Being open with your family and friends

Only my sister knows that I plan to have the surgery. I feel at this stage no one else needs to know, not even my grown up kids. I will tell them after I have seen the surgeon and a definite date has been set.

Well today I got an email for a "big girls" store... well I finally hit the unsubscribe button today and it went to the internet and you had to put in why you were unsubscribing... I typed - I don't need these sizes anymore!! Geese it felt good.... It gives me more incentive to not get any bigger before surgery!

I also opened my big mouth to my mum tonight.... I rang Mum and Dad to say hi, and I ended up telling mum... I knew I couldn't keep it from her! I said you can tell Dad when you think the time is right as I don't want him worrying about it while he is driving (they are driving to Melbourne this week)..... She was a bit taken aback but said "you are a grown up now" so I can make decisions on my own but understands that I have been struggling all of my life! Don't know how Dad will react though... that is another story... but I know that I am doing the right thing. Mum said make sure you get heaps of counselling before you have it.... but I said I feel 100% comfortable in my decision and she was happy with that.... I told her about the forum and meeting people on Sunday... and how fabulous you all are!

Bring on 21st Dec!

No you definately dont need it Ricie...BUT can you imagine their faces with each week's losses...I would get a giggle outta that!!

Initally only told a few people, now more know but not everyone.

One person I must tell is that chick at weight watchers who keeps sending me junk mail to rejoin. I really dont need it anymore...and that is such a comforting thing to know that

I told everybody, I got 100% support. A lot of fears for the surgery itself of course. And I swear not one of them can get their head around the fact it is a sleeve. they go around telling everybody that the male of the species and I have had bands or bypasses never a sleeve *LOL* no matter how many times I re explain it all to them ;) Now you might experence some people having big fears for you, please take it as it is intended just love. Do not get your panties all in a twist and feel people are trying to tell you how to live your life. I see so many people get so uptight about good intentions from others before surgery. It is upto you how you take it. You can not control how others express their love and concern for you no matter how annoying it can be you can only learn to take it as it is intended rather than in a huff :)

Be warned you know what a bible thumping evangelist is. now think that about weight loss surgery because I swear after surgery when you go out and see others who need the surgery it is like your hand is reaching for your weight loss surgery bible and you want to bash em with it *LOL* It is shocking you feel this over whelming urge to spread the word. Now 99% of us do not do it but oh so many of us feel it hehehehe

applesauce

Hi Missy

Hope your surgery goes well. I didn't want to tell anyone, but ended up telling just about everyone. I was really petrified to tell the in-laws but had to because I work for them. They were surprisingly supportive. I haven't had one bad comment yet I guess I've been lucky. In the end if you feel comfortable with decision stuff everyone else.

Hi Missy,

I told my Dad and my two sisters along with a few close friends. So far every one has been very supportive, except for about 2 people, they just can't wrap their head around it. They think that I should do it on my own, like its so easy. I feel that this is a personal decision that I've made for me and only me. I can give a rat's ass what anyone has to say or think. LOL.. But, I completely understand your concerns. I say do what best suits you personally. Don't let anyone steal your thunder.

Be Happy!!!

Hi Missy,

I told everyone that had ears. I just thought I am doing this it is the right thing for me and was amazed that
a few people that I told said that they were booked in as well.

We are all different and handle the telling in different ways, just do what is comfortable for you and know
that you are doing this for the most important person in the whole world. YOU.

Big hugs and good luck for tomorrow.

Gail.

Hi everyone,

Thanks so much for the support! I really appreciate all your comments and find them really comforting. I guess this forum is good due to the fact that everyone here understands what each of us are going through.

Look forward to hearing more of your stories and updating you on my progress.

Ive only told a small group of people and just before my surgery I shared it with two of teh managers from work and those two guys have been so supportive. I fact one said that he was happy I was having it because he worries about me.

I think as you go along you can tell the ones that will be supportive.

The only people in my family that know is my husband, sister and niece, I think people will wonder whats up in October as
I have a big family dinner to go to and the amount I can eat now is a vast difference to what I would have eaten prior to surgery.

Good luck tomorrow

Firstly a big welcome to you :)

How exciting...tomorrow morning, when you get a chance pop into the Sept sleevers, there are quite a few of us having the op this month and all of us are willing to share our stories as we go along.

Now to your post...yep I do believe its such a personal decision on who to tell....we are all in different circumstances. Myself I tell anyone and everyone, I am finally happy for me so blow anyone elses opinions on what I am doing...my pop was like gee girly thats a bit drastic isnt it...once I told him all about it he stopped...only one neg from a friends sister (whom I will add was cancelled by the same surgeon as me until she got PHI, so I think she is a bit bitter) but her opinion counts towards nothing anyway

Good luck for tomorrow...when you are feeling A1 again come back and tell us all how you went...I love hearing everyone's stories

Hiya Missy181.....
I told my best friend who had suggested to me in a very distant way that it could be an option for me and she was delighted, I told my partner and he has been very supportive though a bit lost at times......then the day before surgery I told my daughters who both live in other parts of the country and my mother. I was amazed and encouraged by their responses but hey, they have watched me try various methods before and know what I have been through.
I just told them I was having surgery to help with weight loss. Of course they all asked me what was going to be done, and I told each of them what they needed to know at that time.
Now we just tell anyone who needs to know because i can't eat anything just yet and if it's offerred it could seem rude. I have had no one questin me as to why I had surgery.
I didn't tell my dad till I had had the surgery as his wife is a worrier.
Good luck and stay with the forums they are very helpful :)

Hi Missy181,

I only recenly told my immediate family and a couple of close friends. I haven't told anyone at work. I suppose coz I don't want them to think less of me by not being able to do it on my own. Maybe when I have lost a substantial amount of weight I might say something, but then maybe I won't. It's none of their business.

I didn't have to do the opti diet, but have read on here that it isn't about the weight lost it's about your liver not being so fatty.

Good luck for tomorrow. I'm due to be sleeved on Tuesday.

Welcome to the forum, and best of luck for tomorrow morning.

It really is a personal decision, and if you dont feel like you want to tell people then don't. I initially didn't tell people (when I was asked I just said that I had been doing the shakes, which wasnt a complete lie), but after a while I decided to open up and tell people how I really had lost the weight. I find that most people are so happy and proud of me for taking the step to lose weight, and since 99% of people don't know about the sleeve I end up educating them.

The few negative reactions I have encountered isn't actually so much about the operation itself, it's because people think that I am too young to have had such a big operation, and they have told me that perhaps I should have waited another couple of years. The way I look at it is, right now I didnt have any health complications because of my weight, but given another couple of years this would have been a completely different story (I have a strong family history of both type 2 diabetes, and heart disease).

Good luck with everything, and I look forward to hearing all about it when you get back.

xx
Tamara

Hi everyone,

I'm new to the forum and booked to be sleeved tomorrow morning at 6:00am. I'm excited about my new life that is about to start. I'm a bit worried because i haven't lost so much weight on the Optifast diet. But hope that i'll still pull through OK.

I would like to hear a few opinions on what fellow sleevers have told family/friends. Only my immediate family and fiancee know about me having the surgery. I want to tell people but i'm afraid of what they will say or think. I know that my dad at first thought that i was taking the easy way out. I'm kind of scared of the ridicule from others as well. I guess i'm embarrassed because its this feeling of "I wasnt strong enough to do it on my own."

But i know now that i'm going to have to be super strong to start my new healthy life.

Anyone have any ideas or experiences they can share with me to help me open up to my friends?

Thanks and best wishes to everyone