Regrets?

Hi Suzy, I'm really glad you posted here. Your experience over the last 18 months is incredible and its important that everyone considering this surgery is aware of the things that can go wrong.

I can relate to so much of what you say. I agree with your up front approach when looking for the right surgeon and keeping the weight off without surgery. It is quite frightening to understand that you were a positive and healthy person to start off with and yet now you are in this position. This is how I see myself, as a healthy person, and ending up with complications is my greatest fear. I do however, really appreciate your positive attitude in the face of all this adversity and to hear that you still don't regret it is amazing.

My surgery date is a week away and I'm still not sure of my decision. My fear of complications is blinding me at the moment, and this teamed with how great I feel on Optifast is totally confusing me. I also have a little complication which means the surgery may not even be able to go ahead and I guess this is helping to cloud my judgement because I can't just be 'OK , let's do this' until I see the surgeon on Wedneday and get the results of all tests.

The surgery is booked for next week because I needed to time it outside of some work pressures that I will be facing in the next three months.

I was sent by the surgeon to have a barium swallow because I mentioned I had some reflux. That came back generally clear but with some irregular action happening at the at the opening to the stomach. I got the results of that test the day I went to sign consent so we delayed that and he sent me off for a manometry test.  This showed that I actually had a hiatus hernia and a lazy lower oesophageal sphincter.  The next test was to have a 24 hour PH monitoring done.  That was awful, and I won't get the results or even know if surgery can progress until I see the surgeon on Wednesday.  I'm expecting now that they will tell me I have GERD.  I'm pretty sure I have read somewhere that if you have GERD you need to have a bypass rather than a sleeve.  It all seems bizarre now because I don't have any reflux while I'm on Optifast and I feel fantastic.
A bypass is not an option for me, and it's one of the reasons I fear having the sleeve done, as I am told that complications may make a bypass necessary.  I don't want a bypass and would rather just be left struggling with my weight than to take that direction.
Ginger, thanks for your comments.  I don't have a diary, I'm not sure if I'll need one yet.  All will be decided on Wednesday I guess, whether I have surgery the following Monday or not - no pressure!

Hmmm I thought maybe I shouldn't post to this thread but I can't go past a thread entitled Regrets and not contribute. Especially as for so long I had a diary saying no regrets (til many if you are aware I deleted it as unfortunately I felt I could no longer say that, not to mention other concerns I won't go into here)


Yes I am one of those with complications and too long a story to repeat here to those that don't know. I usually try to sum it up simply like this....

So far
18months of complications. Several kinds, I am very unlucky!
18 hospital admissions
11 surgeries
20 endoscopies including a stent in/out, 4 dilitations, botox'd valve and more nasal feeding tubes than I can count
Onto my 4th tummy feeding tube, I've been continuously tube fed since last may.
Chronic pain requiring pain patches, meds and a pain specialist....about to consider a spinal chord transmitter (I really don't want)
Lost pay, medical bills and ongoing medication costs so far about $70k (with private health....they have had to pay out nearly $300k)

I have certainly lost weight but when recently asked by an X-ray assistant am I sure I couldn't have done this another way I did find myself thinking....with $70k and 18months could I have lost weight thru diet, exercise, hire a personal trainer, go to a retreat for a few months........hmmmmmm yes. Do I think it would have stayed off tho? No. I know it wouldn't. That I am definately sure of.

So I don't regret my decision. I did the right research, at the right time (am 36 and didn't want to put off my life anymore) with the right surgeon, who has had complications but it's how you deal with them that makes the difference. I'll take A surgeon not ashamed to say he has had complications, but gets in there and fixes them any day over someone who glosses over the definition of complication and leaves the patients hanging, or with a ''make an appointment in 2months " attitude. I have heard of a surgeon in SA whose had a couple of his patients end up in emergency and he doesn't want to know. Just says make an appointment. That's the difference in care to me and what I'd recommend you look into with your surgeon of choice....speak to patients who have had issues as that really is more important. At the end of the day all my issues were my body's fault not lack of skill or care by anyone in my medical team.

