So if your WLS is a secret........

That is why I am really wanting it now, so I can live happier, I had a dream last night and I never ever dream, but I feel that I can tell you about it on here!! I think I had a dream last night that I met a guy and I was having it all the time with this guy as he always would make me happy, commenting on my figure, hence I got the sleeve performed. And then I think I had this other dream that the sleeve didn't make me eat all that much, so I changed my diet a bit and I ate protein stuff, but I would only base it on what my surgeon said, eat 1 weet bix or half a cup of cereal so I was eating that several times a day, would that work? And this way, I can mix it up with milk and yoghurt and have muesli occasionally, and this way, I would be more inclined to eat all the nutritious foods!

Hi,

i told everyone, however, my sister was and still is against the surgery, so i didnt tell her about it. I saw her about a month and half after surgery and at that point i had lost 12kg, she didn't say anything at the time, slowly over the past months i have ventured little things, but she thinks i am banded not sleeved and i am happy to leave it at that with her. she still isn't all that interested in it and has made a comment, also her partner has made the same comment "research show's that people who've had THAT surgery fail and put all the weight back on" my response, "it aint gonna happen"

i find myself telling strangers that i've "had me guts ripped out" as i refer to the sleeve, lol i like seeing the shocked reactions i think :)

but you have to do it for yourself and be happy with the decision, the only thing i regret about my surgery is that i didnt do it sooner!

take care :)

del

I started by trying to keep it a secret, just my immediate family and my parents.
Then they all started with the verbal diarrhea and I was left with no choice but to go public with it.
Downside is that not everyone has been supportive.
Upside is I have learned that I am very dedicated to the surgery now, people who used to be able to convince me to change my mind haven't been able to. This is a really huge deal for me, I have never been a 'strong' person in this way before. Hopefully it's a permanent change!

Good on you Keridwyn, I have told 2 friends, my mum, and they are happy for me. My husband isn't that happy, and their are people at the gym I go to who say, 'oh do you really need it', and this goes for on this site also. And I stay stunned, in silence when I hear this. I think to myself why the f*ck do you think I am getting this done?? I mean I overeat all the time, people just don't see it when I am. Then if I say that to them they say, its self disciplinec! I tend not to take note when I get that feeling, thats if I get that feeling. So I find that it always works best if I do things dramatically and there is no turning back, its just better this way for me.

My husband told his whole family also, one said to me that it would be so much better spent just getting a dietician and then a personal trainer. I have tried all this before!!! As soon as I have one week off from this, it goes terrible for me, and the weight just piles back on!!! I want something permanent, something so I can enjoy my food and feel full after wards.

I don''t like being negative, hence the negative people. I come from a positive background so tend to like to stay positive, as much as possible!!!

I recently have started being quite open about my surgery on a selective basis. A year ago I told only my mother and my best friend. That was it. There was no way I wanted the rest of my prone to be judgmental family to know. At 8 months post op my views have changed and if conversation turns to weight or it seems appropriate then yes I freely tell people.

I am at a stage where I don't actually care what someone else thinks about my choice on what I spent my money on or what they think about my having surgery. This was my choice for me. I wont defend it or even justify it to someone else.

Only my mother, 2 sisters and best friend know i had the sleeve done. Anyone else who has found out about the op has been told it was a hiatus hernia op. I intend to keep it this way. If any really overweight people ask how i have lost weight i will possibly tell them...or at least tell of a friend who has lost alot of weight with the sleeve - guess i will play it by ear.
It is a personal decision whether or not we decide to tell people.
Best wishes,
Belle :)

I told everyone who would listen that I was getting a lapband done. I was so excited about it and thought it was the perfect tool to help me lose my weight. Everyone watched me lose 28kg and there were some wonderful comments from them. There were also those people who thought I should be losing more and loved to put in their two cents worth. I lost 11 of those kgs during the optifast stage so really lost only 16kg with the band in a year. I never reached my first goal of reaching 100kg. I have not been able to eat properly since I got the band. Most of my food is still pureed and I cant eat bread, any kind of meat not pureed and vegetables. On some days I cant eat anything. I started to eat icecream and chocolate and to drink milkshakes. Some days I even had trouble with these. The weight piled back on until I am back where I started. People are cruel with their remarks. I dont need their negative comments as I have enough internal dialogue going on about failing even with a lapband.
Then one of my friends who also had a lapband had hers taken out for the third time and had the gastric bypass done. She lost 24kg in two months and is doing great. I started reading up about it on the net as I desperately want this fat gone and to feel good about myself. I discovered the sleeve gastrectomy and it just seemed perfect for me.
I am waiting for my appointment in March to find out when I can start on the sleeve journey:)
My husband and our twenty year old son are the only people I am telling. I cannot go through the humilation and the feelings of self loathing again if I fail to lose this weight in front of an audience.

mum05 wrote:

I am hopefully having my operation in late June 2010, and had decided not to tell any of my friends, but I find myself telling everyone LOL. I am that excited about it.

