Secret Sleevers

Anewme wrote:

Hi All,

How many of us are Secret Sleevers,  I am.

My reasons for not telling anyone other than my husband and children are,
( who are very supportive )

1.  My family would have a field day  ( at my expence )  they would not be 
      at all  supportive.

2.  My friends would not be very supportive and a few have had quite a lot
      to say about a person behind her back when she had a sleeve.
      ie  should just try harder with diet and it's cheating etc

I have researched WLS for over 12 months and I know that I need this surgery
so does my GP and my Surgeon, I have a few co-morbidities.

So to all you secret Sleevers I totally understand  and wish you all great success 
in your weight lose journey.

I need positive people in my corner not negative people.

I feel the same way. I didn't want anyone to know. I even struggled to tell my partner, half the world knows now cause my partner has a big mouth and a mate at work is getting it done so he had to jump in and tell them all about me ( I should have told him it was a secret but I felt more ashamed telling him I wanted it to be a secret ) Anyway it's out there now and a few of my friends know I am getting it done.
I guess I didn't want people to  know because they will call me lazy and say I'm taking the easy way out. But at the end of the day if I'm healthy and happy I really don't care what they think.   I think of it this way, every one has some kind of addiction whether it be food, drugs, alcohol etc  This is my tool to help me, no one criticizes people for going to AA or getting help, they are praised for their efforts for admitting they have a problem and getting treatment. Well I admit I have a problem, I am addicted to food I can't control it. I am getting help, this is my tool to help me control my addiction.

I've mentioned it to a select few n gotten mixed results :(
Sister is against it but semi-supportive as she understands its my choice.
My friend says 'you can do it without wasting that money' :/
The other friend has a sleeve n is great n tells me everything good n bad 

I don't know who I will tell, and if it will be before or after. I'd like to think I could ignore the negativity toward it but its not easy having ppl close to you not think its right :/

I'm a partial secret sleever (yet to be done), had another 'person' dis it last week.
Kinda wishing no one knew at this time!
But I do have an awesome hubby and my boys and their wife and fiancé too.
The youngest, 30, is scared for his Mum, but he is my secret gooey centre.
He's a tough nut with other people.

Up until last night, only my mum and a couple of friends (one who has the lap band), who are old enough to be my parents, knew about my upcoming surgery.

So I was on the phone to mum talking about my surgery and little did I know she had it on speaker phone and my dad was listening. Now I love my dad and I have a lot of respect for him. But every time I do something to my body, it's the "stupidest thing I've ever done". 
To my surprise he was somewhat okay with what he was hearing. When mum said he was listening I said "oh hey dad, yeah so I'm getting half my stomach cut out, it's called gastric sleeve", his reply was why don't I just get the lap band. He said it as if it is the "easier" alternative. 
Now I'm aware it of course isn't by any means an "easier" alternative, and I explained everything I researched to him and at the end of the conversation he promised not to tell anyone as its my private business and not even my sister needs to know (his words). And he even apologised for not being able to help me pay for the gap (I hadn't said anything bout cash).

I guess what I'm getting at is that in telling my dad, it really cemented how I don't want every Tom dick and Harry to know, as I don't want to, need to or have time to defend my decision towards their uneducated opinions. 
Yet I am extremely grateful that I have both my parents on board and supporting me. I wish everyone had good support network.

Well, i have followed there advice... I do eat less...

After surgery!!

Why do people say "Just eat less", when you try to diet to lose weight??  They obviously don't know just how hard it is for certain people.  I tried eating less, and it made me hungrier.

I only told my brother and sister-in-law before I had it done.  I did also tell my kinesiologist and Osteo... but there not really family or friends.. hehe

I did try and talk about having surgery with some of my friends and my Mum before I had made a decision either way, but pretty much all of them told me I was crazy and I should just eat less.  So I made the decision that I wouldn't tell anyone, and its worked for me.