So, do I regret it. No not right now. Even though I'm in a lot of pain today and bed bound. Maybe it's cos I'm on good pain meds right now? I'm not sure. One thing I am so sure about though is I was truly miserable when I was overweight. I was Trapped and unhappy and never really myself. I had no psychical issues such as an illness or blood pressure etc. I was actually really healthy overweight so I get the comments from some about not needing to improve a specific health concern, but the mental toll of being fat was horrific. I am so glad that has gone. I just hope one day now all this has happenned I can get well at some point and see what this new slim body is capable of doing and what it must be like to not have any physical barriers.

All the best with your decision
Xx

My life felt miserable at 148kg. I was at the point that I hated waking up in the morning. I only left the house for work & when I had to. Made excuses not to socialise, wonder I have any friends left at all.
44kg less & I'm a different person, so much happier & know this is the last time I will have to lose this weight. I can stand at work for 8 hours without my knees & feet aching feeling like they're going to crush under my bulk & I'm still 104kg, so still a fair way to go.

I was lucky though & had no complications & everything went smoothly for me. I didn't even have to do the dye swallow the day after surgery, which I was grateful for after reading about it on here. I had the "what have I done?" feelings the first couple of days, but after that I have no regrets at all. Disappointed I have lost a fair amount of hair, but it's really been the only downside for me. I'm sure I might be feeling differently if I had any complications, but like I said I've been really lucky.  :)

Quote :

Oh what to do, what to do.

I am a very positive person generally.  I get really excited when I read the success stories and I am pumped and cant wait to have my surgery. I imagine myself fitting into size 10-12s again and the amazing feeling that comes with that.  Then I think of the benefits that being slimmer will bring with it  - the difference in the way people respond to you, the liberation of being able to move freely again, no snoring, more motivation to exercise and the list goes on. 

I am prepared to lose, then gain slightly again but I have read a few stories where people have not lost much weight at all or where they have gained an awful lot of weight again.  Why would I put myself through the experience of surgery because I am a failure only to find that I failed at that too.   

Its a difficult balance, I am positive and have made up my mind to do it, its just that I'm afraid that I may regret my decision and reduce my life expectancy.

Hi mummawhale,
Reading your posts, is like I had written them myself. I am with you and have agreed with you on many points. I was so glad to read your posts...they struck a chord with me. 
I too get carried away envisaging a different life and reading the success stories fuels my dreams.... But yes, the regrets people have, have scared me.

Good on you for taking the next step. I hope opti goes fast for you and your surgery is without complications and is smooth sailing post op.


I will be looking forward to see how you go. Do you have a diary?


Ginger

So everyone I just wanted to say thanks for all your advice.  I love some of the things you have to offer and it just helps to strengthen my decision.  I'm still terrified but I think my weight has now got so out of control I now really need this tool to help me pull it back in.  
I'm sorry I take so long to respond.  I have a busy life and when I get time I am distracted by the sheer amount of information that everyone has to offer on this site and then run out of time to post, especially when there is so much I want to say because so much of the experiences of others strikes a chord in my own thoughts.
My surgery date is booked for 17 March and I'm currently on Optifast.  The Optifast is great because the commitment that goes with it is very focussing and is helping me get psyched for the surgery.

I think the advise that if the risks of being overweight out weigh the risks of having the op is the best advise.  I had real worries going into it I had read through the diaries and came across 1 truly major problem that was still happening and the mention of a death that shook me to the core.  But my blood pressure was a growing problem and reflux was getting worse by the extra kilos that I kept putting on as my eating had been in overdrive.  My extended family history was grim and I knew I was going to join them very soon. Having said that if I am to be honest if I had been trawling the site in the months that followed my op I would not have had it done as there were several major problems on site that did overwhelm me.

