has anybody lost too much weight?

Janey I love your post about loving yourself.
After years of self-judgement and secrecy about food, eating disorders etc I am a bit like you- I put it out there if it comes up in conversation (not yell it from the roof-tops) and how people handle it is their problem.
Self-acceptance is so important. I am still working on it but it sounds like you have it pretty much down pat. When you can truly love yourself it makes you an even more beautiful person.

Janey,

That was beautiful...............and it makes purrrrfect sense !

i had my surgery at the end of june and i have lost about 36kg. I set my goal for 75 knowing that if i lost a little more i would still be healthy and not too thin....im sitting at around 72-73 at the moment and feel great at that weight. Sometimes i feel that it wouldnt hurt to lose a few more kg's, but really im not that worried. I have replaced low fat milk with hilo and equal with sugar and also diet cordial with cordial.....im also really not watching what im eating ( which probably isnt good for me, but hey i feel that it is now all in moderation....so thats ok.)

I feel that the comments that i get about not losing anymore...is from the fact that nobody for the last 22years has ever seen me at this weight....so if i lost anymore it would look like i have lost too much.

I also look in the mirror and think wow, i catch my reflection and really cant believe it is me. Another thing that i quite often get a shock from is when i hang my clothes on the line....somethimes i cant believe that their mine...lol.

Anyway i feel that i have come to my natural body weight and as i said i have now seemed to stop losing, which is good as it does become a bit of a worry when you think how am i going to stop ( something i dont think any of us have ever experienced before...lol)

nicole

So true Bella you insightful thing you.
Since having a couple of nervous breakdowns and always worrying about what others think I have finally turned a corner and now don't care. As long as I can lie straight in bed at the end of the day knowing that I have been loving, kind and thoughtful towards others then I love myself. Not in a narcissistic kind of way of course but loving myself for who I am and what I do. As someone who has hated herself most of her life this is a revelation to me and it feels good. Even though I am overweight I can still look into the mirror and see something good. It is in the eyes and in the mind. The covering is not as important as the heart within. I still walk with pride and smile at everyone who passes me by and I still take pride in my appearance. I don't hesitate to offer help to a stranger. I am still a person no matter what my weight. I don't let it stop me being me.
I want to be slim because I am still a female and I like to look good in my clothes and I know that my health will be better if I lose the weight. I would also like the extra bit of energy. But this will not change my opinion of myself as a person. I will just have a better looking "package" to market the person underneath.
Hope this makes sense,

Janey

Fadding

Not enough of us on this planet applaud ourselves for things we have achieved, they way we look, the way we treat others or our own inner strengths when life challenges us....even if its simply biting our tongue when the Teenager in the house gets antsy, or being patient with the cashier in the supermarket, or letting a minor annoyance slide unspoken....we look to others to do this for us and constantly get disappointed when either they dont or it doesnt meet our expectations....hence we often feel inadequate.

Women have an inbuilt and unconscious degree of competitiveness .......... with other women! eg. We may think we are dressing to please Him, or ourselves but its usually to impress or go one up on what other women around us will be wearing.....we quite often are not aware we do it.....dressing for Him comes 2nd and for ourselves comes last.

So good onya Fadding for putting your self first, daily positive affirmations over time do help lots and applauding your own acceptance of yourself...........an attitude i hope to emulate myself......

Oh Bella you sexy fox
you gorgeous thang !
grrrrowwwwl
wolf whistle wolf whistle

ok.... i tried Fadding.....hehe......i will keep trying !

~hugs~

some say oh you don't wont to lose any more you look great now , I say thanks I know I do .but would still like to lose another few kgs,
It did take me some time to think I looked good
So every day look in the mirror and say hello you sexy thing you
oh you look wonderful.
I love me I love me
and of cause you skinny sexy beast
everyday positive thoughts out load they work wonders

Nup...no slack for the rotten obnoxiously skinny people, LOL!

