So Over What Other People Think........

You're right Spoggy, thanks.

You look great. Stop when your instincts tell you. You will know when the time is right. Bodies are very clever at letting you know.

Thanks Michelle. You know I am relying on you to tell me if I do get too thin. Bloody hell, never thought that would be a sentence I would utter/type. lol I know you will tell it to me straight.

You look fantastic, Kate. You don't look 'too thin', and I think its great that you are not 'settling' because everyone thinks you should. I admire your fortitude, and to all those people who say you are getting too thin,

Jealousy!!!!!

It is funny (may not be the right word) how there are sooo many people out there that knock things (not just weight loss); though if everyone was nice to each other (like on this site) the world would be a much better place.

If it helps some, as it has helped me over the years; I was told the following and it has helped at times; I hope it helps at least one other.

"It is far better to be happy and be by ones self; than to be sad/miscontent with others"

A long long time ago I was very sad; now I am quite content to be on my own at times; though I really love the company of others as well; but on my terms.

yep, human beings can be aholes.as I say sometimes 'up ya bum chum'

I agree totally with Lin1970. My dad used to call me "Chubby" as a nickname and he told me that I'd end up looking like Onslow's wife of Keeping Up Appearances (remember Mrs Bucket, sorry Bouquet). If I could have biffed him I would have, but we are actually very close. If one person even looks like suggesting I'm taking the easy way out they will be sprayed with my battery acid saliva garnished with choice words. What may I ask is easy about putting yourself under a general anaesthetic (god I don't know how to spell that word), potential bleeds from liver and spleen, potential leaks, fistulas, infections, hernias - you name it - how is that an "easy" option. This topic makes me so mad.

I am passed what people think about me,if they don't like what i have done then to bad,i did it for my health,and i hated being fat.

Snowbunny you have done so well

I just gabbled on cherryripes diary about this type of issue, how woman out each other down. What the heck are we doing. I know I do it. Is it because we feel so crap about ourselves? Is it because we are being brainwashed from the damn media. I have noticed some women are more competitive than others though.

I'll share a funny story, over 15 yrs I visited Adelaide and my dad picked me up. once again he commented about my weight. i turned around and said i had other things that were a priority, i then asked him if it was his. i've never been hassled about my weight from him since.

Itdoes not matter what other people think. It isnice if they are pleased for you, but those who don't understand or care about health won't. Remember sticks and stone.................!

I get the impression that people think I have cheated by having surgery.
Even though most don't say it, I kinda think that is what they are thinking.
I don't care, I did this for my health. I have already kicked Diabetes and Depression is next on my list. I am grateful that my PHI sees the surgery as a good investment for overweight people.

I have NO regrets.
Just my 2 cents.....

No problem Taueret, go right ahead, I love to read other peoples opinions and insights. Thanks for sharing.

Glad you can move past it- because I don't think people will stop complaining about other people's bodies any time soon! I am always super annoyed (even when I was FAT) by fat women hating on thin women. Comments about "real women" and so on just p me off! We are all real women!

I have had all the comments like "don't lose too much", "aren't you worried about wrinkles", and my favorite, from a skinny friend who I really love- and I forgive her because she knows not what she does (no idea what it's like to struggle with food) : "don't lose your personality along with the weight". I chose to take it as a "I like you how you are" compliment but still... yikes.

In a similar vein- I have had a few dicey moments with friends who are a bit put out that since losing weight I have started to have an interest in fashion and grooming/beauty. "You've become a real girly girl" etc etc. I just burp the alphabet ;-) or something equally ladylike to defuse te tension, but sheesh. I had to buy a whole new wardrobe- sorry if I didn't just but the same plain old jeans and t shirts in smaller sizes! I mostly only have awesome friends so I haven't had it too badly but the whole THING with the way women especially are so hard on ourselves, and use others as a proxy for that.

I have to be careful because when I decided to be sleeved, I reached a state of acceptance (ironically) about my weight. I could say "I am fat" as an objective statement of fact without it being an insult to myself. It was liberating to talk to people and say "yeah I weigh tis much and I should weigh this much". Now I need to try and remember that other people mostly still find "fat" or similar very emotionally laden terms, and try not to talk about it, or them, in any way that sounds judgy or tactless.

Sorry to hijack your thread Kate.

Thanks Spoggy. That's a big middle finger up to everyone isn't......just get on with life because now I have one and I can do whatever I want in it.

Usually people make funny comments because they are scared of change and feel threatend by someone who is taking control of their life. Being proactive about their health - finding a way to lose weight and keep it off. They are too scared to have a sleeve or bipass. They will find out in time that you have made a great decision and have survived the process. You are not telling them for their approval you are telling them in the hope they will support you.

Not all will show support. Go with what you think is the best thing for you.

Just get on with your life and show them the way.

Thanks for the support guys. I can always rely on the lovely people of this forum to lift my spirits and to be always encouraging. That's why I love this place.

Yep Kate,

Totally agree, I don't know why so many people think they have the right to give their opinion!!!!