For me that would have been a bad decision not to have it as I have had a virtual trouble free run.  I am terribly grateful for that my health is perfect got rid of all drugs I am not as good on the vitamins as I should be but my diet is varied and good.  I too are not as open to advising others to have the op because of what I do know of complications but i wouldn't tell someone not to have it either.  My own advise is to check closely the credentials of any surgeon you use and straight out ask if they have had many people with post op problems and what kind were they.  Pre op I thought this was a loaded question but now I think it is a possible life saving one.  Not all surgeons are the same I would give anyone with any complications a wide berth.

True....some surgeons take it as a personal insult if you get a complication. Make sure you find a good surgeon first and foremost.

I was sleeved in 2009 and have no regrets about having the surgery, although I wish I had addressed my eating issues in the earlier days as they are still there and I battle with them every day!!

My only suggestion is choose your surgeon wisely and make sure he is going to be their for you if things go wrong.

I was refused surgery twice. Both times the surgeon told me that the benefit wasn't worth the risk. I doctor shopped until I found a surgeon who would operate. To be honest, this surgeon didn't ask any questions and I didn't volunteer any information he didn't ask about. I knew this was an iffy scenario but was willing to ignore it.

I had a complication (not major, but quite unpleasant and still ongoing). I'm not surprised I had a complication....I have a life threatening medical condition not related to weight. I have impaired healing. I have not (yet) gained any health benefit from surgery and I've lost almost 18kgs. Yes, it's nice to cut my toenails easier but my health hasn't changed.

Only you and your GP and surgeon know if the benefits outweigh the risks. Research all you can, then discuss it with your doctors. Don't forget though that Surgeons have a vested interest in operating. Most people come through with flying colours, some have inconvenient and distressing minor problems and some have life threatening, fatal or chronic major complications.

I have no hesitation telling people about this surgery but I stop short of recommending it because it would be horrible I'd someone went ahead with the surgery and then got a complication.

In the end it's a decision only you can make because you know your own personal circumstances.

Hi muma

Yes there is risks in the sleeve however there is also the same chance if not higher risks with continuing to yo yo diet and gaining weight over time coz let's face it most of us with weight issues have had it all our lives and struggle every day trying to curb our food addiction, 

I had my surgery on the 16th of May 13 and had to loose nearly 60kgs , there isno way I could have done it on my own yes I prolly would have lost around 20 then gained 30 then lost 30 then gained 5 etc etc but I was so over the worry and judgement that being obese brings, I had a text book surgery I haven't had any issues , I can eat everything , drink anything, and as I get further on I am now finding I feel normal again ,Im not ruled by food or hunger , it's amazing how our lives revolved about food so much to it just changing to living a life and having fun and eating because you need to not just for the sake of it 

I am now only 3.3 kgs from my surgeons goal and omg how life has changed ! Everything is easier and I mean everything , walking, washing, swimming etc

It all basically come down to risks in life every day you run the risk of having a car crash and you have more chance of getting hit by another car than having a leak , you need to choose your decision and back it up with being positive 


If I only had 20 kgs to loose I wouldn't choose the surgery because yes it does change your relationship with food and I sometimes think oh I wish I could eat more if that it's yum HOWEVER that's the problem isn't it eating more than we need , but if I had my time again I would weigh weekly and if I got over weight by 5 kgs I would do something about it !!, from now on I will weigh weekly and if I even see a slight gain I will get it off as I am never going back to where I was !

Well what you all have to say is very interesting.  I like to go into things with my eyes wide open so I needed to ask the question.  In some ways I wish that I didnt.  I'm terrified again.    

I'm a fairly healthy person, both mentally and physically resilient.  I hate going to the doctors and put any visit off until I know I absolutely have to go.  I dont like taking pills and even when I do I usually forget a few days out (I struggle with antibiotics).  I starting on this path because 1. I am fat, 2. I despise myself being like this and 3. I was convinced I was about to be diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes and wanted to avoid having to take pills. 

Turns out all my bloods came back in the normal range (yipee) and I dont need to take pills.  Even still, I do know that it wont be long before some chronic illness manifests itself as my body will not be able tolerate carrying this much weight for much longer. 

