peoples reactions

Hey everyone =]

I'm 18 and will most likely be getting sleeved at the end of this year or beginning of next and have decided it's just safer not to talk to friends about it. Only my parents know and i'd rather keep it that way. I am worried though as to the reactions my friends may have when I lose weight... has anyone experienced losing friends due to jealousy of weight loss after sleeve??

I told my close friends and they didn't have a problem with it, they don't judge me at all. I only have one friend who is the really worrier and before my op kept sending me links to websites saying 'just making sure you have all the info', but in fact she was trying to convince herself I was going to be ok, poor dear. Now I am 3 weeks post op and she still emails/texts me everyday asking if how I am.



Good luck tomorrow Jag.

thankyou all you lovely people. good luck tomorrow Jag

At first I wasnt going to tell anyone but family.However I have "come out of the closet"and am having my op tomorrow.Loads of support and it has been much easier to be up front over the last 2 weeks of Opti Fast when visiting etc,organising pets to be fed and lift to hosptial!Had wine and food loving mates stay last weekend who offered to abstain and eat veges too but I said sillies and they were great

At the end of the day its your decision and damn the rest of them!

Good luck and big hugs to you.



PS I would look closely at that friends true feelings.Jealous??

Quinn,



At the end of the day you are an adult and have made a decision that affects you and your life...its noones business but yours...and yes i can relate to that exact friend....and i now dont say a thing...if she cant support me i dont support her on her problems i turn a blind eye to it and i dont offer my advice anymore...dont drop to her level noone is perfect and if this is gonna make you happy & healthy GO FOR IT....you have all the support in here from the great family of Sleevers who will give you honest and encouraging information ....i love this forum cause i can rant and rave without judgement lol



Good luck with it and think positive:)

quinns wrote:

hi all you sleevers, am new to the site and love learning about your journeys. im getting sleeved next month, here in perth. and i just told a good friend what was going on, and oh wow, wasnt that a mistake, i am not repeating to anyone else! silly me thought i would get understanding and suport from a friend that knows my issues with health, related to my weight. she had me in tears saying why couldnt i diet, exercise more, it was easy to do. i wasnt expecting the hostility, my family are all with me and ready to help with what they can.why cant people believe its an informed decision ive made after much though/research and questions and sole searching?

quinns

I am 2.5 years post sleeve. I told a few people who I knew I could trust. The rest i did not. My mum knows, but not my brother or sister and only a 3 of my friends who were all very supportive, I was lucky. However, a few people I did not have a clue how they would react, so i did not tell them. As time moves on, so do our lives. I have not told my new friends/work colleagues about it and I am so glad i have not. The only ones I have told are those who have had band/sleeve and advertised it openly but i did not tell them all, just a couple I was close to at work.



In hindsight i am glad i did not tell many people. Not everyone has a smooth journery and reaches their goal quickly. Everyone is travelling a different journey, no two sleevers are the same. I still not have reached goal. That is one major factor why i am glad i did not openly advertise it. I dont need to have people comment on my not reaching goal yet. Interestingly, I have sat in discussions about weight loss surgery and not mentioned mine and have heard some not so nice things and negative comments and those who are brave enough to say they would not do it. I was 164Kg at my heighest weight. If I were not so big, i would not have done it. So, you see everyone is different, even those with the sleeve. If i were 120Kg, my height of 170cm, I would not have had the sleeve yet there are people here smaller than that weight wise who have the sleeve. It is not for anyone to judge our reasons even eachother because we all make this decsion for different emotional and physical reasons.



Best of luck in deciding who you decide to tell but do consider that it's not just the day of the operation. People dont forget if you tell them and will comment on what you eat/dont eat, how much you have lost ect and for me i am glad i am not under the scrutiny of every set of eyes that knows me!

I'm sorry you didnt get the supprot you needed from a friend. I have decided not to tell anyone because of judgements people make and the fact that i dont want to explain myself all the time...and shouldnt have too. I have had a band prviously and didnt tell anyone about that besides my husband either for the same reason.

I have a close friend that has other friends with bands and just hearing her comments and judgements about her own friends made me realise that its info not everyone needs to know.

At the end of the day you have made the decision you feel is right for you and what anyone else thinks doesnt matter. Just try and think of the positives and how much of your life, health and the body you will get back after the surgery. Good luck with your journey.

Oh and youve come to the right place for support...everyone here understands. Its a wonderful site full of support and info from the people that have experienced it themselves.

yep lost a 'friend' over it but looking back she was more a frenemy and good riddance to her!

I found the same on my decision, some aren't supportive and to be honest it's better to found this out now Vs when you really need the support. I had some so called friends that where supportive but once I started losing the weight they changed. I have a lot of health issues and this year has been a bad year for them, so I have had a fair few hospital stays. Now I don't expect friends to visit or even call, they have lives but when they turn it to "she doesn't get that a friendship is not all about her" this is what I got back. They are people that you don't want. Maybe this friend is jealous? Does she have a weight issue? She may want to lose weight and is jealous because you are taking control of your life and addressing it vs sitting back and waiting. I am sure there are a lot of other ladies that will say by no means is this the easy way. It has it's hard days also.



Big hugs to you and good luck on your journey....

My faimly was supportive because they had seen my mum do it. Most of my friends weren't. The funny thing is now 3 have had the sleeve done and a few more are on there phi waitting period.



I love my sleeve

If she can't support you in this decision, they maybe she isn't a friend at all. You have all the support from your family, and that's all you need!!!! Anyway, who needs friends like that, when WE support your decision..

Just wanted to give you a Sorry you didn't receive the support from your friend but it's great to hear your family are on board. People will always surprise you!

hi all you sleevers, am new to the site and love learning about your journeys. im getting sleeved next month, here in perth. and i just told a good friend what was going on, and oh wow, wasnt that a mistake, i am not repeating to anyone else! silly me thought i would get understanding and suport from a friend that knows my issues with health, related to my weight. she had me in tears saying why couldnt i diet, exercise more, it was easy to do. i wasnt expecting the hostility, my family are all with me and ready to help with what they can.why cant people believe its an informed decision ive made after much though/research and questions and sole searching?

quinns