Personality Change

Gee smurfette that was good. I really enjoyed your post especially these words.
"One is better off to be happy and have no friends, than to be sad and have plenty".

I have lost a third of my weight to date and yes I am seeing some changes but not for the worse but for the better.  I am seeing that I need to have change I need to like myself more and I need to push myself more and I need to start to embrace exercise and healthy eating to keep those changes flowing.

So when you look at those changes I can see for some people associating with people who can't or won't embrace more positive choices could make being with them difficult. I have a fat Mum sister and brother my Mum has been like that all my life.  Would I walk away from her NO but I think as time goes by I may become more critical of some of hers and my siblings choices.  My own Son who is very slim a few years ago gave up eating junk and started eating healthy and doing a lot of exercise he became very critical of me.  I think any major change in lifestyle makes people think and act different.

So I think those of your friends and associates who think its not good to be around fat people may in fact still struggle with their old heads and think they can't take a risk of hanging around those who approach food with abandon.  I think that maybe they carry on about how GOOD they are because they need to reinforce themselves and it comes across as a lecture to you.  Maybe it is to a certain extent and it appears that maybe it has rubbed off as you are looking at yourself in a different way and are looking to make some permanent changes yourself.

Don't be afraid if you are a good person at heart what you look like on the outside won't change that.

I do not think my personality has changed except I am more confident in myself in regard to my body and what I want. I am the same in regard to what upsets me and what I know now, makes me crave food so much. At work, I have found, since I first started loosing weight (and I can only put it down to shear jealously; or maybe I am more confident in my position in the workplace) that I tend to be an outsider now which is a shame; but saying that we did put on another staff member at the same time and maybe it is that one too many in the pecking order is the problem. (it is hard to say but easy to speculate)

I know I am still the person; it is just the way others perceive the me new which sometimes is a problem; yes I did loose a few good friends; though we are still good acquantances if you get my drift. My true friends and my OH have found no change in me except a developing confidence which they had/have always seen, even if I didn't; I suppose that is why they are really 'true' as friends. Ohers that tend to drift away were not so much 'true' friends but if you have ever read the saying

Reason, Season, or Lifetime
People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you figure out which one it is,
you will know what to do for each person.When someone is in your life for a REASON,
it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty;
to provide you with guidance and support;
to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend, and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.
Some people come into your life for a SEASON,
because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;
things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person,
and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
— Unknown (I am not sure whom wrote this)

Yes, I understand what you are saying; though change especially after the the gastric sleeve; physically or / and emotionally; should be expected. Why would it not? I cannot tell you how many times in the past two years I am dumbfounded how many times a shop assistant is so ever too eager to please; when pre-weight loss; I couldn't even get assitance if I asked for it.

I had read that some skinny friends hang around (unbeknowing to themselves) as they look and feel better with fat friends; though when the fat friend becomes skinny they (unbeknowing to themselves) do not want to be around the friend anymore. It makes sense to me know; didn't a few months ago.

My humour is the same; my mentality is the same; my fears are still the same; though I, through the higher confidence in myself; I am able to deal with all aspects of life easier. I was once told by a counciler (and I will never forget the words) "One is better off to be happy and have no friends, than to be sad and have plenty".

In essence, this is how I perceive it; I hope it helps you come to a conclusion.

even though i've JUST had my sleeve - in the past i've dropped large amounts of weight and some people did perceive my personality changing but in MY mind what happened was that I was no longer unhappy and the "real me" came through. This did result in losing some friends (my choice) as i'd been so lonely and desperate I hung onto friendships for fear of being alone even if those friendships were negative.

I think it depends on how you are pre sleeve. For me, yes i'm going to change because one again i've found i have friends that i know for sure if i were happy and healthy I probably wouldn't get along with that much or would find "better" friends, if that make sense? My personality now is very reserved, I don't let "me" out too much... but I look forward to being able to do that as my confidence improves etc... :)

Hi there.. I am still 7 mths off having my op but I wanted to broach this subject with everyone who has lost a lot of weight .. I have several friends who have either been banded or sleeved and have lost massive amounts of weight. I think they look fantastic and I have watched their confidence soar... But... along with that seems to have come a different personality.. One of them has become unbearable.. It is almost like her confidence has become so high that she is too good for everyone now..Like she has no time for her ( fat ) friend anymore. The others have similar attitudes and it saddens me.

I am so scared that my personality is going to change when I lose my weight. I don't want to be like that..I want to keep my bubbly happy go lucky personality just with a healthier slimmer body.

Has anyone else experienced that??