LOL, I'm like you Liz. Thought I'd be keeping schtum, but my hubby was so proud of me he told everyone he talked to. And, like you , I was so excited and so sure that it is right for me, that I just couldn't keep it in either.

Cheers - Carrie

I haven't told many people I have had sleeve surgery. My 4 adult kids know, my sister and my friend and thats it. Later you never know I may tell how I have kept the weight off. Never had any trouble losing weight before, but could never keep it off.

I am hopefully having my operation in late June 2010, and had decided not to tell any of my friends, but I find myself telling everyone LOL. I am that excited about it. If people want to judge me then hey, how about we change bodies, you come have the thyroid disease, push out 5 kids, have very little time to yourself, then try to loose 50kg's.... yeah I don't think so. Its my responsibility to bite this thing in the butt for good. When I'm slim and healthy anyone that had doubts about what I am doing will no longer have those thoughts and hopefully be happy for me.
Liz.

Only a handful of people no that i had the op... my mil is one of them, because you wouldnt believe it.. she was having her last operation (for bowel cancer) in the same hospital as me in the same week that ihad operation... and would you believe we ended up in the same ward about 3 rooms from each other... She was good though.. she hasnt told a soul... most of my friends and work collegues that dont know just think im on a health kick LOL (and are probably waiting for me to fail LOL)... little do they no that i will never fail this time LOL!!! mwahahahahahaha

Hi Everyone,

My op is 29th March... I have been wary about who I tell, currently my husband, a very few CLOSE friends and my boss (who is so encouraging... and excited for me...LOL)... My doctor actually told me, to tell anyone who I didn't want to know, that I was having a Hernia operation... and that he even had a lady that hadn't even told her husband... and has kept that secret for a few years now.

Everyone though is different and handles everything in there own way.. and I respect that... I just have a couple of very impressionable daughters 13 and 11.. that are already concerned about weight... even though they are both at a healthy weight... I am hoping by having this operation that they will see me eating healthy proportions and will learn by that... and not that having an operation to control weight is the answer for them....(I hope it never is... but if down the track they are like their mother as an adult... then I will let them know!!)...

Leanne

I completely agree with you grover, but I also completely agree with Dreamgirl! In the end, it is truly up to the individual. I listened to my mother who is a truly wonderful mother, and who will support me all the way! Prepare my meals ect... I have told the people who are relatives and should really know, to help me make the right decision even though I had made my mind partially up already. To make sure I was thinking of all the outcomes. For those who disagree with it, well, I believe they will get a bit of a shock when they see a difference. I can now look forward to a new healthy me because I need to make healthy choices!!!

I completely understand the desire not to tell everyone - its none of their business. Initially I told my boss when I requested leave, but asked for confidentiality while I decided on my official explanation. After a week of considering the pros and cons, I thought I would struggle to maintain more than one version and so I decided I would tell the whole world. Yep, you see it instantly in some faces that they are horrified but fortunately, their approval is unimportant to me. I have the full support of my wife and children who will enjoy interaction with a healthy and active husband and father. When the time comes, I will easily run and play with my grandchildren and enjoy a retirement with many more options.

Personally I think the hernia op sounds like an excellent decoy.

I hear u, i also decided not to tell my children, they stayed with my mum and i told them i was at a work confernce, i spoke to them on the phone the day after surgery and it was fine, i felt terrible not telling them i was in hospital, but it worked out fine. I did tell them when i got home and explained what i had done, my 13 year old was quite upset i didnt tell her but my 10 year old wasn't bothered. My children have been fantastic at keeping my secret and i am very proud of them, they encourage me all the time along with my husband. I too didn't tell many people, the only ones that know is my husband, kids, mum, brother & his wife and a couple of very close freinds. Oh yeah and my work mates. When people ask me what im doing to lose all this weight i tell them the truth, cut my meals in half, and walk 30mins every day, they seem to be happy with that, if not BAD LUCK. I do feel guilty sometimes, but at the end of the day its my business.
Good Luck xoxoxoxo
Dreamgirl

Cool, thanks for your help..