Well not the ones who laugh at you when your fat and wipe you when you're thin anyway.

well...Maybe the couple of nice ones out there...but thats all OK!!

Our poor skinny friends - No matter what they say we have a problem with it

If they don't comment at all we think - why didn't you notice I have lost 50 kilos?
If they say - you look absolutely amazing we think - no I don't I am still obese - you just don't want me to be skinny like you and get any of the attention you get
If they say - you don't need to lose another pound see problem #2
If they say you are going to look great once you lose another 10 kilos we think - who are you to say I am still fat eoungh to need to lose another 10 kilos..........

Lets face it - we are obviously focused and over sensitive about our weight which is why we went to the length of getting our stomach cut out in the first place.....................someone who didn't care wouldn't have gotten the surgery.

Maybe we all need to cut those g-d darn obnoxiously skinny people some slack.

LOL

Hey Rose

You are doing really well, we seem to be travelling at about the same pace, same starting weight and surgery close together. Well done!!

hello all, back again............

i am happy to report that all is well. i see you guys are discussing "friends and their compliments". regarding my everyday friends i have noticed a change of response when we pass each other by. people use to have that " sorry for me" look, but man has that changed into a " look at you!" stare. some even openly cling to their hubbys when i am around!!!! lol anyway i live off compliments. i dont care if they are fake or meant, I LOVE IT!

i do wish i could hussle this whole weight loss thing along and i do share some of your fustrations!

till later
cheers

Wow, Steph - a size 8. I doubt if anyone on this site ever thought they'd get that small, even though I think someone else might be there too.
I can't believe you're still losing so much - you'll have to work out how to turn that tap off, won't you?
Perhaps the answer lies in grazing, rather than high fat? I know - that which we are all told to avoid, but it might be just what you need.
I'm sure you're talking to your doc and the dietician, and I wish you luck - we'll all be waiting to see how you do.
Hugs
Chris

Well done Steph.

I have just posted before seeing this post and said what an inspiration you were. I can never imagine that happening to me. What do you eat for Dinner? and have you just gone off other foods?

I agree with Caz, perhaps you should go and see your Dietician and see if she can give you some other food options you might like.

Wow you must be feeling really great though - fancy a size 8 - unbelievable.
You are an inspiration to us all Steph but please be careful if you go under 60kg.
Hugs and best wishes
Jilly

Wow Steph - well done. But I also hear a little concern.

Have you spoken to a dietitian about what else you could include that you aren't currently eating? And you need to be eating enough so you CAN do some exercise. Even I who dislike exercise intensely know that it is important to do some.

Take Care
Caz

I guess I should put in my 2c worth here.

I was sleeved early July and have exceeded my surgeons goal for me by 8kg and my own goal by 2.2kg. Today I weighed in at 62.8 and am in size 10 clothes but this morning I went to Target to find some 3/4 pants and size 10's were loose and size 8's just perfect. Now that's not something I every dream would happen to me and I never wanted to be a size 8. This is smaller than I have ever been. My wedding dress was a size 10. I don't exercise because I didn't want to lose weight faster than I have been but it is still coming off at a kilo a week.

My problem now is I am trying to stop the weight loss and find that the only foods I enjoy are my porridge and my tuna salad I have a lunch time. The food I eat isn't going to help me keep a stable weight and I do try to include high fat food at times but basically it's forcing myself to eat stuff I don't like anymore.

I just hope I don't get too much smaller. If I hit 60kg and keep going under then I will be really concerned. A girl at work keeps saying to me "You don't want to lose anymore weight".

steph

Its nice to hear other people are grimacing on the inside when people start with their compliments.. the occassional one or two is nice... but its when people go on and on and on and on... and it make you think.. wow.. how bad did I look before??!!! lol
That sounds bad though hey... Im sure alot of people would love recieving compliments like that .. Maybe its because of the surgery that things can be a bit different for us.