So I start on the idea of a gastric sleeve after the info session with the doctor who is advocating sleeves over bands.  I like the idea of a sleeve because it appears that things will eventually settle down and life will maintain some normality.  We all would like to eat less, so having smaller meals, whilst is scares me that I'll hate it, will be what I've always though would be the answer to my obesity. 

Trouble is, the main reason I started on this idea, was to not have to take pills.  Now, after visiting the dietician I have found out that I will need to take vitamins for the rest of my life.  Let me tell you that if I forget to take antbiotics vitamin pills have got no chance.  I have started with many of them in the past too, but a few days later the novelty has worn of.  So not taking the vitamins I am looking at malnutrition, vitamin and mineral deficiencies. 

Then theres the associated health issues that come with the sleeve - gall bladder disease, reflux and the many other possiblities that others have experienced.  

Then theres the risk of the leak and who know how long that may take to be resolved.

All of a sudden my healthy person status and my need to keep health issues at bay have flown out the window.

Oh what to do, what to do.

I am a very positive person generally.  I get really excited when I read the success stories and I am pumped and cant wait to have my surgery. I imagine myself fitting into size 10-12s again and the amazing feeling that comes with that.  Then I think of the benefits that being slimmer will bring with it  - the difference in the way people respond to you, the liberation of being able to move freely again, no snoring, more motivation to exercise and the list goes on. 

I am prepared to lose, then gain slightly again but I have read a few stories where people have not lost much weight at all or where they have gained an awful lot of weight again.  Why would I put myself through the experience of surgery because I am a failure only to find that I failed at that too.   

Its a difficult balance, I am positive and have made up my mind to do it, its just that I'm afraid that I may regret my decision and reduce my life expectancy.

Sending lots of good thoughts to Veronica... I think you would have a malpractice case from what you have said!

I am 4 weeks out. And I think it might be too soon to say if I regret it or not. I didn't have major complications with my surgery, having minor complications were enough for me. My body went into shock, my teeth were chattering so hard I thought they would crack. And I had no control over my body. It was scary.
I was terribly nauseous, and spent the first night vomiting thick blood. And I have had a lot of swelling which has meant that my healing has been slow. But, again, the surgeon said my surgery went perfectly..
I have really turned a corner the past few days and have been able to get my fluids and soft foods down. But, it has been a lot harder than I thought. I think despite all the research and talking to people on the forums, I was naive about the surgery.

But, what is done is done! Now, I am focusing on the good things that this surgery is going to bring to me. My main is to get my PCOS under control so that my husband and I can have a family. If I manage that, then I will never ever have any regrets.

jagxclusive wrote:

I would though suggest you make sure that you are prepared for the risks, and they outweigh the risks you have now with your weight.

Wow, this line is incredibly powerful, Ive been struggling more with the vanity side of things - how will I look with batwings, will the scars from the surgery be gross, will my boobs deflate like fried eggs etc etc. 

Kinda brings the message home, I started on this course after my GP mentioned that from a clinical point of view, I am heading into a very dark place and need to do something drastic (ie surgery) to prevent that. I guess batwings are a very small price to pay to avoid an early grave, as is any risks I may face with surgery.

Health vs Aesthetics, when its written down, I feel like giving myself a mental slap!

