and I know I have a huge mountain to climb, but at least I have started it, YIPPEE !!!

Had my follow up with surgeon yesterday and basically my blood pressure was a little too high when doing the stress test, he said if it's too high on the day of op won't be able to perform surgery, so it's meditation time, I really need to stay calm and get rid of all negative thoughts at the moment, this week has been huge in a way I didn't expect.
I have been so angry, maybe that's what happens when your HUNGRY.
Feeling a lot of emotions.
Of course I'm a little concerned about the actual op , but I don't think It's that , it's like my drug has been taken away and I'm going thru withdrawal , feels like I can smell the whole neighborhoods dinner cooking, I didn't realise my sense of smell was that bloody good, lol.

I know this will pass and it kind of feels like when your grieving and you just have to let your self feel the pain, and feel the anger, that's kind of what I'm trying to do, allow myself to feel the emotions , because I certainly can't eat them away anymore so I guess I'm in the big school of learning at the moment, which is what this whole journey is about for me, on the flip side I can see just what a wonderful thing I am doing for myself, so right at this moment I'm happy about that and thinking YEAH YOU GO GIRL ! Funny to say that out loud but I have to be my own best friend for a change .

Was thinking I might start a diary entry , feels good to get things off my chest.

Also was wandering and sorry if it's a silly question, but how do I follow your stories ?

Thanks again so much and I look forward to more chats along this enormous climb.

Big hugs , Lindah. Xo

Goldcoastgirl - I just realised you'll now have day 3 done and dusted! Well done you!!! Hang in there - and be kind to yourself - a big change in diet plus the understandable nerves about the surgery plus the excitement to *get to the other side*...it would be weird if it didn't make you hormonal! 

hugs.

Awesome Goldcoast girl!  You've started Yehaa...

My cousin has had it too and is feeling fantastic 8 months later!

Thinking of you 

Hello to all you inspirational sleevers,

Hi my name is Liindah, have been having a look around the site for a couple of months now, which has been so helpful.
At first I freaked out majorly but as I kept reading , I started to feel more ok with what I am going to do soon.

Today I started my shakes and reality has set in , which is good, though I do feel kind of emotional , I miss my friend bread so much already.
I have my stress test tomorrow and my follow up appointment on Thursday morning so fingers crossed everything goes well tomorrow and my doctor says all good to go, I am booked in for my gastric sleeve on Tuesday 11th February , two weeks , OH MY GOODNESS, stomach just did a back flip, this is big stuff hey !

I know that a sleeve is going to be so positive for me and when I read the success stories , it just gives me a sense of hope for myself and up until today I have been so positive and exited and have been feeling like the time has been dragging but today I'm hungry and I'm a little bit scared.
I'm not going to give in , I guess this is part of the journey and I keep telling myself to breath and keep trying to go with the flow of life rather than against it, some days are easier to do this.
My hubby and I have been going through IVF for the last three years , we don't have our miracle baby yet, but I have to say the IVF forum that I was on through out this time was at times a huge life saver, the support I received was so wonderful and heart warming and at times I felt like the women on the forum were the only ones who really understood what I was feeling as we were all going through the same kind of thing, I found the whole forum experience to be absolutely wonderful , which is why I'm here.

I have already been so inspired by many of you and feel this is going to be a great place to come and share.

Thanks for reading and I look forward to chatting with you soon.

Lindah xo