My 2 children, my best friend & my boss (cause I needed time off of work) so 4 people in total know apart from my GP and the surgeon and staff.
My best friend was so supportive and very excited for me offered to drive me to the hospital and stay until the surgery was done and had been encouraging me through the pre op optifast stage and now the post surgery phases.
My boss saw fit to tell me a story of someone she knew who passed away from the same surgery, certainly not what one wants to hear so since that, I decided not to mention it to anyone else as I didn't want the negativity or the lectures... I don't care that people are under the impression I'm doing through hard work and will power, cause let me tell you, it is hard work and takes will power, I just have an advantage now.
What opportunity I've been given and I'm immensely grateful for this gift.
W

I have not told a single soul.

I'm not a total secret sleever as I have told a few friends, my sister - who has been 110% supportive - and my nephew in NZ who is super morbidly obese.

But fairly secret, not told
my mum (!) - she is in NZ, my brother or other friends.

I won't be telling anyone.  Haven't even told my husband yet that I have a date for surgery - I think he thinks I've given up on the idea, because I haven't mentioned it to him since before Christmas.

The only people who knew about my sleeve before I had it done, was my husband and my mum.  I didn't want anyone else to know because it was my business.  I needed to focus on my preparation, and try to get my head around the fact that I was about to completely change my life!!

I wasn't till a few weeks after the op that I started telling people, only because they noticed the weight loss.

And you know what... I have had nothing but positive comments and wonderful support from everyone.  My friends, work colleagues, and school mums and family have been wonderful.

I had been expecting a negative comment or two, but they never came.  A bit of a shame really, because I had a few excellent retorts for those negative people... and it involved a bit of swearing and then telling them where to go!!

For those who want to keep their sleeves a secret, I fully support, admire and respect that.

I am also a secret sleeved have only told some of my family and 1 friend who has had the surgery done.

i'm a secret sleever and i think i will be forever! My mum knows (she's had it and i'm 20 years old so she took care of me :P) but i have not told anyone else nor do i ever think i will be able to (maybe way way in the future) 

People can be so judgmental if they have no experience being over weight, many can not actually comprehend that it's a lot more than just eating right and exercising it's a mind thing too, it's all part of the journey!

Hey Anewme!

I'm 9 days post op.  Up to two weeks before the surgery my husband was the only person who knew.  This was because I needed to do the research and become clear in my own mind that I was doing the right thing.  Many people in my life belong to team "eat less, exercise more" and have no direct understanding of the many difficulties associated with obesity.  Nor did I feel that they would comprehend why I was taking such apparent drastic measures when the answer to them is so simple.

I opted not to tell my children as they are all young (under 10) and I didn't want them to worry that mummy was going to hospital - they thought I was just visiting my sister.  The week before my surgery I phoned my mum and sister and told them.  Mum was very supportive from the start as she knows how much my weight has impacted me over many years and decided to fly down to me for the week to help manage the home front.  My sister, whom I am close to, played devil's advocate in the beginning and really challenged me on why I was doing it.  I found this valuable as I had an answer for everything and it reinforced in my own mind that the sleeve was the best and only option for me.

I have been on my soap box a thousand times telling people which fad diet I was trying and ended up failing every time and left feeling really low and foolish.  This journey is different for me and I am finding that keeping this part of me to myself is empowering and motivating.  I went to a school coffee morning this morning and many of my mummy friends (for the first time) said that I looked as though I was losing weight.  I told them that I was using shakes as meal replacements, not drinking alcohol and increasing my protein - all of this this is true - I am.  I was congratulated and it was left there.  I have no shame for having the sleeve - quite the contrary - I feel very proud of myself for having the courage to do something that will be so life changing.  If someone asked me directly if I'd had WLS, I would tell them as I don't feel comfortable lying outright but until then, I just do not feel that it is anyone else's business.

Hi All,

How many of us are Secret Sleevers,  I am.

My reasons for not telling anyone other than my husband and children are,
( who are very supportive )

1.  My family would have a field day  ( at my expence )  they would not be 
      at all  supportive.

2.  My friends would not be very supportive and a few have had quite a lot
      to say about a person behind her back when she had a sleeve.
      ie  should just try harder with diet and it's cheating etc

I have researched WLS for over 12 months and I know that I need this surgery
so does my GP and my Surgeon, I have a few co-morbidities.

So to all you secret Sleevers I totally understand  and wish you all great success 
in your weight lose journey.

I need positive people in my corner not negative people.