Although I have been very fortunate to have no problems at all so far, I am 17 weeks out and my weight loss slowed up so much now already that I have been told to diet and go back onto opti or I will regain all of my weight. My comment to the dietician was if I knew this is all the weight I would lose, then I wouldn't have bothered with surgery. I lost 10kg on opti in 2 weeks, and have only lost 15 kg in 17weeks since surgery. I lose more on my old diets. On my own diets I always stop losing at about the 20kg mark. And it was when I reached this, my weight is sluggish to move off now. I am very weak and feel very lethargic, I had a lot more strength and energy when i was bigger. My thryoid went haywire with the fast weight loss ( I have hashimoto's) which gave me no end of trouble, but has only stabilized in the last few weeks. I miss enjoying water actually. I get very thirsty and hate sipping, so end up with cordial and ice and a straw to try and down it. I eat all foods, and I eat way too fast. Am finding that my tummy doesn't like garlic... i  loved garlic. I don't regret the surgery though, my blood pressure and blood sugars and insulin are perfect now. My decision to have the surgery was one of working out pros and cons. I was diving into an early grave, and gave up trying to control my weight. I was incredibly unhappy with myself, and choking in my sleep from the fat on my neck. It came down to taking the chance of an unsuccessful surgery versus an unsuccessful life, I actually had nothing to lose even if it didn't work out so well. In my case now, if I don't lose any more weight (I have 40kg more to lose to get to goal) well I am still in a far better place than if I hadn't tried. I would not recommend to everyone to have it, I would though suggest you make sure that you are prepared for the risks, and they outweigh the risks you have now with your weight.

I've been very fortunate. It has been a dream run so far for me, so my only regret is not doing it sooner.

Yes and no.

I had the band, then got it removed 11 months later as it was a complete failure with virtually no weightloss.  Three months later had the sleeve.  Four weeks later I was in Emergency as it had kinked over and I was severely malnourished and dehydrated unable to recognise which arm I lifted up, everything was so out of whack.  Had emergency bypass with almost three months in hospital and another two months after to recover.  Dropped a lot of weight in hospital and then it stopped and I started piling the weight back on rapidly.  The opening to the intestines was made too large so food wasn't holding in my stomach and just sliding through, so I was constantly hungry and constantly going to the loo.  Bypass revision with minimiser band next to hopefully prevent it stretching long term.  It feels tight, reflux is super bad and painful, I often wake up during the night in pain.  Then had gallbladder out (never wish a gallbladder attack on anyone!!).  He checked the minimiser band whilst under and said it was sitting perfectly so it must be the reflux pushing up that causes the tight/uncomfortable feeling.

I am glad I have lost most of the weight (77% of my excess weight so surgeon is very happy).  Stomach looks a mess with all the scarring which I hate.  I do still suffer from nausea and unable to have anything spicy, too fruity or acidic, no alcohol, breads etc.  Hoping this will calm down soon, I miss fresh pineapple but I have also lost interest in chocolate which is a bonus.

Veronica my thoughts are with you.

MW - thank you for your kind words. I'm glad you're going into this with your eyes open, and yes it's a very VERY real possibility that you may have complications from this surgery.

I also had a leak and my lungs collapsed - my leak was found however just over 24 hours after surgery, only just after I'd been moved out of ICU into the normal ward - I was put straight back into ICU, my surgeon & anaesthetist were called in on the Sunday morning and I was put straight back into surgery to have the leak fixed.
Whether it was because they caught it so quickly, or because of my age, I healed a lot better than a lot of others that have had leaks, and I was allowed to go home a week later.
I've had a couple of stomach infections over the last couple of years (I'm 2 & half years post op), a few bouts of dehydration, gotten gallstones, but that's about it.

Good luck.

Sometimes I have a whinge and complain, the permanency of losing most of my stomach did frighten me and I was very lucky in that my procedure went text book perfect, but I try to think of the bigger picture where if I hadn't of had the operation I would now be in excess of 120 kgs and being in lots of pain due to a lower back injury and miserable. Now I am 19 weeks post op and I am 95 kgs. The pain is getting better, and I am certainly getting around more than I ever did previously. Yeah so I can't eat and eat like I used to and I did so enjoy eating, but I am learning to enjoy living now, and it's great!

Hi Mummawhale,

I am just over 6 months post Sleeve and apart from the first three days, when I felt nauseated and miserable, I have never regretted my operation.  It seems to suit me but the concern over complications is very real and I did think long and hard over my decision. I researched my surgeon very well and traveled interstate to get the right one. I have lost 45 kgs so far, don't require any blood pressure tablets anymore and have not had any joint or back pain for months now. I have committed to permanently changing how  and what I eat. For me it is a small price to pay for the benefits it's given me.

