Am I making the right decision?

Hi Bails, I don't know if you are still reading these posts but I hope that what I write might help. I Have 13 days until I have my sleeve and as it gets closer the butterflies get more active. I'm lucky in that I have 3 friends who have had the sleeve with my surgeon and I can talk with them.

I decided 4 years ago that surgery was the right choice for me, it took until August 2014 for me to take the step forward and all I regret now is that I waited so long. My friends told me about being on optifast so I wanted to get my body use to it. I have tried shake diets before and always failed and knew that if I wanted the op then failure wasn't an option.

In August I started with just one optifast a day, normally lunch as if I had it for breakfast then I would get a headache and be cranky all day. By the end of September I was on optifast 2 meals a day, still couldn't do breakfast though. At this stage I had lost 3kg and was happy with that, by the time I had my first appointment with the surgeon at the end of November I was able to do full days on optifast but not 2 in a row but I had lost 10kg.

I was given my surgery date and told that I would have to be on optifast for 4 weeks before the op. This gave me all of December and half of January to get to the point where I could survive on optifast alone (and a few select vegetables of course). I set myself a goal and now with less than 2 weeks to go I find that most days I'm not hungry and I don't mind the optifast. I feel that by adjusting slowly to the change it made it easier, mind you some of my friends thought I was nuts to be on optifast longer than needed but it worked for me and even before the surgery I have lost 20kg and reached my self appointed goal pre op weight.

Everyone has a different journey and method of getting to the end and no way is the right way, you have to find a way that works for you. Having a supportive family helps and while some people don't advertise that they are having this surgery I have let everyone at work know and the support has been amazing specially when I have a bad day and start to reach for the comfort foods I love, the looks and comments have helped to keep me on the right path.

All the best Bails and I hope that you get to the point where you are ready to take this leap.

Yes Bails, Shrinking Violet said it all. You are welcome to continue to read and post and ask any questions you might have. It will help you and no doubt others still thinking about having the sleeve.

Bails, don't forget to keep using this forum even though you have postponed surgery. There are a number of people on here who have not had surgery or have benn contemplating surgery for a couple of years and waiting until their head is in the right place.

This forum is not just for Sleevers it's for people wanting support and information too.

I think you have made the right decision for you AT THIS POINT IN TIME. Please stay on the forum and let us know how things go.

All the best to you Bails, whatever you decide.  Maybe now that you don't have the pressure of a date you can think more clearly and come to the decision that is right for you.  Keep in touch.

Well done Bails, for having the courage to what is right for you!
You will find so much information on here. I wish you well...


Life is great.

Good decision Bails, whatever way you go I wish you the best for the future. You must do what you feel is right for you.

Good on you bails! It sounds like you've made a decision you can be at peace with. Good luck working with the psych and your research, and remember we're always here for you.

Thanks everyone for your kind words and support. I have decided to postpone the op. I will meet my surgeon in a few weeks and talk to him about my feelings and anxiety. I then hope to meet with a psychologist to unlock my fears. I really do need to be mentally prepared for this. I didn't believe the gastric sleeve to be a major operation but with extensive readings I found that it is and not to be taken lightly. I was going in with very little knowledge and as I began to research a few days ago it dawned on me that this is quite serious and physically and mentally demanding. I felt a huge weight being lifted off my shoulder when I rang the surgeons secretary to post pone the op. Now to work on being more ready! Thank you, thank you, thank you so very much to those who have read my posts and replied. I felt alone until now! 

Hi there,

I am not sleeved.... So I can not offer a lot of advice really in this matter..... Just that, you are not the only one feeling this way. When I read your post, it was like I had written it myself.
For me, I postponed the procedure last June (I was having a hernia repair and thought to get the sleeve at the same time) I just got the hernia repaired.
Whilst I do feel a bit miffed, that, had I had it done then, I prob would be at goal now.....but I'm glad I didn't hastily decide on it then. I'm still not 100% about it and for me, I'm not deciding until I am really sure.
I'm not advising you either way..... As I really don't know myself. I just wanted you to feel like there are others out here with the same fears and worries.

Ginger x

its completely normal to have doubts BUT if you are really freaking out maybe postpone.

My suggestion be 100% honest with yourself and make and a pro and cons list - get all your emotions on paper  and see how you feel after that.

its not something you want to rush into and regret later

Bails

Again I would say if you are really anxious and scared about this it might be better to postpone the op until you are more sure it is for you.

Not sure of your history, but for me as I said before it was a health thing. Sure I lost some weight before the surgery, in fact 10kgs by watching what I ate and another 12 on Opti, but I know that would not have continued and I was just as likely to have put it back on. I was on Opti for 4 weeks but could not have done much more than that and coped because I knew I only had to do it for a short time.

I, like many other here, have put on and taken off and put on again so much weight and it was not a good lifestyle. I knew if I didn't shift some significant weight my life was not worth living and that the weight was making my pain worse.

I also know it was the cause of my high blood pressure, sleep apnoea and would lead to diabetes so it made the choice easier but not easy. But I am 57. So I HAD to do something.

Why not take a bit of extra time to  make the decision, try the opti for a time with a mindset of doing it for the Op (otherwise you will probably give in too easily) but do it remembering what people here have said, you will have some issues for the first few days.

This is a non reversible operation, which is what I liked about it, so you need to be in the right mindset to do it. The restrictions re only fluids, only puree, only soft foods are only for a short period of your life and while you think you can't do it, surely knowing what the ramifications could be if you cheat (eating the wrong type of food too soon) will keep you on track, and the delight on losing weight will help you stay there.

You sound like you are suffering from your anxiety and I know that is not pleasant. Please talk to someone professional before doing the surgery. You can always reschedule if and when you are ready.