That is all :-)

Linda

Kate wrote:

Thanks again for all the positive comments and support.
Even before losing weight I am the kind of person that truly doesn't
care what people think of me. If you don't like me then it is your
problem. That's the way I see it. It's the same in this case as well. I
truly don't give a rats arse what people think but it is very
frustrating. I just needed to have a little sooky la la moment about it
and be a bit precious. All is good and I WILL be what ever weight I want
to be........because I can.

Good for you Kate! It's amazing how some people think they have every right to pass comment or make judgments about your life choices. I love your last sentence - perhaps you could print that out and whenever some busybody opens their mouth you could just smile and nod, and hand them a copy.

Tash wrote:

Something once told to me by a Psychologist is Psychology Heaven - California, " What you think of me is none of my business" Good quote but hard one to practice.

I love this quote and it is hard to practice but it's something I try hard to remember.

kayt83 wrote:

I understand completely your frustrations - I am finding the same thing. If one more person asks me if I am anorexic or tells me I've lost too much I'm going to scream! I think people actually commented far less about my weight when I was heavy, not sure why they think it is ok when you are not overweight (and these aren't always people who know about the op).

It's funny isn't it? I have a friend who is extremely thin, always has been and she has the opposite problem to most of us - it doesn't matter what she does she cannot put on weight. She has consulted many specialists over the years but she just isn't meant to carry any excess weight I guess. People have never been shy about telling her she needs to eat more etc, not sure why people feel it's ok to comment when someone is skinny, perhaps they feel it's easier to control? For her it's always been a struggle and she gets just as upset as anyone else would when someone comments on her appearance, yet people seem to think it's ok to say whatever they like to her.

OMG triple post sorry, stupid computer!!!!!!!!!!

Good for you Kate. People can be so amazingly rude at times and it can be really hurtful, especially when you presumably spent lots of time and energy researching what was best forn you and your health.

I used to be so stressed about what other people thought and making sure people were happy and liked me. Then I split from my ex, turned 40 and got a sleeve.

Now I do what feels right for me and bugger what other people think. If they don't like me for who I am, their loss.

Isn't it great to hwith people who get it. This is a great place to have a 'sooky la la moment' (love that phrase and will be using it future) with like minded souls who get it. such a lovely cyber community.......

Good for you Kate. People can be so amazingly rude at times and it can be really hurtful, especially when you presumably spent lots of time and energy researching what was best forn you and your health.

I used to be so stressed about what other people thought and making sure people were happy and liked me. Then I split from my ex, turned 40 and got a sleeve.

Now I do what feels right for me and bugger what other people think. If they don't like me for who I am, their loss.

Isn't it great to hwith people who get it. This is a great place to have a 'sooky la la moment' (love that phrase and will be using it future) with like minded souls who get it. such a lovely cyber community.......

Good for you Kate. People can be so amazingly rude at times and it can be really hurtful, especially when you presumably spent lots of time and energy researching what was best forn you and your health.

I used to be so stressed about what other people thought and making sure people were happy and liked me. Then I split from my ex, turned 40 and got a sleeve.

Now I do what feels right for me and bugger what other people think. If they don't like me for who I am, their loss.

Isn't it great to hwith people who get it. This is a great place to have a 'sooky la la moment' (love that phrase and will be using it future) with like minded souls who get it. such a lovely cyber community.......

You go gurl!! I don't doubt for a second that you will reach your goal and be the right weight for you.

Jealousy aside, I think that some people simply find it hard to get their head around how much we have changed. Perhaps they see us as being all consumed with the weight loss... I have been that person, a year or so ago I was worried about a friend who was on a real exercise kick and she didn't look like she had any weight left to lose, I would describe her as skinny, yet she said she had several kgs to go. I brought the subject up with her because she seemed obsessed to the point that it wasn't healthy (which I am not suggesting is the case with you). She said that to be the healthiest and fittest that she could be she needed to keep going. It was a nice enough conversation, and yes she did keep going and she looks amazing now (albeit she has to keep REALLY tight reins on food, drink and exercise to maintain it). She is a good friend and I only wanted the best for her, I guess I thought to my size 18/20 self that I if looked like her then I would be only too happy to rest and enjoy it!! Perhaps I was worried that she would be too obsessed to enjoy the odd bit of wine and cheese with me?! So now I totally get it being just a few all important kgs away from goal, and she has been so supportive through my sleeve journey and we still do enjoy the odd wine - just not as much for either of us now!

Thanks again for all the positive comments and support. Even before losing weight I am the kind of person that truly doesn't care what people think of me. If you don't like me then it is your problem. That's the way I see it. It's the same in this case as well. I truly don't give a rats arse what people think but it is very frustrating. I just needed to have a little sooky la la moment about it and be a bit precious. All is good and I WILL be what ever weight I want to be........because I can.

So far I have only had nice comments. (except for not long after going back to work someone said I looked great but my face looked crap) nice!!!!!!!

I expect any negative comments will come from mum. My mum is really competitive and once I weigh less than her it will on......................