Anyways.. back to the subject.. I was a couple of weeks ago a little worried about the loseing too much weight thing. The goal weight I set for myself was 70kgs. I had my surgery early Dec. and I now I weigh 76 kgs - so only 6kgs to go until my goal. I knew the surgery would help me lose weight - but I never realised how fast! lol Not that its a bad thing.. its amzing! But now im not too worried about being 'too thin' .. after being ill...and getting fat... I never thought Id ever be anywhere near thin again! lol I think my body will just find the right weight for me to be.. If that makes sense.

I think, in this case, we are all learning to eat properly and are so body conscientious now,
I seriously doubt that that would happen to many of us.
I totally agree - I think those people must think it's cute and crave the attention of not eating.

For me, anyway, I'm having to re-program my brain and it's all about behavior modification.
Obviously, the way I was doing it in the past wasn't successful, so that cycle had to be broken.
I believe, from what I've read in this forum, that's what we all have in common.

Just my 2 cents... *S*

good advice girls!

I will just imagine them thinking "dot. dot. dot. compared to the lard arse you were" and THEN hit them with a wet noodle!
Sophia

The majority of people have to work at losing the last 10 -15kg. Some are lucky and it all just comes off with no effort, and they have to put in a consious effort to eat their snacks to maintain and stop losing. But really the couple of people on american sites who said they had lost to much weight where I can not find a polite way to say this whiney. they wanted to stop losing but forgot to eat, and had NO intention at all of making a consious effort to make sure they did eat. Sorry but if your problem is forgetting to eat you do not have a problem besides liking to whine. It doesnt take the brain of a rocket scientist to just set a small timer or write yourself a reminder or about a zillion other ways to remind yourself to put food in your mouth. They might have been terrible examples but they just seemed to thrive on the attention they where getting from not eating, and I am afraid they are really the only ones I have heard of.

applesauce

You totally crack me up Deb. Lard arse indeed.

As for people losing too much weight, while we 'plus-sized' people think it is hilarious, I can imagine it could be a real problem if it happened - while being under-sized is healthier that over-sized in most cases, there has to be a stopping point or you have the same problems as an anorexic, even if you are trying to eat.

So while it sounds like a good thing, I actually hope it doesn't happen to me. Right-sized instead of too big or too small is what I'm hoping for.

16.5 hours to go till I check into the hospital (but who's counting?)

Caz

I am getting that too Sophie and still have 30kg to lose. In my case I am sure they are politely refraining from saying the last bit of what they are thinking- "Oh my God you look fantastic... compared to the morbidly obese lard-arse you were 4 months ago."

Just smile at them, and say Thank you...
OR
smack em with a wet noodle & walk off in a huff....
I DESPISE patronizing people!

yes, I would too swoon to hear those words said to me!

On the other hand, can I have a whinge? Why, thanks, I will!

I was over 30 -40 kgs overweight. I lost 10 kilos in the last 5 weeks, and am fairly happy with that as a start.

BUT!!! what really really drives me NUTs is my skinny friends (who are lovely and very well meaning and know I had the op) saying "OMG, you look fantastic / you look great etc"

HELLO!!!! I have to drop another 25 kilos before I am in a normal BMI range. I don't look "fantastic." I still look severly obese and wear size 18 - 20 clothes, and they wear size 10. I know they are being supportive and not patronising, but it makes me roll my eyes.

Or am I just being silly?
Sophia

Ohhhhhh -
I dream of the day to hear those sweet words...
"You're too thin...
Here's some BlueBell ice cream with Nutella..."
*swoons*

Yeah, I want to hear from my dietician - Mr. Hughes, You really need to eat more ice cream and dark chocolate, you're getting too thin...

Mum was sleeved 7 months ago and had dramas with leaks and such. She's not dangerously thin or anything, but she is below her ideal weight now and still losing slowly. She just can't get enough nutrients and calories in to maintain at the moment. But I don't think you can really end up too thin from this surgery unless you've had complications. Before you start losing, it seems like a weird thing to be worrying about, doesn't it?