I certainly would not advise you to either have or not have the sleeve, only you can decide that, but I really think you need to be sure that is what you want and I don't think you are sure.
Good luck

I'm with Wendy on this one. If you are having more than just the normal pre surgery jitters....if you REALLY are having doubts....don't do it.

You don't have to cancel all together but you can delay it until you are in a better head space or until you are more comfortable with your decision. 

This is not something to take lightly and by having these doubts, it's obvious you realise that this is major life changing stuff. Your commitment needs to be 100% that this is what you want.

I suggest you talk with your surgeon about your doubts and see if they are real doubts or just fear of surgery. Your surgeon shouldn't go ahead if you show any hesitation.

This is a difficult dilemma for a lot of successful Sleevers on here because they want to encourage you to go ahead and tell you that everything will be fine but truth be told what might be a successful outcome for one person may not be for another so there is a reluctance to encourage anyone into surgery if they just aren't mentally ready for it.

Hey Bails,

Bails wrote:

"Am I making the right decision?" 

The truth is, only you can answer that question for yourself.  I hate to discourage you from the sleeve as I think it is an excellent option and I have no regrets for myself, HOWEVER, if I was feeling as unsure as you seem to be, there is no way I would be going ahead with it.  I think QQ's suggestion of some counselling is a very good one.  I'd love to say "Just do it!" but it is the rest of your life and YOU need to be sure that this is what you want to do.  Delaying it is not cancelling it and could give you some extra time to sort out some of your feelings and concerns. It doesn't mean you miss out by not doing it now.

I was one of the people who was pretty calm leading up to the operation. I had a few niggling doubts now and then (mostly about the unknown), but nothing big enough to put me off.  I felt like my quality of life was already going down hill (sleep apnoea and other health/weight issues effecting my work and my lifestyle).  I researched it to death and couldn't find any better solution than this - so at this point in history the sleeve is the best option available in my opinion.  For me now, it all seems to be working out (although I am only 4 months from having had surgery and have the rest of my life to get through, lol).  

To get my head in the right place, I was pretty thorough... I Google researched to death, reading journal articles, watching videos on Youtube, watching videos on different surgeons websites and watching some really great documentaries on ABC and SBS that happened to be on about fat/gut flora/weight loss/etc. and I also found this site (which is amazing!).  I went to initial consults with 2 different surgeons and was planning a 3rd surgeon consult too but decided the 2nd one was a good choice so didn't need to.  One of my favourite things to do was to simple look at before and after photos of people who had been sleeved - those transformations are SOOOO INSPIRATIONAL!!!!

Not to pressure you too much but if there are only 4 days to go, I think it would be fair to your surgeon to let them know as soon as you can if you are wanting to delay.  If you leave it til the last minute they are less likely to be able to slot someone into your spot in the schedule and there are always others out there trying to get in earlier.

Like I said, I'm pro-sleeve but your decision is yours and we can't tell you whether it's the right decision for you.  Sorry!

Big hug though and best wishes for your decision,

Hi Bails,
sending you a
I was sleeved on July 30th 2014
Heard about the sleeve about 4 weeks before I met my surgeon on 3rd July and had op on 30th July.
All very quick for me.
I only had a few weeks to prepare/psych myself up for it. (my choice)
"Nothing ventured, nothing gained" has always been the way I have lived my life, and I have no regrets.
I don't think there would be too many people that have been sleeved, that have not thought exactly how you are feeling. Maybe it's just time to bite the bullet, and go, go, go, (Sometimes we can over think things.)
I also don't think there would be to many  people that didn't have 2nd thoughts as they were about to go into the theatre.
Fear of the unknown is quite normal. This is the 1st operation I have had, that was my choice.. That  took a bit for me to get my head around.
I thought of it as improving my quality of life... (I had none before)
So it was a no brainer for me.
Now, nearly 6 months later and I am about 35kg lighter, and from size 26 clothes down to normal size 18's, even into some size 16's.
The way my confidence has improved, is unreal. I just feel so much happier now. AND, love shopping... the money I used to spend on shit food, I now spend on clothes.
Someone told me this when my husband died, hope it helps you, as it did me.
Sometimes we just have to take a leap,
and build our wings on the way down.

My life is truly great and yours can be too......

Elly

Hi bails.  Only you can make this decision but you can get help in making it. As I mentioned on your other post, maybe some sessions with a psychologist would help you come to a conclusion you're at peace with. It's normal to go into this with some trepidation and it's also normal to hate opti! But the opti is just short term not the rest of your life.

I can't tell you what to do - but from what you said, if it was me - I would postpone.
Do your research, do the liquids, and get mentally prepared for what you are venturing into.

If you don't, you will resent your choice, and possibly not make the most of the opportunity.
It them becomes yet another self-fulfilling prophesy - and yet another failure.

Where are you located?
Can you meet with a/some sleevers? Talk to them, get the real picture of what you are going to get into? Especially the early days.....

You need to be mentally prepared - the body will then follow.

Best of luck
xx

PS - I'm in Melbourne and happy to meet if you are here too!

I'm having my sleeve done in 4 sleeps time. Up til now I was quite Blaise about the whole thing thinking I would be fine, no issues it will be just like having the band. After reading updates from this site I am even more in panic mode. Everyone has been mentally prepared for it and I feel I'm not. 
I just started optifast yesterday and after 1 day I feel like I'm in hell. Headaches, anxiety attacks, nausea and dry wrenching. I cried all night with issues and severe doubts about doing this procedure. For goodness sakes I can't do a day on opti let alone a life time commitment on sensible eating. I've tried talking to my husband but he just shakes his head.
I don't know what I'm really scared more of. The actual operation, the fear of something going wrong and then having to do gastric bypass or not coping with the first few weeks on fluids.
I question myself on whether I should be having this op or do I postpone it? I would really like to hear any advice or support.