Fear, changing your mind and so forth

I think some of the stress and doubt beforehand is because we relate having the surgery to accepting we have failed at the weight loss game (which is so wrong!!). Now that I am sleeved I think I won the weight loss world series because I was brave enough to do something scary to help myself, when I didn't know anyone in the whole world that had had it done. I put my money on my life and I won.
Vronnie I loved your piece about the clothes, too true!!

Hi all,

Its perfectly fine to s&^t yourself,and expected too!!

We are after all electively choosing to do this to ourselves, with its attendant risks..so there is always going to be doubts.And thats fine.

Even I, a research junky, and who spent years mulling over bariatric surgery, had second thoughts and worries
when those stupid hats and gowns were put on pre-op! It hit me when I said good bye to my family pre-op at the check in desk for surgery. Finally hit me...what the f*ck am I doing?...why am I risking all this?...my life perfectly fine...look at their little faces...I may never see them again...what a selfish, vain b**ch I am!!..how can I put them through this??

But I went through it anyway..

Why....

because I wanted to be a better mum...a mum who runs about and has fun with her kids, doesnt just film it from the sidelines..and I want to be around for their kids to grow up...I wanted to be a wife who is happy with herself and her life and shows her husband how happy she is to have chosen him and this life to live with him. and a woman who can look in the mirror without the shadows of sorrow and disappointment behind her eyes, despite the jolly face she puts on to her friends and family. And I guess I just wanted to be happy.

A bit dramatic I know , and I hadnt expected it to be pre-op but geez all these feeling came out and then stayed there!

I crapped my pants pre-op...and went through with it anyway cos deep down I knew that however many kg's I lost, Id just put em back on again...like I always had..and I just wasnt up to that anymore...I'd had enough. Somewhere the research and the facts and logic kicked in and I knew that this was the only way for me...and I grabbed it with both hands.

Ive been at goal for the last 7 months and I havent looked back.

Its OK to feel scared, its OK to doubt your decision, and is a very normal part of 'electing' to have any surgery really.

I dont know if its the right thing for you...all I know is that is was definitely the right one for me.

Deb

I was slightly different to everyone else. I wanted the surgery and I wanted it now cause I new id die otherwise so I wasn't concerned about dieing on the table

I have never been more scared of anything in my life as i was the day before my Op and the morning of it, and yes i did try to convince myself that no one would think badly of me if i posponded it all, after all the opti was working so well. But there was someone who would of thought badly of me for posponing and that was me, i waited a long time to be able to defeat my battle with fat and an early death and i wasnt about to give in to my fears.

Your fears and concerns are all normal, we all had them, but one thing i promise you is this time next week you will be wondering what you were worried about. All the best for your sleeve and a quick recovery

warmly

Mandy

Seriously though there is one bad thing you have to give due consideration.......you will shop for clothes....then you'll shop for more clothes....more clothes ......it goes on & on because it seems like suddenly you have so much choice....everything you'll try on will look great or else you'll have just shrunk out of your suddenly baggy clothes AGAIN....

Will your clothes cost more than all the excess food you used to eat.....maybe they will...

Will your clothes cost more than the future health problems you'll be saving....probabley not....

Hope your daughter is ok now,such a worry

I think a lot of us wonder the same thing.

But I know that I've lost weight on a billion diets - but I last about 6 weeks and that's it - I give up and regain. Optifast is hardly sustainable - there's no way on earth I could have stuck to it for 14 weeks (which is how long ago I started pre-op diet - I'm 12 weeks post-op) and lost 20kg.

I also have no choice on the sleeve. I physically CANNOT binge. I can binge and cheat diets and while I can have a little junk now, it's so unimportant because it's so small. I spent Friday/Saturday in the children's hospital with my daughter, and all I could eat was sandwiches and potato chips and iced tea... so carby stuff. I still lost about 500g while I was in there. lol.

Micksta - I have followed your diary, awesome results. I guess that is just it, worrying that I will cark it on the table lol, not seeing family etc, just normal fears I figure.

I know it is a common operation. This time next week it will have been done.

I know all about those doubts..a few days out from surgery and i was thinking of excuses to tell the clinic and see if i could postpone for a few months... then i sat back and thought 'more excuses' been making them for years. I tried every diet also...

I will be upfront and say i was packing it the night before and the day of surgery, it was an arvo surgery so i had to wait what seemed like forever before being wheeled in. I was having thoughts of dying on the table. Then i thought i will be dead in 10 years if i dont do anything about my weight.

I have absolutely no regrets. I started at 159kgs, am now 129kgs. 30kgs gone and i feel great. I am still very much overweight but the difference i feel is amazing. I want to lose another 30, can only imagine what that will feel like. My new life has started already and those that know me, can see the positive difference this is making..

its all good.

i have to agree with the others,i have tried nearly every diet in the book,lost weight every diet,just could not keep it of,like someone said in another post,i would get compliments then start eating badly again,i have still to be sleeved,but i know i will be going through with it for health reasons,and to get my life back.

Hi Suge

Ditto to what Michelle and Kate have both said.

Mate its brillant, and you are going to love your sleeve like we do.

I am 58, had been overweight all my adult life, and I had the surgery for health reasons, my body had had enough of carrying the weight around.

I am 2 years post op, now fit and healthy and loving life.
Its all the little things that I can now do that I love, little things just like getting up off the lounge or floor, running with the grandkiddies, being able to sit comfortably in a plane seat and cross your legs as well......LOL.......etc etc etc the list goes one.

Good luck with your surgery and journey.

Hey Suge, I totally agree with what Michelle has said. I had screaming voices of doubt in my head but after meeting Michelle and reading everything on here the voices dulled and I started to get excited. I think by reading everything on here daily it made the surgery and post op life more familiar and I became less and less worried. I am now 14 weeks post op, I have lost 29kg, had my 3 month check up yesterday with Dr Taylor and dietician and got glowing reports. You can do this Suge, you have come this far and I guarantee you will feel so much better. Good luck mate, not long to go now. Keep us posted.

Thanks for the encouraging words Michelle.

You are right on the cycle of diets though.

Appreciate the encouragement.

Just nerves honey. We all felt that way.

I lost 6 kgs in the two weeks before surgery on optifast, and my Mum said, 'Look, why don't you just continue? You can lose it with optifast!'

You and I BOTH know the answer to this, Suge. Yes. We are EXPERT dieters! We can lose at least 15 KG on any diet!

THEN:

We reward ourselves because we have been so good, and people are starting to comment, and notice...So we get comfy, eat more, and pretty soon the kilos creep on again, plus 5 more!

Then the cycle starts again. Jenny Craig this time! Or Healthy Choice? You name them, I've successfully lost about 15 kg with them, and gained 20 kilos after finishing them. I have wasted the cost of my surgery on diet food three times over!!

I felt as you did. It is a major change in your lifestyle, and it is hard to credit, but it is THE best decision you will EVER make. Trust me! I am 8 months out, and I have lost 97% of my excess body fat! I have just eaten a small fillet steak with mushrooms and mashed potatoes for dinner! I can still eat normally, I am just full after a small amount of what I love!

You can do this! Have courage.

Michelle

I am guessing we all go through the doubt phase, or maybe not.

I am a week out and find I am having second thoughts. I am looking at my losses after 1 week on pre op and thinking, I can do this without surgery. I know it is my mind playing tricks on me.

I also have a concern with the "what if" factor.

Just nerves, or legitimate concern? Thoughts guys?