I guess my issue is that I have 4 young kids... so 7,4,2 and 5months old and so I have to do school drop offs and pick ups..and us "soccer mums" haha all get along really well and so if Im missing for a few weeks they will wonder and ask where I am.. thinking what to tell the kids where I am..dont really want them in hospital. I will miss them heaps but also dont want them seeing me like that either if I dont have to... decisions decisions...

cheers again

Possum ,

I too have to agree, i have been on the verge of telling people but then consider the possible consequences of the world knowing and the negative feedback which may occur.

and i definatley agree with the last paragraph!

Had to add my two cents worth!
Decided to only tell some of my kids and one friend .. haven't moved beyond that
in over 5 months. Am I Glad?? Yes, people say - wow you are losing weight, how are you doing it? And I tell them the truth - eating less, doing OPTIFAST, exercising a little, trying not to drink too much alcohol. All true!! There is no need to lie - it is a case of don't tell them everything.

I think some people would be very supportive - but other people would pretend to be and laugh behind your back or sneer. I have unfortunately seen this with other people who have had wls and the comments are a bit sad and indicative of this society's view of overweight people.

so, I think it is very much a personal thing. sometimes I am on the edge of telling someone, but once I do that I will just tell everyone who asks. can't just tell a few people out there as they will tell others and so it goes on!!

I don't tell people how much I earn, how much I weigh, or anything else that personal - it might depend if you are an introvert or an extrovert too ...

good luck with it all everyone.

I am in the 87 kilo mark now after being 105, so it is well worth the small price you will pay initially and a bit of discomfort when you overeat. just watch that!! possum

Oh Caz had a peek at your photos...you look so beautiful, healthy and happy!

Hi Fatnomore,

I say good on you! I told my husband and thats it....!

I too didnt want criticism or negative comments. My husband took me too the hospital and visited me while the kids were at school. They just thought he was on holidays. and I told them i was staying at a friends place doing some study before uni starts( uni is an hour from where we live so it was feezable). and if family or friends asked i said the same thing.

For the first day or so when i was just out of surgery i just told them my phone was flat, so if they had tried to call me they couldnt get hold of me.

When you start your optifast diet, eat as often as you can around family and friends so they see you eating the optifast and having salad/veg/small potions of food, and i let them know the amount of weight i was losing (you should lose a fair bit). So once you have surgery you can tell them your still doing optifast and/or just having small portions of food, and really they wont know any different and you WILL keep losing weight.

My mum can tell a lie a mile away and she is such a sticky beak and blabber mouth. She hasnt even suspected a thing.

Good luck, you can do it and you have all my support and encouragement.

I only had one negative comment - and I think that was genuinely because that person didn't see me as 'large' (but I was - have a look at a new, very confronting picture from 2 years ago that I just uploaded to my gallery). I also think she was genuinely worried about the danger of surgery.

She now realises how good it has been for me!!!

I have been really lucky that I have only had one negative remark before the op, but since then this person can see that I had done the right thing for me.
Anyone else I have spoken to has been amazed that I had it done and have been pleased for me.
I get told that I am brave and people can understand that I had to do it for my own peace of mind.

Jenni

I didn't tell too many people and nobody from work. I went on annual leave for 3 weeks and came back with noone any the wiser.

I applaud those that were able to tell anyone and everyone. I just didn't want to deal with the negativity from those people that have never had a weight issue.

The only people who I told before the op was my hubby, kids, mum and dad and sister. Basically those most closest to me. Didn't even tell my in-laws. I had to do the whole thing on my own as hubby and I run a business and he couldn't take time off. They took me to the airport early the morning of the op, I got on the plane, caught a cab to the hospital and had the op. I had 5 days up their by myself with a couple of visits from Mapmar. Then as it was a public holiday hubby drove up and picked me up and bought me home.

Afterwards tho I tell anyone who asks. I can't lie or make things up so its easier just to tell the truth. (Doesn't come back and bite you on the bum afterwards either) Also I reakon that if I tell someone it might help them or someone they know to make a decision. There are so many people out there who don't even know what the sleeve is. They automatically assume we have had the band.

So go forth and spread the joy I say.

I am not telling anyone, as people will say to me I did it the easy way out, but i know the real truth and im not going to go thru it all with them, i have only told my boss, she asked No q's, my DH which took a good 5 months to come around to the party, which didnt matter i was getting it without him, and my sil who will be picking me up from hospital and minding my kids, my other sil thinks im getting soemthing done to my eyes! weird i know.

I do have a hiatus hernia, so If i need to ell anyone else i will go with that "lie" well 1/2 a lie.heheh

I rekon it is a personal thing to go thru, everyone can see fro looking at me, that I need to loose weight so im gonna be in weight loosing mode anyhow, so thats how ill go with it..