Just got back from a shopping spree in Melbourne all size 10 and 12 clothes. Sweet.


cheers Nini

Little Miss Cee, thanks heaps for your advice.  It's just the type of advice I was looking for as I worry about regretting it when there is no turning back and I could have made a different choice.   I can see that I would have the same regret sometimes (especially over breakfast buffets) but the benefit of not carrying that extra weight around would definitely be the payoff.  At the end of the day I think we'd all like to eat a little less than we do, and the surgery just makes that possible. I have had a look over some of your diary entries and your photos and I think you are so cool.   You have done really well and you look fantastic.
It's great to see just how much your life would have changed and that's inspirational.

Hey Veronica, thanks for your post.  What an awful lot of trouble you have had.  It sounds like you have well and truly been screwed over by the health system and it's not fair.  To wait along as you have had to for treatment is rediculous.

I hope that you've got lots of supportive people around you to get you through these bad times and eventually come out the other side satisfied with the choice you have made.  I have read quite a few posts where people have had trouble in the early days post op, but eventually everything settles down.  I hope it does for you.

I do appreciate the advice you have to offer because it is a very sobering view of what other present as a really positive outcome from start to finish.  It help keeps it real and keeps the risks in perspective.

Holy mackinoly Veronica! Thats absolutely disgraceful to keep you waiting that long! 

Its amazing what can go wrong with 'Simple, Ive done it a thousand times' operations. My dad had a gall bladder out with a 1% chance of damaging a bile duct, which is of course what happened. ICU stay, flight to Melbourne to a bigger hospital, another operation to locate the problem and drain the bile. Another operation to put a stent in to stop the leak with a possible 5% of pancreatitis.. You guessed it, he gets the pancreatitis as well.. So on an at call morphine drip for the next two days.. Took him weeks to recover, however it was touch and go when he became toxic before the leak was identified, mum was a wreck.. 

But he did eventually come good - I hope things turn a corner for you soon :)

Yes, I totally regret my decision on the 6st December to have my sleeve.  I went from being a healthy person, working full time, although overweight to being unhealthy and put myself in severe financial hardship.  All this is because I was one of the small percentages to get a leak.  It does happen and people really need to think about it as a possibility and decide that if it does happen can they cope with it mentally and financially, something I probably didn't, went in with the attitude that it wouldn't happen to me, but it did.  I had the sleeve, 3 days later went home, 3 days later got a temp and back to hospital with a clot and infection which then turned to a leak.  Sent to a hospital in Perth, 200 klms from family and home where I stayed for 3 weeks and all procedures that were supposed to fix my leak were cancelled because I wasn't high priority, all this time on a feeding tube for nourishment, nil by mouth only to be told they couldn't help me and sent me home on the 31st December to wait for my surgeon to return home from vacation which was to be 13 more days away.  Spent every 2 hours giving myself feeds with a syringe for that 2 weeks till the dr came back, then waited another 2 weeks to be referred to another dr again in Perth, 2 hrs away, and started driving up there every 2 weeks to have a plug put in to try and plug the leak, still only having fluids, ive now had 2 plugs, the drain that was measuring what was still leaking has fallen out, don't know if the leak is still there or not and wont until I go back for another endioscope on the 5th march and just started having a little pureed food after 11 weeks on fluids.  Financially we are shot, don't really know what we are going to do about it but Im still that weak that after half hour walking around the shops I need to lay down so don't know how im going to be able to go back to work but im thinking of at least trying after the 5th to make some money.  If the leak is still there then I don't know what they will do but that's to wait and see on the 5th March.
So yes, I totally regret my sleeve and would not recommend it to any of my family and friends.
Veronica Simcoe

Not really. I've lost over 60 kilos and I'm a whole new person.

Some days I regret it, but it's just petty moments like not being able to finish a really yummy meal, or not being able to "drink" like a normal person.

I get over it pretty quickly though.

I'd hate to think where I would be now if I hadn't had my sleeve done.

So, does anyone out there regret having their sleeve done and wish they could turn back time?